The Glass Princess: True To Yourself

Chapter 4 The Princess who Protected her knight

Chapter 4 The Princess who Protected her knight

"So this is your classroom today?" Naomi asks as she stops walking. I raise my head from my phone and smile nervously. "Yes it seems to be.... Map app was a bit confusing, sorry 'bout that" I reply nervously. Naomi was holding my hand the entire time, keeping me calm despite me panicking about being lost. "I said I wanted to help Princess, its chill" Naomi explains as her voice stays calm but soon becomes heavy as she looks past me with her eyes wide open. Naomi's ex from yesterday walks past starring the two of us down. Naomi's grip in our interlocked fingers loosened, it felt like she nearly reflexively tried to let go. I could feel her hand this time... her usual calm touch now a panicked frenzy, her hand shook like she was about to literally freeze. Naomi is really scared, I know she isn't ready to tell me everything. I can't expect her to info dump about all her trauma. I held her hand tightly, gave her eye contact and stepped a little infront of her. Her hand was still shaking but her breath slowed down dramatically.

Naomi's ex entered the classroom I'm meant to be in.. I couldn't help but worry what kind of things she'd do in there when I'm separated from Naomi. But Naomi is scared right now, I want to at least try to be able to comfort her like she has done for me.

"...Emily I um... if she tries anything, please tell me okay.. Sorry I can't go in with you" Naomi explains softly but with a hint of fear in her breath's intensity. "I'll be okay, promise" I reply holding her closer. "You sound scared, is there anything I can do" Naomi askes me. "I should be asking you that... but yes I'm scared of her because you are... but I don't want to make this about me for once" I reply tearing up a little. "That wasn't what I.... sorry... Look um.... I know we are both there for eachother and.... I need to accept your help more, just talking about it feels hard" Naomi explains softly, also crying a little but with greater effort to not let it out. "Hey um... this is our first time since dating where something has really directly concerned you, so if its okay, I wish to help my knight" I reply softly but with a slight smile. "Then I accept the princesses aide" Naomi says as she pulls me in for a hug trying not to cry too much. I rest my hands in her hair and move through her hair softly. "I'm kinda scared right now Emily.... I thought Alice wouldn't be in my life anymore" Naomi whispers letting out her tears this time. "I... feel a little scared about whether I'll fit in at university... a fear that you also have... but I focused on helping you that I... didn't give room to let you help me" Naomi continues her voice cracking at times. I was in a daze, a panic. Rain began crashing down suddenly nearby the undercover we were in. I only had 6 minutes till class started I had to make this count, I want to help Naomi now that she is giving me a chance to. "We are both scared... that's okay I promise, you can tell me about these things and I'll do better and try to check in on you more. I let things become about me yesturday when it shouldn't of... Naomi um... I don't know how us fitting in will go, I can't promise what will happen. But we came this far, we are living as girls! Like we always dreamt of, and now we are school girls! Something we craved for so long. Your ex is in my class instead of yours thankfully. I don't know how much we will see her but there are so many people in this school... its a new start, not just for me.. But for you as well Naomi" I say slightly louder than before, holding Naomi close. "Thanks Emily... that means a lot" Naomi replies. "The princess and her knight are scared, but the duo always triumph" I whisper giggling a little through some tears. "Things are so different now... but maybe that's why things will be okay. This isn't high school... and you have more confidence than you ever have had... I'll be here for you okay, forever" I reply. Naomi smiles and kisses me. We've only ever really kissed at her house, my house, the park or the beach... But that was always in private. Is this our first kiss fully in public. I softly closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment. We let go, smiling. Naomi looks over to my classroom. "Your class is about to start so, I'll meet you at lunch, sushi place again?" Naomi askes softly and slowly. Our noses still touching, I could hear a relief in her breath. "I'd love to... I gotta go to class, see you soon Naomi" I reply as I begin walking to class, occasionally looking back to see soft smiles from Naomi and I shared back and forth.

I stepped foot in a classroom... a classroom of students of various ages who saw me have an emotional... kiss with my girlfriend. So, most know I'm a lesbian now... That was scary in some ways. But, I felt too good to be too worried. I find it scary to express myself in class. I don't feel I could come out as trans here, I don't know these people yet. Their facial expressions were fairly blank, either out of dislike of me or perhaps a lack of sleep on their parts. I found a seat next to a girl who seemed friendly. I sat in the seat slowly, sinking my body into it as I got ready for class. I got out my pencil case. The graphic of cute animals made me second guess myself. Despite my efforts however, Naomi's ex who I now know's name is Alice walks over and sits riiight next to me despite her already having a seat across the room. She said nothing but she was definitely eyeing me down head to toe. My heart was beating really fast, I was pretty scared.... But I can do this. It's a fresh start, it'll be tough but I have to just try my best.

"So how do you know Naomi" Alice asked with a bit too much enthusiasm. Her surprisingly strong almost valley girl accent was quite striking. Almost like some mix between australian english and valley girl speech. I hesitated and looked at her. She tapped on the table with extremely long nails with an impatient smirk. "Oh um.. Knew each other since childhood" I explained. My voice delivery was smoother than expected but still a bit messy. My thoughts couldn't help but anticipate her clocking me if she hasn't already. "Well honey, I dated her and she didn't mention you at all so let's not lie alright?" She replied with just the right pinch of snarkiness to put me on edge. Naomi likely mentioned me, just under a different name. If I'm too specific she'll have a bit too much to work with. "Suppose I didn't come up then, oh well" I reply nervously as I prepare my desk for class. I placed my notebook and cute pencil case on the table happily trying to create my own space. I get an eye roll from Alice but it seemed to be enough to stop the conversation. I nervously tilt the pencil case so the cutesy teddy bear graphic on the pencil case isn't visible to people next to me..

Class again was tough, it was hard to understand what was happening. I really didn't get it fundamentally. I kept trying to pay attention but I got in my own head too much. I couldn't help but panic I wouldn't be able to complete this subject. I did my best to shake off the doubts. My hands definitely had that distinct shake you'd get when carefully putting lego together.

The other students responded to the various questions from the lecturer. Their voices all soft but confident. There happened to be no boys in this class, so every voice turned into gender envy. The gender envy turned into intrusive thoughts. Worries about whether I'll be able to make friends or not.... Worries about not being seen as a girl... it felt heavy. My ability to pay attention phased in and out. I wanted to just answer one question just to mentally break the ice for myself... but I didnt know any of the answers to these questions... first class of this subject... why am I not understanding it...

Class ended.. And my notes I wrote down I could not really comprehend. It contained buzzwords and... yeah. Not the best start I will admit. The other girls got up from there seats, placing their laptops into their bags within seconds. I took quite some time to get my pencil case, paper and water bottles into my bag. I even rearranged my bag a bit to fit everything, I felt clumsy. Alice was a bit far away from me now, she was talking with some girls she seems to know.

"So do we get to meet him at the party later" one of the girls asked. Alice nods proudly. "Yes! I'm excited, my boyfriend and I are going to get outfits soon" Alice explains. "Didn't you break up with him during the break?" another girl asked, looking a bit confused. "Yes but he got me shoes to apologize so we are dating again" Alice explained.

There conversation paused as I walked past waiting for me to walk a little bit past them then they continued. The rain from earlier was still coming down. Even if there conversation was a bit shallow... it still kinda hurt to not feel included. Would I be able to be friends with a group of girls... would they let me talk about my girlfriend. I just feel I stick out a bit, I want to feel included but I also didn't wanna just copy others. I don't know what I'm not doing right. Its been a single class and like multiple little groups have formed within seconds. I felt too scared to talk much.... But the class is done so, best thing to do is focus on lunch with Naomi.

I opened my phone to see a text from her accompanied by my phones background, both of us together holding plushies. I unlock the phone and view the message. "Hey I made cool friend, you cool with him having lunch with us?" Naomi askes. "Sure! Sounds fun, does he like sushi?" I asked. After a bit of time she replies, "Yeah he does! We are heading over, see you soon princess" Naomi responds.

Naomi made a friend! That's really exciting! She seemed a bit more extroverted than me so I suppose makes sense she got one this quickly. I... forgot an umbrella......