The Glass Princess: True To Yourself

Chapter 8 Revisiting a recent distant past

Chapter 8 Revisiting a recent distant past

"I still love how you said umbigus" I whisper happily while snuggling into Naomi. Everything felt cozy. Being in my girlfriends arms, surrounded by plushies. Additionally a laptop playing the movie we recorded when 8 year old eggs then finished as adults acted as our movie night. We tend to watch this nearly every week at this point. We can't get enough of it honestly. The laptop sat on Naomi's lap ontop of a blanket we recently got. It had a trans flag pattern on it, we literally had to get it. Thankfully it arrived recently so we can use it.

There I was, cozily snuggled up against my girlfriend watching a movie we both made as 8 year olds and finished as adults, a video that chronicles us as eggs and as realized trans women. Trans lesbians. The word lesbian was always tough for me to use, it felt reserved for cis women for the longest time and feeling like I could maybe use it verbally sounds empowering. I hope with time I'll get the strength to describe our love in that kind of way. The video got up to the part we filmed last year with Dakota. "Dakota is quite the natural actress huh?" Naomi whispers. "Yeah.. I think she'll do great in that play" I whisper back smiling. "I have heard rumors that the woman handling the camera of this school production is quite pretty" Naomi whispered beginning to laugh under her breath over her flirting. "Well I um... heard that... the camera woman... has a really hot girlfriend." I softly reply back beginning to get a little nervous. I wanted to say the word lesbian, so much internalized things preventing me. I had a boyfriend in high school but.. That felt too different to be love in the way I understand it. I liked boys, girls and non binary people but, only Naomi makes me feel this sense of love. "Quite a cute lesbian couple I think" I managed to softly reply suddenly getting a little shy and facing head first into Naomi's chest as my face became bright red. Naomi softly brushed her fingers through my hair. "Is um... this you coming out to me as a lesbian... I'm really proud of you for figuring things out" Naomi replies embracing me in her arms a little tighter. "I think I'm pan but... I'm not sure but I just... wanted to call our relationship a lesbian one... and... whatever label I end up using..." I reply slightly muffled by speaking into Naomi's chest. I work up some extra courage and lean up to face her. "Naomi I love you" I whisper as I lean in and kiss her. "I love you too Emily" Naomi replies after releasing from our kiss happily. "I'm never gonna get tired of doing that" Naomi explains giving a big smile while placing one of her hands behind her head for a more relaxed position while sleeping. Her other hand slowly pulling me to her body. "Look how happy we all look" I say softly as I observe the final scene of our home video. "I love seeing you smile like that" Naomi whispers as she leans over to kiss me.

"Y'know uh... well, my previous partner never really did stuff like this.. Was just sex and performative romance when others could see us" Naomi softly explained with hesitation. She nearly looked away, ending the tangent. I held her hand a bit tighter and looked her in the eyes. "That must've been really hard, you can talk about it Naomi" I explain softly. Naomi gulps lightly and leans closer to me. "Alice wasn't really in love with me... she was in love with the boymoder that I constructed socially.... She only wanted to be with a boy version of me not actually me" Naomi continued softly but with her breath intensifying. "It was so performative, quite the popular girl she was and well, that leads you into those circles and I'll admit it was all quite vain at best" Naomi softly continues, her confidence growing as her voice becomes more concise and clear. "I enjoyed the beach parties but I just... well dysphoria got really tough then, I wanted to surf. I wanted to have fun and yet... emotionally being seen in board shorts hurt so bad. Having a girlfriend talk about my muscles and height hurt so bad just... being seen as a strong man hurt... but a strong woman? That is everything that... feels amazing. Like I can carry who I am, keep doing what I love and still be a woman. I could never do that with Alice... so we broke up... I went to gender councilling soon after to get HRT and that..... Led me to you" Naomi explains as she begins to cry lightly. I lean in to hug Naomi tightly. "I'm sorry that happened it hurts to not be seen for you. My exboyfrend he um... well he liked crossdressers a lot.... He found me cute and the relationship felt like he loved the idea of me instead of me as a person. He got drunk a lot, said stuff he shouldn't... though I said bad stuff back it was... what felt like an inescapable loop of watching him get drunk, hit up some random girl then secretly make love with me behind closed doors it just... felt awful." I reply beginning to cry heavily. "So I suppose we both had some yikes ex's huh" Naomi replied still crying but with an attempt to sound lighter mood wise. I laugh under my breath as I lean into her. "Love is like... something where everyone involved should feel seen, loved and more" I explain happily despite my tears. "You are strong Naomi, you opening up won't change that. You are a strong woman, my knight and my girlfriend.. I love you for your kindness, understanding and just everything" I cry out softly hugging Naomi really tightly. "Thank you princess... really it just... I feel much better about both my identity as a woman and also being a tough surfer.. My gender being valid no matter how I express it means a lot... so much so that um... I was thinking of getting weights actually" Naomi replies managing to calm down a little. My eyes widen and happily smile brightly. "We could get some for you tomorrow. You look really beautiful and I think some more muscles would really suit you my knight" I reply softly as I gently slide my fingers across Naomi's arm. Naomi's eyes basically opened wide and she smiled brightly. "Sounds like a plan then, gotta make sure I'm ready to princess carry you on a moments notice" Naomi says while laughing. My checks start radiating heat and turn red really fast. I bite my lip with a smile. "Omg don't look at me like that its not fair" Naomi replies while happily giggling. "How can I when you say cute stuff like that" I protest while giggling along with her. I lean in for a long kiss with the love of my life.