My Composition Notebook

Page 4

Dear Notebook
5/13/20015
10:09 pm

Hey, I just came back from another one of those you know those "arguments".

This time it was about my behavior and I guess I'm not as perfect as I'm supposed to be so yah.

I ran to my room as fast as I could stumbling on the stairs with tears rushing down my face.

As I shut the door I start breathing really hard and I just sat there in the darkness whispering to my self.

And the funny thing was I had no control over it.

It was almost as if I was trying to re assure hope, I couldn't breathe but my mind refused to give up talking.

My mind was making me block out all the other negative voices in my head and focus on this one voice.

It was an extremely scary experience, yet I find the human mind and body to be so fascinating during times of trouble.

It was like 2 people were in me talking to me and breathing the same oxygen as me which made it hard to breath.

While one reminded me of what to live for, the other reminded me of my dreadful past, the bully's and the people who told me to kill myself.

Who is one able to do this and it felt like an overdose of my own feelings that I've been trying to avoid for so long, I could have escaped this there is a way I thought to my self.

The way was the iPhone laying in front of me and I actually took it and as I began to swallow my own poison (which is the phone)

The other person took over me and made me throw it across the pitch black room.

Soon I started panting as the negative and positive thoughts took over my brain and....

I blanked out, I didn't remember how I don't know when.

All I know is that I was found hugging my knees lying in the dark room with a itchy burning feeling on my neck.

I have to leave
Love
Kat
_________________________________________________________________________________

Hey,
Loves I'm so so sorry I haven't updated in so long I've been busy and finals start this Friday for me so that's a day away from today.

And I would like to give a shout out to my brother who's birthday is this Sunday.

Agin I'm so so sorry and also sorry in advance cuz I won't be updating till after finals week most likely.

I'm gonna be a freshman soon so yah gotta do well on this test.

Even though I dread it so much I hate big tests especially when we have to sit in those uncomfortable chairs.

Whoops, sorry I was ranting again anyway

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