Jaime POV
" so we can't have sex because your baby mother is here?" Mariah argued. " we have done it before. What's the problem now?"
" I just don't want to do it." She poked her cheek with her tongue.
" are you guys messing around? Because the way that she was behaving earlier was just way different." I sighed. " I mean just tell me what it is, so I don't walk into this situation blindly. Because she is acting like I am some stranger and you are not my man.."
There was a knock at the door and I quickly hopped up and answered it.
"Hey, I wanted to talk to you guys." I stepped back and let Xyla in the room.
"Okay." I stood beside her and she liked between the both of us.
" OK let me start by apologizing, I had to realize that I was upset, and my tone may have been very aggressive. I didn't mean to come off that way." Mariah nodded understanding. " Also, I wanna apologize for the whole This is my baby father thing I never wanted to be that type of woman. I feel like that shit is so bitter and so cringe and the fact that I behaved in that way is fucking disgusting. Just because he is my baby father doesn't mean I am entitled to him. That shit was so fucking unnecessary and it was just the heat of the moment. I was upset-"
" I understand, and I also wanna apologize because I should respect you guys's parenting. I drag the conversation on, and I made it bigger than what it was. I can say that because I also started to get upset because I didn't understand why you were coming at me like that. We have always kept a mellow type of coexistence relationship. I love your daughter and I hope that this doesn't affect us in the long run." Xyla sighed.
" it won't, we are just going to have to communicate better. If he is planning on having you in his life for a long time then there is stuff that we need to take because you are going to be on my daughter and around me as well." She looked at me and I sighed.
"Okay will do." Mariah smiled softly and Xyla returned it.
"As for you, fuck you." Xyla punched me in the chest and Mariah gasped and i coughed. "Punk ass." She stuck up her middle finger and Mariah laughed.
***
" you do not get to do this." Xyla whispered and I took the juice out the fridge.
" do what?"
Right now we are arguing whispering. It's just funny to me that she gets to feel how I felt the first time. Now she sees that I'm not fucking crazy and I wasn't doing that shit on purpose. It's the fact that we have consistent sex now. She cannot deny the connection anymore. One time OK maybe you're tripping and you can convince yourself. We have sex all the fucking time now. Her and Mariah are the only girls that I am having sex with.
" play these games with me. You have a girlfriend I understand. You can't fuck me how you do and then go home and fuck somebody else the same way." I sighed.
" I would never fuck anybody how I fuck you. I fucking love you there's a difference. I want to take your fucking soul. I want to please you in ways that I never pleased anybody." I whisper-yelled.
"Blah blah fucking blah."
" Stop acting like this, what are you going through right now?"
" You know exactly what the fuck I'm going through. Don't play fucking dumb with me, you know what? It's fine." She wave me off. " it's my fault, I weakened my wall, and it fell. But it'll be back up by tomorrow. This isn't doing me any good or bringing me anything good, it is just fucking with my mental because like I knew before you are just gonna do what you want to do. That's fine, you are just not ready for my vulnerability."
" you pick the worst time to do shit like this. I was single for almost 3 to 4 months and now that I'm back in a relationship you want to talk all of this shit. I am trying to make this work for everybody." I whispered.
She was really starting to infuriate me. This is all her fault we could've been got ourselves together in order to build a relationship. She always waits till I'm gonna relationship to want to be lovey-dovey and touchy touchy and of course I'm always gonna be down. I have always been like this I never switched up. From the very beginning, I was always lovey-dovey and touchy touchy she just reciprocated energy when it's the wrong time and then expect me to rearrange my life.
"Bull- bullshit." She lower her voice back down "this is all about you and you getting what you want. You want cake and you want pie. You want everything to be easy for you, you need everything to be convenient for you." She whispered
" don't act like you aren't getting anything out of this. You have dick whenever you want it. I can't just throw my relationship away for you, some days you don't even know if you're fucking really love me. What the fuck do I look like putting all my fucking eggs in your basket. You have abandonment issues and you have commitment issues. I can't put all my fucking trust in you. I cannot trust your emotions, the only time you truly love me is when I am fucking you. You don't think I can feel that. I crave intimacy on all levels, not just sexually. I can't trust you to love me how I want you to or how I need you to. The same shit you say about me is the same way I feel about you. Yes I do be hearing you on the phone, the same way you feel about me is the same way I feel about you. At least I show you I love you, you came from a broken home I get it, so did I. But you get to choose what route you go down. You keep saying that you're gonna try harder to show that you love me or just people around you in general but you are a stone cold fucking brick wall. I can't keep pouring all of my love into you and not getting anything back. Yes, I have relations with other women because I am fucking single. You can talk all that bullshit about me having a girlfriend, me and the females i get into a relationship with knows what goes on. You on the other hand, don't know, you don't know how you feel, you are unreliable when it comes to things like this. I'm not gonna sit around and wait for you to, give me a half ass hug or only kiss on me when you're horny. I can't give you all of me. I am not the only one who needs to work on something and I am sick of everybody acting like I am. You need to get over your bullshit ass, mom the same way I need to get over my fucked up father. You will not make me pay for how you your mother and father went through their shit. Get help or leave it the fuck alone because you're going to end up lonely." She gasped softly.
" that was low." She put up her face and her face held a cringe. " that was really- bad." She dragged her finger across her bottom lip and her eyes became glossy.
I instantly felt horrible.
" I am so sorry I did not mean to-"
" it's fine, I understand. You can't trust me." She nodded and let out a shaky breath, "excuse me." She walked off quickly and I groaned.
I did not mean to offend her.
"Xyla!" I yelled after her and someone came out from the hallway. "Oh shit."
I pray that it wasn't Mariah.
" Damn that was deep." I heard my moms voice and I sighed in relief.
"What are you doing up?"
" I was coming to get a drink, I saw that you guys were in a heated discussion, so I decided to stay back and be nosy." She laughed softly and I sighed. " it's all right, baby." She rubbed my back.
" it's not all right I just feel like we just keep complicating things. How much did you hear?"
" I came in in the beginning I'm guessing, I have this in there for maybe five or 10 minutes." I laughed softly. " your feelings are very valid, you could have approached it differently... However, that is how you feel, and you have every right to feel that way. You guys interactions are definitely one-sided. She loves you though, she smiles when you smile, she laughs when you laugh, she loves to see you doing good things, and you can tell by the way that she just smiles at every achievement that you have. Even the little things. I have been around you guys this whole time, and I can tell you, she absolutely adores you. When you are around that baby girl, she admires everything about you. The look in her eyes is pure love. she loves you, maybe your words sting now because she isn't used to hearing other people's truth, but they were very true." I nodded.
"Thank you momma."
