Hopeless (byler)

Ch 18: Mike

I've tried talking things out with Will for a week now, but it's like I'm not there, it sucks. I know I was being a jerk, but it isn't like I killed someone. I'll give him his space, but he's going to have to talk to me at some point.

In the past few days I've been trying to take my mind off of the subject, and instead I've been steering all my attention to finishing cleaning my room, beating Max's high score in dig dug, and hanging out with my friends, where Will has been absent from the recent hang outs. I told them what had happened, and no one fully agrees with me.

I walk around the mall with Dustin and Lucas when we see Will and Max standing in the food court. Luckily they don't see us and we run away from that area. I thought Will would be sad about the situation, but he seems fine, which makes me feel confused and a little sad. I want him to be happy, but I thought us having an argument would have a greater affect on him, considering how close we are- were.

After playing at the crappy arcade at the mall, we all bike back to our houses. Lucas is the first one to break off from the group since he lives further away than Dustin and I do. Dustin sighs and starts to say to me "you know, I think that Will might be a little more shaken by this than you think. He's good at hiding his emotions," I think about this for a second before saying "what do you mean?" "Well,", he continued, "I think he's upset for how you've changed over the past year, especially since he and El moved back. You've been ignoring him which we all thought was a little strange because you two were so close before. I gotta turn here, but think about it, see you," and Dustin turns onto his street as I continue to bike in the same direction, very puzzled by what Dustin just told me. I didn't think I've changed that drastically, I know that we've drifted apart a little but we were still best friends in my eyes. He's always been special in my life, different to Dustin and Lucas, and it just now hits me that I might have just lost him forever.

I know what I have to do. My failed apology didn't have any heart or effort out into it, because I thought this would wash over, but clearly that's not going to happen. When I enter my front door, I grab the phone and call Max, who's probably still at the mall. I know she's not very happy with me right now, but her and Will are really close, this has to work. "Hey Max, I need your help with something," I say shyly "what? You better make this quick," "I need you to get Will to come over to my house, make something up about forgetting a sweater or something here, and say me and my family are out at dinner and have him come inside with you. My parents and Holly actually are out of town for the weekend, and Nancy's still at her summer internship in Chicago." first the line goes quite and I think she might have left but then I hear her say "um, why?" I shoot back a response rapidly "I need to fix what happened, and if I go to his house, he'll just close the door in my face again," I await Max's decision, and she finally states, "fine, but you have to fix this, Wills been talking to me and you really hurt him," I was about to thank her profusely, but she hangs up before I get the chance.

I wait for her and Will to show up, and maybe a few hours later, I see Max and Will walking up to my house. I make sure to be in the basement so he doesn't see me immediately, and if tries to leave, Max can encourage him to stay, which I know will work because Max is mad at me right now, so if she says to stay, he'll know it's important, then hopefully she'll leave. I scurry down my basement steps and stand by the couch as I hear two pairs of feet following my trail. Will goes first, so he can't leave. When I see him, his face drops in disbelief, "w-what are you doing here? I thought you were away?" He turns to Max and continues "you said he wouldn't be here, I want to go," he tried to push through her before she says, "no, stay, trust me" Wills face relaxes a bit, and Max walks back up the steps to leave the house. I sit down and so does Will, farther apart than we usually are.

Will starts "how fucking dare you? You treat me like shit for a year and now you expect to just, what, forgive and forget? I thought that we were friends, best friends, but of course not. Max told me you've been annoyed that I've been ignoring you the past week, well try putting up with that for a year! You pretend I'm not there and it makes me feel like shit!" I wasn't expecting him to explode like this, but before I can interject, he starts up again, "It was bad when you and El were dating, but somehow, it's only gotten even worse since the breakup! You're only friends with me when it makes you feel good, but you never once stopped to consider my feelings in all this, I was just here for your own sake instead of my own. And I was ok with that for the longest time because I held onto you so tight, not wanted to accept what we've become, but now I can see you never cares about me," I interrupt by saying "That's just not true, Will I didn't even realize I was doing all of that, why didn't you tell me?" Will looks especially hurt here, "I shouldn't have to tell you! You were my best friend and you should have been there for me." Tears start to generate in Wills perfect hazel eyes, and his breath catches.

I instinctively pull him into a tight hug, which he first rejects, but then falls into my arms. "You've been such a dick Mike,". I continue to hold him close to me, not ever wanting to let him go, when he pulls away from my chest and marches up my stairs, trying to leave. I follow him upstairs and yell for him to stop as he walks towards my front door, he doesn't stop though. But then the world does. Everything freezes and I remember the flower painting Will made, and I finally realize why I reacted like I did, like the flowers that were beautifully thriving under sunlight around a bunch of dead flowers, whenever my life is at a low, there's Will, standing under a beam of sunlight, being my light in the dark, in the way El nor any of my other friends could never do. All my memories of me and him flash before my eyes, as everything over the past year all comes together and-

Oh

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