Call of Desire

11. Disdain

dis·dain
/disˈdān/

noun
the feeling that someone or something is unworthy of one's consideration or respect; contempt.

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Content Warning: Internalised Homophobia, Smoking

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Simon woke, his stomach gnawing at itself. He lifted his head, looking around the room. he hadn't bothered to turn the lights off or close the window blinds before he fell asleep. The moon was visible through the glass, shining brightly among the stars. 

Simon blinked.

Do I even bother getting out of bed?

He turned over, burying himself in the blanket once again.

I wanted to do something... what was it?

Exhaling, he sat up. He glanced around the room, his eyes falling on the neatly folded clothing and styrofoam box left on the bedside table. He completely ignored the small box, grabbing the clean garments. 

Soap, I have to see Soap. I need to check on him. I need to see him.

He quickly got dressed,  brushed his teeth and stumbled out the door in the ill-fitting khakis and black button-up. They must've been Price's. He smiled slightly at the black skull balaclava, slipping it over his face, becoming Ghost once again. He rushed down the hotel stairs, bursting through the exit. 

"Evening, Simon." Price mumbled through his cigar, leaning against the wall beside the door. 

Riley nodded to him. "Sir." 

"Headed to see MacTavish?"

"Yeah." 

"Have you eaten?" the Captain looked at him.

Ghost sighed. "No." 

"You should." he sighed. "I left you food in your room."

"I saw, I just want to see Johnny first."

"Johnny?" Price chuckled. Ghost felt his face heat up, glad that his mask covered it. 

"Yeah." The Brit began to walk off.

"Stay here for a moment, Simon. Relax. You've had a rough week." Price offered him an unopened pack of cigarettes, which Ghost hesitantly accepted. He slowly pulled his mask above his mouth, placing a cigarette between his lips. "Need a light?"

"Mm." 

Price flipped open his lighter, holding it under the end of the cigarette. 

"Cheers," Simon mumbled, taking a long drag. He stared at the hospital at the end of the street, hoping to see Soap walking toward him with a smile. 

"You've never shown this much concern for another soldier." Price stated, staring straight ahead.

"What makes you say that?"

"Just something I noticed."

"Hm." Ghost glanced at his Captain.

He doesn't know, does he?

"Thanks for the pack, Price, but I've gotta go check on Soap," Simon mumbled, walking away.

"I'll be here." The Captain called, taking another drag from his cigar.