Quiet | Seungjin

38

Hyunjin slid into his seat next to Seungmin to see the boy scribbling something down in his notebook. "Hey," he said softly, "how are you feeling? You never responded to any of my messages."

Seungmin didn't even bother to lift his head at the voice. He didn't say anything to him. He didn't even look at him.

"Seungmin," called out the elder, thinking that maybe he just wasn't talking loud enough.

But again he received nothing. He noticed Seungmin squeeze his eyes shut for a moment only to continue staring down at his notebook.

Hyunjin reached out to grab one of Seungmin's hands for the younger to pull away from him. He watched as Seungmin leaned over to whisper something to Shuhua. After a few seconds the two were up and switching seats.

"Are you kidding me...?" Hyunjin whispered.

"Did you guys fight or something?" Shuhua asked.

"Not really. Something happened over the weekend and he just hasn't talked to me since. I don't know why he's acting like that."

Leaning forward so he could see his boyfriend, Hyunjin studied the way his eyebrows were furrowed together. In addition to his uncomfortably concentrated expression, Seungmin was gripping his pencil so hard his knuckles were turning white.

"Will you try to talk to him for me?"

Shuhua shrugged, "I can try my best...but I'm the one that does most of talking when we're together. I don't think I'm going to be able to get much out of him."

"I doesn't matter how little—I just need some explanation—anything at all."

The girl glanced between the two and let out a sigh. "Man...did you like forget an anniversary or something?" She asked.

"No. I already told you I didn't do anything."

"But he won't even look at you...it has to be something serious."

"Can we please just stop talking about it? We should focus on the lesson before we get in trouble."

An irritated groan came from Shuhua as she turned to look up at the board. The silence between them didn't last long. "Do you want to hear about my date?" She whispered.

"I forgot you went on a date—it went well I'm assuming?"

The girl smiled, "well it wasn't technically a date but then she said she really liked spending time with me and we should go out together more often."

"Do you know if she...likes girls?"

"Last year she dated a girl so I'm just assuming that means she does."

✨✨✨

"Why are you so quiet tonight? You're usually so excited to tell me all about your day at school."

Hyunjin looked up at his mother and shrugged. "I just don't feel good I guess—I have a lot of homework to do and I'm not really hungry so can I be e—"

"You can sit back down and tell me what's bothering you," the woman stated flatly.

A sigh fell from Hyunjin's lips as he listened to her and sat back down at the dinner table. "Well me and Seungmin are kind of in a weird spot and I just...I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do."

"What happened?"

"Well when I went over to his house for dinner a couple nights ago...his brother was visiting from college. I don't really remember exactly what happened but his brother kept telling me that Seungmin wasn't ready for a relationship and I should break up with him. Seungmin overheard our conversation and he hasn't talked to me since. He wouldn't even look at me today. I just—I don't know what I did wrong."

"I don't think you did anything wrong, honey," his mother reassured softly, "it's hard being with somebody who's gone through something traumatic. Maybe Seungmin just needs some time to think. I'm sure this is all very overwhelming for him. Not just being in a relationship...but having a family member who wants to make difficult choices for you."

Although Hyunjin tried to put on a brave face for his mother, he couldn't stop the tears bubbling in his eyes. "I was so mad, mom. The way he talked about Seungmin made me so mad. He thinks his own brother is helpless—I'm so tired of everybody thinking Seungmin is helpless. He's a person just like everybody else."

"Oh Hyunjin...I wish the world was at least half as understanding as you are."

Laying his head down on the table, Hyunjin muttered, "I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. I miss him."

"Give him a few more days," the woman urged, "I think it's important to give him the chance to decide when to come to you. If it goes on longer than that...then you should be the one to start the conversation."

"What if he wants to break up with me?"

"Hyunjin, that kid is crazy about you, I doubt he'd want to break up with you over something so small."

"It doesn't feel like he's crazy about me right now."

The woman gestured for her son to sit up so they could have a better conversation. "Just think about it Hyunjin. I know it doesn't make you feel the best...but I understand why he's shutting you out. He's spent the past ten years pretty much silent. I've been the receptionist since he started therapy but I didn't hear him speak until he was with you. He trusts you, Hyunjin, and I don't think that's something he takes lightly. I'm sure it's overwhelming—excuse my language—I know it's overwhelming as hell to go from shutting the whole world out to being in a relationship with a boy he truly trusts all in less than a year."

"Sometimes..." Hyunjin spoke up hesitantly, his voice quivering ever so subtly, "sometimes I get scared that I'm going to do something wrong and lose him. I think I might be in love with him...and that really scares me."

"You're always going to make mistakes when you love somebody. You have to learn as you go."

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