Quiet | Seungjin

6

A groan came out of Hyunjin when he walked into his home room to see they had assigned seats.

"Good morning...uh Hyunjin!" Jessi said, trying to memorize all the students names.

He smiled at her before walking over to Felix and Jisung who were standing in the corner of the room. "Where do you guys sit?"

The two stopped their conversation and turned to Hyunjin with mischievous looks on their faces. Felix's hand shot up in the air, "Ms. Jessi, I have a hard time seeing from the back and Hyunjin said he'd switch seats with me, is that okay?"

"Sure, I don't care," She muttered, not even looking up as she continued to rummage through a pile of papers.

"Why did you d—"

"Gotta find our seats!" Jisung squeaked, pulling Felix away from him.

Hyunjin was grumbling to himself about betrayal for a couple seconds before he finally decided to look for his seat. But he wasn't looking for his name because he had to look for Lee Felix.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the name tag on the seat next to none other than Seungmin. The boy was busy scribbling something down in a planner to notice Hyunjin standing there awkwardly.

"Hi, I'm Hyunjin," He said quietly as he slid into the seat next to the peaceful boy.

Seungmin jumped at the sound of somebody else's voice, turning to look up at Hyunjin with wide eyes. He had to bite back a gasp when he realized he was the boy he quite literally ran into after therapy last week. He flashed a quick smile before turning his attention back onto the planner in front of him.

Hyunjin watched bitterly as a girl sat on the other side of the boy, his face lighting up the second he saw her. What's wrong with me? He asked in his head, glaring at her while she babbled to him about nonsense.

✨✨✨

"Dude she's a lesbian, quit pouting about her being friends with your crush." Felix stated as the three plus Jeongin were walking to Hyunjin's house.

"She's a lesbian—I'm a lesbian!" Hyunjin mocked as he shot Felix a look of pure anger. Jisung opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it.

Rolling his eyes, Felix pulled the elder closer to him, "Why do you even like him anyway?"

An irritated expression formed on his face while he threw his arms in the air dramatically. "I don't! I just wanna be his friend!" He screamed.

"Yeah, you sure do sound really friendly right now." Jeongin deadpanned before pushing Hyunjin.

"You little b—"

"I'll tell Channie you were mean to me," He said with a sly smile on his face.

If murder wasn't a life long sentence in prison, Hyunjin might have considered trying it out on the younger. "Oh Jeongin, I just remembered my mom said you can't come over because...she doesn't like you."

"Nice try, but your mom likes me more than you."

✨✨✨

"Your mother was very excited to tell me that you made a friend at school, you've been talking a bit at home, and you hugged her." Mrs. Park said quietly, placing her clipboard on her lap.

Although he had a slight attitude, Seungmin still mustered up a smile before he nodded. It's not that he wasn't proud of himself, it was that hated talking about things like this with her. She always wanted more.

"Do you think you could tell me about your friend?"

He stared at her blankly, feeling like there was no way he could sit through an hour of this. Looking at the clock, he sighed when he realized it had only been five minutes since this session started.

She tried to hide the disappointment on her face with a smile, "It's okay if you don't want to talk about them. Let's talk about hugging. How did it feel?"

"Safe." He whispered, hugging his knees closer to his chest.

"Are most of your triggers physical?" She asked, clicking her pen annoyingly every few seconds.

Seungmin nodded. Most days everything felt like a trigger, but lately the world didn't seem so scary.

"Why do you think hugging your mom didn't trigger you? Is it because you trust her?" There was a unreadable glint to her eyes, as if she just found the most precious gem. She let out a satisfied hum when he nodded. "Does it hurt when you talk to your parents?"

He shook his head, "...just s—scary." Staying quiet had become a habit for Seungmin, he was used to it. It was hard for him to break out of his everyday routine. He didn't want to lose control.

"I know you hate when I tell you this, but your brain is making you think you're in pain. When you finally work up to telling yourself it's okay to speak, it won't hurt anymore."

A sigh fell from his lips as he rolled his eyes. He was so tired of people making it sound like he could flip a switch and magically get better.

"Seungmin, your parents aren't going to hurt you like he did. They love you, they want to be apart of your life. I want you to try to speak as much as you can with them. Anything is progress." She said softly, scribbling down some notes into her notebook.

As much as he didn't want to agree to this, he nodded. His parents deserved more from him, he should be putting in effort too. He missed them. He just wanted to be okay with them...but he didn't know what was stopping him. More than anything, he wanted to be able to tell his parents how much he loved them.

"I'm proud of you, you've done great this week." Mrs. Park praised as she closed the notebook. "I know it's hard for you at school, but making more friends will only make it easier."

Seungmin's mind drifted to the boy in his class who tried to talk to him today. He didn't intend to be cold, he couldn't help feeling apprehensive. The boy seemed like he genuinely wanted to talk to him, but he shut it down because of nerves. Not everybody's like him. He told himself, making a mental note to try and become some type of friend with Hyunjin.