The Lone Islands// Edmund Pevensie (#Wattys2016)

20- Rose

What is happening to me?

One minute I'm fine, and the next I'm crashing down.

It seems funny towards the outside world, because they don't know how that person is feeling. They think they're attention-seekers. I've seen it all happen before to others.

But never did I imagine I would be a victim of this...this depression...

Why does it have to be him  that saves me.

I don't need saving.

I'm in love with Edmund.

But he doesn't need to put up with this.

He cradled me for hours before I even calmed down.

He must've been annoyed.

It made me feel so safe...but guilt overided my system thinking about how he dedicated himself towards me.

I don't need saving.

But I need love.

But just not from Ed.

I don't want to hurt him.

If I go.

If the Mavericks take me again.

If this...thing doesn't go away.

I wish it would all end you know.

The pain.

It's like travelling back to that moment, thinking that I was going to die.

To die without telling how I felt about Ed, without telling Lucy that she's beautiful, without telling Caspian that I want to be like him. Even Eustace, just something for him.

It's that same pain over and over.

But It's not physical.

Sometimes, I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling.

I don't have the energy to cry.

So I just feel my heart break into millions of pieces.

It isn't helping seeing as the boat is in the middle of a terrifying storm. It feels as if the boat might split in two any second.

There was a knock on the door and I gave permission for them to come in.
I was currently sat on my window seat, staring out, and I could feel the presence of the person now in the room.

" Princess- Your brother asks for you to join us " Trinian asks and I get up, not bothering to reply and started heading over to Caspians chambers and office.

When I entered, I immediately saw Caspian sat by the window, staring at the opaque clouds and rain. It was funny on how rain could have a large impact on peoples moods.
I then moved my eyes to the left to see Edmund, already staring at me.
I was about to ask why I was here, but Trinian closed the door, walked infront of me and started talking.

"So, we're stuck here" He explained, pointing at the map. " Half rations, with food and water for two more weeks maximum- this is your last chance to turn back your majesty " He exclaimed, holding onto a ledge so he wouldnt go flying.
I decided to sit down on my 'assigned' seat in the corner, listening to the conversation.
Normally, I would have interjected by now, but I felt too mentally and physically tired, to do anything.
" There is no gurantee we will spot the blue star anytime soon...not in this storm." Trinian warned, as Ed and Caspian exchanged looks.
" We could sail away too far, if not the edge of the world-" Trinian continued, more speaking to Caspian, then anyone.
" Or get eaten by a sea-serpent " Ed interrupted, smirking.

There was a long pause in the conversation, where both Caspian and Trinian were giving Ed 'the look of death'.

" I'm just saying, the men are getting nervous " Trinian exclaimed, turning back to Caspian. " These are strange seas we are sailing, the likes of which I've never seem before "

" Well perhaps Trinian, you can be the one to tell that guy out there, that we are abandoning the search for his family, or The Lord, that we are giving up on finding the other swords to save Narnia " Caspian said, moving very close to Trinian.

I gave Trinian a look, and at that he turned around, and grabbed his raincoat off the rack.

" Just a quick warning- the sea can play nasty tricks on a crews mind "

And at that he left, leaving Ed, Caspian and I in silence.