Golden

chapter 17

It has been a long night. All four of the boys had been wound up after their meeting with management, coming incredibly close to losing their job until they agreed to give up shorter hours in exchange for choice of press and more vacation days. The compromise had just barely been reached when a plan of action for the next few months has been drawn and then finally, Liam decided to put his foot down and demand that they allow them to reconvene in five months to discuss if they needed to shift anything further based on the dynamic without Zayn. After management had finally left, none of the boys seemed to be able to sit around like they usually did, Liam leaving immediately, Niall fucking around with them for a few minutes before heading out to make a phone call, and Harry had retreated to his room, ignoring his phone entirely. Louis had been so worried he had used the master key for something other than a prank, letting himself into Harry's room. He found him crying in the shower, the water having long run cold. The sobbing lad had begged Louis to take his mind off things, so Louis helped him go down into subspace and was currently holding him close, exhausted, rocking him back and forth as he hummed softly, allowing him to come up on his own terms, a bottle of water at the ready on the nightstand.
He allowed his mind to wander as he stroked his fingers through Harry's hair massaging his scalp, breathing in sync with him, taking comfort in the sound of his steady heartbeat against his own. It was tense without Zayn. He never really realized how reassuring the dark haired lad's silent presence was until it was gone. The comfort of another shoulder to lean on, another lad who was in it with them. He suddenly wished Zayn could be at 1D 2.0, sure he would find it easier with days off. He knew Zayn had his reasons, he just wished he could shake the feeling of abandonment, so pressing, he hadn't managed to take time to message Zayn. He knew Niall had, but he also knew Niall was the only one, the rest of the boys still dealing with their own shit.
He smiled as he felt Harry shift under him, tapping his thigh lightly.
"Hi babe," he smiled, lifting Harry's head and rubbing their noses together, "alright?" He asked
Harry smiled back and nodded, whispering a "thank you," as Louis pressed the water to his lips, poking his dimple gently. He helped him into the shower, turning the water to steaming hot and massaging the body washes into him firmly and lovingly before snuggling into each other in the bed, Harry in just a soft cotton shirt, he in boxers. They didn't say much, just took comfort in each other's presence for a while until Harry broke the silence
"Today was weird." He commented
"Weird for me too, love," Louis agreed, knowing it would be enough.
He sighed to himself, suddenly jealous that Harry had the option of turning his mind off. With everything changing around them, he wished he could find a way to disconnect from it all, suddenly wondering for the first time in his life what it would be like to not think.
"Curly?" He whispered softly, "what's it feel like?"
"What does what feel like sun?" Harry asked sleepily, pulling up his eye mask to look him in the eye
"Like when you..." He trailed off suddenly unsure of himself, blushing slightly as Harry fully turned around in his arms and kissed his cheek encouragingly, "like when you go down, I guess," he blushed, trying to shrug it off
Harry laid his palm on his chest and looked up to him, regarding him curiously, "for me," he said carefully, blinking up at Louis with beautiful eyes, "it's like my whole world shrinks down to the sound of your voice and the feel of your touch," he tried to explain, "I don't know how to explain it, it's like everything is fuzzy in my mind and all I can do is follow what you say." He smiled softly as he said, "why?"
Louis shrugged again and pulled Harry's mask down, kissing his forehead, "nothing."
Harry pulled his mask up resolutely, "do you want it?" He asked gently, "I could try. We've never done it before but I know I'm up for anything with you."
Louis blushed, "you're so good to me you know?" He sighed, "I don't know if I want it, I don't think I'd go down that easily to be fair, but the idea of shutting out everything is something I would love right now to be honest." He smiled, "but not right now."
"No definitely not right now," Harry grinned, "but we can continue this chat in the morning,"
"Sounds good," Louis smiled back, pecking his lips one last time, "now shut up and let me sleep."
Harry giggled, turning back over to let Louis spoon him from behind, holding his arm with both of his own.
"Night Lou," he whispered. But Louis was already asleep.
When he woke up in the morning, Louis grinned at Harry's form fully wrapped around him, legs tangled together, mouth slightly open against his torso. He slid out of the bed, leaving a note on the nightstand to let Harry know he'd gone back to his own room.
After he'd ordered room service for the two of them, Louis began to unpack the things he'd need for the day, pulling on comfy clothes for the soundcheck, packing a backpack with basic essentials and some emergency supplies I'm case Harry got too stressed: a little Tupperware container of strawberries and a butt plug just in case. As he packed up his own little comforts, he played and replayed yesterday's meeting despite himself, trying to see if there was a place he could have asked for their freedom. It was a scary thought, coming out to management who had been fighting the rumours viciously since they had begun to circulate. He knew they would never cave on that, the way they had argued over each request made him realize that. Their leverage could only take them so far and the threat of losing their jobs was too big. Still, he let himself imagine walking on to stage hand in hand with Harry, being able to serenade him without fear, take him out on a real outdoor date in a crowded place. His dreams were interrupted by a light knock on his door announcing room service. As he was wheeling it in, he saw Harry approaching out of the corner of his eye, ruffling his hair back, so he left the door slightly open for him to come in, smiling in greeting as Harry laid his own backpack on the floor and cuddled into his back as he arranged the room service plates.
"Morning angel," he smiled
"Morning sunshine," Harry replied sleepily
The two had a lazy breakfast, talking over their plans for the day. It would no doubt be a busy one with their first show I'm a while. They had a soundcheck, a management meeting, an interview and then the show itself. It would be their first appearance since Zayn has left so they had a lot of pressure to do it right.
Neither of them wanted to talk about it though, so they kept the conversation neutral, bantering about Simon's new nose job instead and snort laughing.
Suddenly there was a loud knocking on the door, "oi! Louis! Open the door I'm hungry bro." Harry laughed and ran to the door, opening it and pulling Niall in quickly, shoving him onto the bed to share their room service.
"I was gonna suggest I third wheel the two of you so you can have a breakfast date but Larry morning in bed is fine by me too." Niall grinned, plucking a waffle and holding it out to Harry to heap whip cream on it.
"Larry cuddle?" Louis asked, slinging his arm over Niall who immediately laughed and pulled Harry into it, the three laying splayed over eachother, sharing the room service between them.
"We should text Liam to come join us," Harry commented, Niall murmuring his assent and sending off the text quickly. A couple minutes later, Liam slipped in, positioning himself behind Niall and taking a portion of fruit salad. "This is some nice ass fruit," he commented mildly, "Jesus that's fresh."
"Fresh." Louis scoffed, "man has a way with words,"
"Shut the fuck up Mr loaded gun," Liam grinned back, taking another bite, Louis making a snarky face at him which Harry instantly kissed away.
"Do you reckon we'll manage to cover Zayn's solos?" Niall asked, a worried look on his face, "lad's voice might be irreplaceable like Si said."
"Aww don't worry Ni," Harry ruffled his hair, "Li and I have been practicing best we can, and as Louis said, it's not like we're shit singers without him."
"No definitely not." Niall agreed, "I don't really want this to change you know," he commented
"You lads ready for today?" Louis asked, changing the subject as he tended to do whenever someone brought up Zayn
"No fucking way." Harry grinned to the sound of Niall's laughter, "are you the one to keep us on schedule."
The four laughed and stood up to go, Harry pressing one last kiss to Louis' lips before they left the room, "for the road," he smiled.
The four boys net up with their security at the front, fist bumping Paul as they passed him.
"Ready to go?" He asked with a friendly smile
"Yup." Niall grinned, "missed ya Paulie."
Paul laughed at that and escorted them out to the tourbus waiting outside, it would become their home for the last stretch of the tour. Out of the corner of his eye, Harry noticed the hotel staff carrying their suitcases into the bus so he ran over to find bump each one, thanking them for their stay as Louis looked on with a fond smile, waiting so they could board together.
"My perfect gentleman," he grinned when Harry returned, warning himself an eye roll and a warning look from Harry, not that he gave a fuck.
"Let's roll Curly," he laughed, pushing Harry onto the bus and following behind, instantly laying his day backpack on the spare bed and rushing off the bus to grab his video games from the suitcase so he could lay them out.
When he was satisfied with the setup, he meandered out to the others who were sprawled out on the couch snacking and scrolling on their phones.
"Let's go motherfuckers!!" He yelped, flipping them off excitedly as the bus started to roll out. "fucking finally." He pushed Niall aside and plopped himself between Harry's legs. "mine." He growled at Niall who was holding back his laugh.
"Got it." Niall grinned back, sharing a look with Harry that only pissed Louis off more. "I said mine." He grumbled, "get your own boyfriend."
Niall shuddered deeply at the idea, his face turning a delicate shade of pink as his phone rang.
"It's me girl." He smiled, picking up and slipping into the bunkbed area.
Liam poured them all shots from a bottle of tequila he pulled out of his bag. "to the next part of tour" he downed a shot, looking expectantly at the others. Louis stared back, "bro, it's bloody 8am."
"I know bitch," Liam laughed, "perfect timing,"
Seeing the others shrug, he reached over and downed their shots as well, getting up, "you guys are lame company, I'm going to harass Niall." He flipped them both off lovingly and headed in Niall's direction.
"Well, he's not okay." Harry commented, snuggling closer into Louis and then immediately sitting up as the bus stopped and a security member got on board, he reverted the conversation to a whisper, "talk to him Lou?" He asked quietly
"Last time you asked me to talk to someone...he left right after," Louis pointed out
"Z was gone a while ago I think. Li's going to need major intervention if he doesn't stop drinking this much. Did you notice how quickly he finished the champagne on the plane?" Louis nodded quietly
"Okay." He agreed, "I'll give it a go."
"Thank you Lou." Harry smiled, "let's go save Niall, c'mon."
When they found the other two, it was clear it wasn't Niall who needed saving. He had Liam in a deadlock, the muscular man trying to kick his way out while Niall laughed.
"Aww, Hazza, look at baby Niall all grown up," Louis pretended to tear up
"Come here big boy," Harry cooed, stepping forward and giving Niall a kiss on the head, pinching his cheeks and bending down eye level with Liam, "that's got to be embarrassing mate," he laughed, "how'd you piss him off?"
"Told him the ending to parent trap." Liam laughed with a massive kick backwards, landing both on the floor while Louis gasped dramatically
"You didn't!" He roared, pulling Liam up as he attempted to launch himself at Niall, "c'mon Niall, that's unforgivable." He dragged Liam's hands behind his back, steadying him with his knees as he attempted to run away. With a skill Liam and Niall had never seen from him before, he shoved Liam onto the couch, still holding his hands right behind him, "finish him off Ni," he winked and Niall threw himself forward and licked a wet stripe on his cheek while he squirmed in Louis' grip
"You going to mess with my boy again?" He demanded while Harry gave Niall a thumbs up for a job well done
"Probably," Liam laughed
"Good answer," Louis announced, "up you get."
"Jesus," Liam shook his arms out, wiping his face with his sleeve, "H, what are you feeding him?"
"I could feed you some too if you want a piece," Harry winked and Liam choked
"Go to hell," he snarked, Niall losing it in laughter as the bus pulled up and Harry lifted Niall into a piggy back. "undisputed winner," he announced nodding to Louis to get their bags, not seeing how he chuckled Niall's bag to Liam as soon as he could who in turn looped it through Niall's shoulders so he could carry it himself while Harry walked him in to the venue, the others following closely behind laughing between themselves.
Harry used all his energy to throw himself into the interveiw, the other boys following suit. They wanted to present themselves as ready to roll. Refreshed, undeterred by Zayn leaving. Their slogan was quickly becoming, 'we aren't shit singers without him.'
He joked, he laughed, he made a show of counting on his fingers and looking around when the interviewer pointed out the obvious and finally, he charmed. He smiled, flirted, used his gifts to make himself loveable, to make the band loveable. He could see Louis smiling happily as he watched him, sneaking glances in when he could even though they were told numerous times not to look at eachother because of the rumors. Privately, he would fantasize about Louis kissing him breathless while he flipped off the entire management team, but now was not the time.
After the interview though, he did get his passionate kisses as they made out in the dressing room with the door locked shut, Louis reassuring him how well it had gone over and over until they were interrupted by Niall and Liam who pounded the door down and demanded that they celebrate. As the noise does down and Niall slipped out to get a phone call, Louis nodded to Harry's silent question and sling his arm around Liam.
"We haven't reconvened after bloody forcing management to be on our side Li," he smiled, "want to take a walk?"
Liam smiled back widely, leading him out to the parking lot outside, both settling down on the ground.
"This isn't about fucking management shit bro." Liam laughed, "what do you want to talk about?"
"Sometimes," Louis sighed dramatically, "it's sucks that we've known each other this long."
Liam laughed appreciatively but said nothing, encouraging Louis to talk.
"Well it's nothing really major," Louis stuttered a bit, "just we noticed that you've been fucking...um...like...I don't know how to fucking say this jeez." He sighed, "you've been drinking allot Li and I want to know if you're okay," he finally said directly
Liam stared at him, clearly offended, "you don't know shit Louis." He said lowly, "so mind your own fucking business." With that, he stood up and stalked off, leaving Louis alone on the sidewalk blinking after him. Eventually, he pulled himself up, heading back in to ready himself for the show, shaking his head at Harry's questioning look. When Niall and Liam retreated to their own room, he sighed and threw himself into Harry's waiting arms, letting him caress his shoulders gently.
"Didn't expect it to go fucking different you know," he rolled his eyes, "but I'm pretty sure he'll never speak to me again."
"Mhmm," Harry mumbled encouragingly
"You're sleeping on the couch tonight." Louis snapped, "told you I didn't want to talk to him."
Harry pulled his arms back, hurt.
"M'joking love," Louis smiled, "you know I can't fucking sleep without you. M'not mad anyways." He kissed the sour look of Harry's face, "c'mon babe it was a joke," he sighed when his face didn't change, "now everyone but Niall's pissed at me." He pouted and Harry caved, pulling him back into his arms on the couch, instantly lifting his hand from his thigh as Lou knocked on the door and slipped in.
"Late. Louis." She snapped her finger, beckoning him out the door, Harry gathering their day backpacks and following as usual, already wondering how to get his earlier good mood back. He decided to go through the setlist for later as Lou worked on Louis' stage makeup.
"We're doing c'mon tonight, that should be interesting to see if we pull it off." He commented quietly, turning on some Liam Gallagher for Louis' sake.
Louis snorted, "you hate that shit," he stated, brow raised.
"Yeah, but you love it and I fucked up your mood so now I'm responsible to bring it back." Harry said quietly, half serious and Louis grumbled.
"Okay Haz bro," he said sternly, ignoring his eye roll at the name, "Im already have guilt for coming after Li, don't make me feel guilty for making you feel guilty as a fucking joke."
"Okay okay, consider it dropped." Harry smiled, cranking up the volume on his phone as Lou laughed and finished up. "I swear to God its not normal to be this gorgeous Louis." She smiled as she moved on to blowdrying his hair, teasing it as she did so. Louis watched Harry tense up and relax, so quickly anyone who wasn't an expert in his body would've missed it. But Louis knew better. He used his foot to tap Harry's shoulder and motioned for him to come closer, letting him lean back against his legs, the platonic closeness comforting for both of them. Slowly Louis relaxed into Lou's touch, letting the music rush over him. By the time Lou was done poking and prodding him and gesturing Harry into his chair, he was considerably happier.
Harry smiled happily at him, smile widening as Louis pulled out the container of strawberries popping them in his mouth one by one as he did his best not to move. "You know Lou," he commented, "I must say, your talent is incredible."
Lou smiled and curled yet another strand, "flattery will get you nowhere Harry," she smiled despite herself, "and you're all done here,"
She gently prodded Harry up and the two left her to clean up, Paul falling into step with them as they walked. A member of their management crew, Rick, started going through some basic instructions for the show, reminding them not to mention Zayn and to give it their all, first public appearance without him. They nodded curtly as he left, heading for Liam and Niall's dressing room, finding them chilling on the couch, a bag of Cheetos between them. Louis slipped next to Liam, Harry bu Niall. "consider it dropped," he whispered to Liam, "but subject to reopening at your choice, K?"
"That's a bunch of fancy fucking words." Liam scoffed, "but fine. Cheetos?"
Louis grinned and the four leaned back, joking with eachother for the last 5 minutes before heading side stage, clasping their hands in the middle.
Showtime.