𝐎𝐜𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐦 [Christopher & Matthew Sturniolo]

Mᴏᴍᴍʏ?

ꜰʟᴀsʜʙᴀᴄᴋ

Sᴇɴɪᴏʀ Yᴇᴀʀ
⁰⁴/²¹/²⁰²⁰

Taylor Withlock

Through the whole meal I felt kinda sad from what happened, conflicted on why I started to feel this way out of the blue.

We made small talk while eating, looking around and overall just enjoying the moment. No fight, no annoying siblings, nothing to drag us away from our small peaceful moment. After eating we decided on walking around the arcade, not playing but just admiring the place. We walked closely and I could feel our hands brush from time to time but I didn't have the courage to do something about it, even though this is considered a date I don't want him to think I'm all over him.

I should stop overthinking.

I hugged my body to keep more warmth, I have no idea why but I'm super cold today and even though the jacket is doing it's job at keeping my temperature I still get chills now and then, it could be my nervous state or the anxiety. Matthew seemed to realize it because he suggested we went back home so I could put more cozy clothes on. I wanted to stay more, I want to feel this peace a little longer to memorize exactly how it feels, just so when I get lonely I can remember what it feels like to be with him and not care about being 'too nice' or 'weirdly calm'.

I reluctantly agreed, remembering that we needed to get back with the groceries so Mary Lou could make dinner for us. And then, it happened again.

Matthew grabbed my hand to help me keep up with his pace, zigzagging us between the locals to where it wasn't so packed with people and consequently getting to where he parked. And I felt again, this fuzzy feeling. Like a good anxiety, the chilly feeling you get in the pitch of your stomach from the amount of adrenaline your body releases, or when you're in the high part of a rollercoaster and suddenly, when you're about to drop, it stops for a few seconds, leaving you hanging and yearning for the time where it finally happens.

And I felt... Truly happy.

I started to swing our intertwined hands in a exaggerated way, making him chuckle at how my mood changed just by the idea of me going back home. Or that's what he thought, I don't think he knows why I'm actually content.

We reached the parking spot and he let go of my hand, the feeling of emptiness again hitting me like a strong wind, the chilling sensation took control of my body once more and I held the jacket closer to me. And then I realized that maybe he was cold too and was just being nice by not asking for his jacket back, I took the clothing piece off and held it in front of me.

"Here" I said handing it to him, with a hope that he would let me wear it for a little bit more. The way it was oversized on me brought a feeling of comfort, like on a rainy cold day when you go to the living room to watch a movie and bring your blankets with you to the sofa, wrapping it around yourself and getting cozy. The feeling of warmth and safety, protected against anything.

"You can keep it for now" he replied with a dismissive tone, gesturing for me to put the jacket back on "I don't want you catching a cold" he turned around to open the door.

I would never guess that him being nice would make me feel this way.

I stood there, registering what happened thinking it was longer than I planned since Matthew called for me.

"Are we going home or do I need to leave you here?" he joked when noticed my frozen state.

"I should call an uber, I don't know if I trust you driving me around" I joined in his joke.

"Well then thank god it's not Nick who's driving" he leaned on the car, putting his arms on the top and resting his chin on them. How can he manage to look good doing anything?