𝐎𝐜𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐦 [Christopher & Matthew Sturniolo]

ᴛʜᴇ 'ꜱᴏ'

ꜰʟᴀsʜʙᴀᴄᴋ

Sᴇɴɪᴏʀ Yᴇᴀʀ
⁰⁴/²²/²⁰²⁰

Taylor Withlock

"Hello, ma'am" Matt said as soon as I opened the door of his car.

"What's up, frogface" I return his energy.

"I don't have a frog face" he said looking at himself in the rear view mirror.

"Of course not" I spoke with obvious sarcasm as I put on my seat belt "So what do you want to talk about?"

"I'm going to take you somewhere first" he said making his way out of the front of my house.

"And may I know where?" I asked curiously.

"You'll find out" he said with a sneaky smile and I just rolled my eyes "So, your friend slept over last night" he commented while paying attention to the road.

"Lizzie?" I said in surprise.

"Yeah, and she said some interesting things to us about how you said you're just playing with my feelings" he pronounced which made me even more shocked.

"I never..."

"You never said that?" he completed my sentence before I could finish it "Yes, I know" he stated.

"How?"

"I don't know, it just doesn't sound like something you would say" he shrugged and I smiled "But Nick and Chris seemed to believe it, I mean Nick more than Chris" he explained and inside me I already expected it.

The drive to the mysterious place took about twenty minutes, and when I saw the empty Pier on the beach I felt an inner peace. When we got out of the car and went to sit on the edge of the Pier I saw that Matthew was carrying a notebook with him.

"Why did you bring that notebook?" I asked curiously sitting down beside him facing the huge sea.

"Ah, it's force of habit" he looked at his notebook-carrying hand as if he only realized now that he was carrying it "I usually come here to write"

"Write what?" I watched his expression turn into a shy one.

"I write about my day, or whatever I'm feeling, in here is basically everything that happens to me" he lifted the notebook and tapped the black cover with his index finger.

That could help Paige and me figure out what he and his brothers were up to against both of us.

"Will I ever get to read anything?" I questioned, watching his eyes go into panic as soon as the question was asked.

"Unfortunately no, it's too personal stuff" he gave a dull laugh at the end, looking nervous. I thought about insisting a little more to know what was written there, but I knew from his reaction it would be impossible for him to give in, but I was going to get that notebook one way or another.

"Fine, then, I'll be eating myself up inside" I said and he laughed lightly "So, why did you bring me here?" I tried to change the subject to something else that was also making me curious.

"Taylor, what are we?" he asked suddenly.

"What do you mean?" I asked knowing exactly what he was getting at.

"We had fun yesterday, right?" I just nodded "But we know that yesterday wasn't just a friend thing, and if that's all I'm sorry, but I feel like it's not and if that's the case I need you to tell me" I felt it too and I wanted to tell him but sometimes you just want something so bad you have to lie about it, so you can hold it in your mouth for a minute. I didn't know how real hunger has a real taste. There are so many things making these feelings too complicated. Too dangerous. I don't even know if I can trust him, let alone admit something like that "I just need to know about you, Taylor, are we just friends?" the question brings me back and in the most unknowable way I just proceeded in observing the way his gaze scans every part of my face. I remained muted, but I wanted to utter that before I answered I needed to know how he felt about being by my side. I longed to know what he imagined when he saw me stripped of any modesty or fear, and in the silliest way, I was wondering what in me has been making him stay.

"I don't know" I replied in defeat, not being able to say any of the things I wanted "I really don't know, Matthew" I repeated and his reaction was a short faint laugh, as if maybe my answer wasn't the worst he expected.

"I used to hate it when you called me Matthew and not Matt" he remarked unassumingly, trying to unload the heavy mood "But I've come to like it since yesterday" he revealed.

"Why's that"

"I don't know, there is something intimate and private when you call me by my whole name" he looked at the sea which made his eyes get even brighter and bluer "There was a time when you wouldn't even talk to me and I wondered if you at least remembered my name" I let out a laugh when he said such a sentence, as if it was the craziest thing to forget who he is "But now when you say it it's like you're saying I know who you are, I see you and I'm talking to you" he explained and that made my chest calm down for a few seconds. I hate that I needed more of this from him. There's nothing more humiliating to me than my own desires. Nothing that makes me hate myself more than being burdensome and less than self-sufficient. I don't want to feel like the kind of nagging woman who might exist in a rom-com.

"I think we are not only friends" I let it slip and the same shock he had at my confession, was my reaction "But let's not talk about it, please, I feel like anything could spoil whatever this is, and I wanted to keep it a little longer"

"All right" he tried to hide his smile "But I'm glad you feel the same way, after yesterday I thought I was going crazy in thinking about you this way"

"Because of what Lizzie said?" I asked annoyed to even remember her face.

"No, because I dreamt of you" he took me out of my little moment.

"Really? How was it?" I sounded more excited than planned.

"I don't know if you deserve to know" he teased.

"Why not?" I faked a sad face.

"You won't give me a break if you know" he turned his body to me.

"When did I ever give you a break?" I countered his argument.

"Good point, but I still can't tell you" he said, running his hand through his hair that fell in his eyes.

"Well, if you don't got the courage to say it a loud, it must have not be important" I tainted, trying to get whatever is out of him. Matt looked at me in the eyes and let out a sigh.

"You showed up at my door. In the middle of the night. A little out of breath" he started to tell with a lot of pauses "I asked you what are you doing here but instead of replying you just hugged me tight" he clenched his jaw as he finished his sentence as if he was holding back some words "And you whispered in my hair... 'There'll be no more bad nights, I'm here now'"

Burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves, that's probably the reason why after what Matthew said I got closer to him, hold his face in my palms and sealed our lips together in a long kiss.