My ex boyfriend. | l.s. (mpreg)

Torn back and forth

I don't have much spare time the following week(s) to write so this will probably be the last chapter for a while but because so many of you wanted this chap here so badly you get it now:) enjoy and I expect loads of comments for this one;) don't leave me hanging. x

"Please kiss me." Harry breathed out.

Louis forced his doubts to the back of his head and closed the gap between them, touching Harry's lips with his own and the explosion of want and longing were pulling them into a bubble where only they existed and everything around them blurred out.

It was like Louis got shocked and a fire that started on his lips engulfed him through his veins, his skin and his organs. He tilted his head to have better access and pulled Harry closer who flung his arms around his neck moving his lips in a slow rhythm.

Harry's stomach got pulled together at finally feeling the lips he had missed so terribly on his own after such a long time and it was even better than when he had kissed Louis for the first time. The butterflies in his stomach were going crazy that it hurt and took his breath away.

He soaked in the warmth on his mouth and rose up on his knees about to sit on his lap without even thinking because it had been normal for them back then when suddenly Louis froze and broke their kiss, his hands dropped to the side as he stared at him with reserved eyes.

"I can't-" Louis pressed out. "I can't do this."

Harry's little bubble burst and left disruption and a stinging in his heart as he slowly moved back with parted lips and dropped his eyes to his lap suddenly embarrassed.

What the hell was he thinking? Of course Louis wouldn't jump in bed with him just because they were getting along and he still had immense feelings for him. They were far past the state where feelings could fix what had happened between them, what Harry had done to him.

"No. I understand. I'm sorry. I didn't-" Harry shook his head puzzled to sort his thoughts before he got up. "I should go. I'm sorry." He turned around and hurried to the door with tears stinging in his eyes.

As soon as he was outside a sob escaped his lips and the guilt was eating him alive. He barely made it home without breaking down but when he was inside of his flat he slumped down on the floor and cried. He felt guilty because he knew Louis loved him and had to go through so much because of him, not knowing about Harry's feelings and Harry still took advantage of him by intending it when he had took the first opportunity by intertwining their hands in hopes to get Louis to the point where exactly they were. He knew it was wrong and how Louis must be feeling right now and he felt so bad for causing so much trouble again.

That night neither of them got a single second of sleep too troubled of the evening's happenings. Harry feared he could have destroyed their newly found bond and Louis wanted to punch himself for letting that happen in the first place, letting Harry get under his skin and getting carried away in the moment.

Four days passed with no contact at all between the two men and Harry didn't dare texting, let alone calling Louis to even ask if he could spend time with Ava. Louis was drowning himself in work in order to distract himself but it didn't help him at all. He was going crazy not being able to talk to anyone about it, the first person he would go to was Liam but he couldn't do that seeing he was one of the reasons he had stopped before it had even properly started and he couldn't do this to him telling him that he had kissed Harry just shortly after they broke up.

He knew he had to reach out to Harry at some point, at the latest when Ava was asking him constantly when she was going to see him again and he really didn't have the nerve to deal with a cranky four year old with so many things on his mind, so when he came out of his last meeting before lunch he grabbed his phone and slumped down on the couch in his office. It took him about five minutes to grow some balls and actually hit the call button and with clammy hands he put the phone to his ear waiting anxiously.