R&R

Chapter 17

I spent the next week in a funk. Time was running out.

I couldn't focus, I couldn't think. Randy had thrown the most impossible decision on my lap and said pick or lose me. I almost gagged at the thought. I had made a mess of this gang, Randy hurt his brothers in a frenzy of emotion. Taco's nose was broken, Curtis' leg was hurting him and it was my fault.

All I wanted was to help this gang become better, not tear it apart. I had until Vinny's wedding to decide and it was in less than 5 hours! I had spent the week in work, I ate and slept there nipping home only to shower and change. It was insane, I hadn't seen anyone! Vinny would text me now and then but everyone else understood I needed space.

They didn't know what to do to help either, what could they do? They're efforts got them injured. Randy was unstable right now, Tommy was probably pissed. April wanted to help but she couldn't help either. Ramee would give me sympathetic looks when he did see me, he was the only person I would see when I went home late at night to shower and change. He wouldn't talk but I felt some sort of connection to him, like he really knew what I was going through.

I was sitting in my bedroom looking at the dress I found on my bed. April had gotten me my dress for Vinny's wedding... Even now she was looking out for me... I didn't deserve her. I didn't deserve any of these people around me. I didn't deserve Randy or Tommy.

They were better of without me.

I sat up as something clicked in my brain.

They were better off without me.

That was it!

I already knew the answer to Randy's question of 'Me or Tommy'.

No!

I won't choose because they deserved to find someone less broken. Less drama, all I had given Randy was pain and heart break. All I had given Tommy was beatings and heart break. I knew Tommy was holding back when he fought Randy because I had asked him a while ago... He was taking the beating because of me.

I was going stag.

I nodded to myself and picked up my phone. I needed April.

April and I stared in the mirror, she had done me up for the wedding. I wore the dress she picked out. It was a long black number with a large slit up the side. The neckline was a lot lower than I would have picked but April assured me that with the body chain it looked good. It had long sleeves and a corset around the waist, pushing my boobs up and forward. I looked like a slutty vampire witch, with the long dark hair and red lips. She had me out here looking like a damn vampire for a wedding.

April however wore a long red dress, with a strappy front, she was of course a vision as usual forever my opposite, her hair was in a complicated up do that must have taken hours. She had pearls in random parts of her hair and pearl earrings, not many people could pull off the outfits she wore but April wasn't most girls, she was a damn icon.

"... Have you made a decision?" April asked awkwardly staring at the ground.

I let out a sigh as I packed my leg holster up my leg. "Yes..." I tightened it. "I choose to be alone." I grabbed my hand-gun and packed it in the holster.

"What?" April gasped turning to me, her blue eyes wide. "No!" She shook her head distressed. "That's now how this is supposed to go!" She frowned over at me. "You're either supposed to realise Randy is the love of your life and run to him or realise your feelings for Tommy had over-taken Randy and run to him!" The worry in her eyes was alarming.

I walked over to her and put my hands on her shoulders. "I know you want me to be happy April and I love you for it but this isn't where it lies, I'll find happiness in my own way." I caressed her cheek and made my way over to the ambitious heels she had picked out for me. "Were you serious about these heels?" I raised my brows at her.