he was my dream, and we were his

Chapter 7: international break

its been two weeks since you last saw mason in person, international breaks were always hard but now you had no boyfriend and no one to leave Ellis with. Southgate had finally sent the invitation for the families to go for the remaining to two weeks and as much as you were looking forward to spending every minute of the day with mason, you couldn't help the anxiety of jack finding out because the conversation had never came up. you were going to have the conversation with him the day you left to come back from Manchester but that never ended up happening and then two weeks passed and they were all leaving for internationals. tomorrow was the month anniversary and keeping it a secret for all that time was proving surprisingly easy.

the car journey was torture. along with Ellis' continuous screaming you also had to keep the vehicle on the road and keep mason up to date with the journey. over the past month motherhood had become a lot easier. you'd even found time to get new hair and lash extensions and your nails done, you were finally starting to feel like yourself again after 5 months of feeling a living breathing mess. although mason hadn't seen the glow up yet, he was pretty much used to the nursing bra, sweatpants, messy bun, half done makeup, baby sick and breast milk Stella. this morning you squeezed into your Nike pros and threw masons England shit over the top even taking the time to curl the ends of your hair and apply a full face of makeup. however it broke your heart to put Ellis in his England shirt with Grealish on the back because you really wished it could've said mount. you and mason had spoken about kids before and as much as big part of you really wanted your close in age so they could grow up really close like your sisters did, a smaller part of you knew you couldn't cope with 2 alone. 

the drive was nearly over and Ellis had finally fallen asleep, leaving you alone in your thoughts. thoughts you wished mason was there to talk to you about. you began tapping the screen and started to call mason. he answered the call on the first ring.                                                                            ~hey babe, are you okay whats happened~                                                                                                              ~yhyh baby I'm fine but when are we gonna have a baby~ the question shocked him and it took him a while to even acknowledge what you said...                                                                                                  ~I dont know, I mean I know I want kids with you but when is a different story. we have Ellis and I'm happy so if you dont want to we dont have to but whenever your ready its your body~                ~well I don think I'm ready to be pregnant again I think I'm still a bit shocked from last time but i dont want you to feel like I'm not listening to what you want~   

After an hour long discussion you and mason decided to revisit the idea of having a baby after Ellis' first birthday giving you around 7 months to make a decision. it was only in that moment you realised you left all your toiletries and medication at home so you had a bag full of makeup and no toothpaste so you pulled into the nearest services; dropped mason a text asking him to run and grab you some toiletries, feed Ellis and changed him and grabbed a Starbucks for the next 40 minutes.

when you arrived outside of the training the only person there other than security was Reece who hobbled out the building on his crutches and attempted at un buckle baby's car seat, you giggled and pushed him out of the way. "Reece your knees fucked so dont be silly ive got him but you can hold him whilst i get the bags". he huffed and followed after you showing you the general living area where he sat on the couch waiting for you to pass Ellis over to him. eventually you learnt the boys wouldn't be back till after 9pm that night so you set up Ellis' pop up cot and put him down for his nap and began unpacking your stuff for the next two weeks in masons room. an hour passed and Ellis was still napping in the living room so you asked Reece to keep an eye on him whilst you ran into the gym and maybe had a dip in the pool, you hadn't even realised Reece's girlfriend Jamie had arrived but the both nodded and told you they would give you Ellis back in the morning.  

since giving birth you had been to the gym once so you decided since everyone here was in the gym all day you'd try and go everyday if not twice a day, so you pulled your England top off and popped on of masons gym t-shirts on, pulled your hair into a pony tail and washed your makeup off. After a 2 hour workout you were in desperate need off some kind off rest but the heated pool under the stars seemed to good to be true.  bikinis weren't something you were even before pregnancy so the only ones you had were tiny teeny string up the but ones but fortunately you managed to squeeze into one. by the time mason got back and got changed you'd swam the length of the pool at least 19 times and settled sat in the shallow end of the pool relaxing and staring at your flat stomach, remember back to last time you were here and you were 19 weeks pregnant. mason was just stood there watching you tear up realising how much your life has changed in some good ways and some bad ways, you never in a million years thought you would be here in a year but life has a way of surprising us sometimes in the best and worse ways. mason could tell you were deep in your thoughts so he never made a sound he just game and sat behind you placing a kiss on your shoulder and sucking on you neck leaving a large purple bruise on you neck.