Forgotten Bodyguard

Chapter 3 - Drunk Mind

Even with my drunk mind I kept thinking of her.

No amount of alcohol in my blood would wash away those memories we shared together. I never showed her my feelings. I was always stone cold and stern, and kept reminding her that I was only doing my job. Yet, she would always come to me and talk to me all the time, even if all she received in return was my gaze while I stood like a statue in my suit. Allie was my job. I was only there to protect her at her father's wish when she turned eighteen.

She was much younger than me. I was already twenty six, and although I was still young, I was more than capable of being her bodyguard if I needed to be. It wasn't my real job, yet I was assigned to do it for this beautiful, young woman so that I could get more information about her father for my boss.

I still remember her beautiful, beaming smile as she forced me to come out to the garden with her and tugged on my sleeve as I followed her.

The sun was shining at her pretty little face as she laughed, her long dark hair flowing freely with the wind.
"You should smile sometimes, Mr. Cold Guy. I know you want to." She said, and like every other time, she still waited patiently for me to answer, even though I never did. We were standing at the fountain, in the centre of the garden. Colourful flowers and roses surrounded us in a circle. She was wearing a short, figure-hugging summer dress, a white one with embroidered flowers on it. She looked like she belonged in this garden, her beauty matching the place. Allie was like an angel. I've never seen a woman so strikingly beautiful, inside and out. She had no faults. I was mesmerised in that moment, looking at her and admiring her.

That's when I made the worst mistake I could ever do as an agent.

I cupped her face with the palm of my hand and leaned down to kiss her gently on her plump lips. At first she was surprised, but she didn't reject me. Instead, she tangled her hands in my hair, standing on her tip toes and kissed me back. Our kiss became more heated as I craved her more. No words needed to be said between us. The world seemed to stand still, until after a minute of our passionate kissing I suddenly realised what I did. I pushed her away, like she was burning me and widened my eyes, mirroring hers, but hers turned into hurt and confused eyes just a moment later. I still wouldn't say anything. I couldn't show any more weakness around her. I couldn't let her develop feelings for me, and I couldn't have any feelings towards her myself. She was my job. It would only complicate things. My expression of shock was quickly replaced by a stone cold, narrowed gaze. I hid my emotions and looked down at her accusingly.

I remember her full of sorrow as tears started to form in her eyes.

"James..." She whispered, and looked between my eyes with a wavered gaze.

"Why did you push me away? Why are you looking at me like that again?" She said, as she took a step forward and tried to put the palm of her hand on my cheek gently. I stopped her before she touched me, and gripped her wrist tightly. She gasped.

"I am a man after all. I see what you tried to do with seduction. I have no interest in a little girl like you. Pretend this never happened." I said coldly. I lied through gritted teeth, which looked like I was angry at her. I was only angry at myself for ever going that far and losing my composure.

I released her wrist when she started crying, a sight I'll never erase from my mind. I ruined her beautiful smile, and I played with her feelings. My chest hurt from seeing her tears, but I had to ignore them.

I had to.

She stormed back into the empty house and cried herself to sleep in her bedroom. I know, because I was standing like a bodyguard should, just outside her door with my back towards it. I'd hurt the only woman who ever made me feel.

But she is just my job - I kept telling myself.

After a few hours of reminiscing about the past, I sobered up and realised that I'd lost control again and kissed her on her neck like an animal. If only she allowed me, I would have done more.

I was a fucking idiot.

Allie wasn't herself anymore. It's like I had another chance to make things right, but if only she remembered everything, she would not want to be anywhere close to me.

I'd hurt her too much.

I was battling with being her stone cold bodyguard, or myself around Allie. I didn't know what was best. I didn't deserve her, and it wasn't fair for me to act like I did. I also kept rejecting my feelings which surfaced whenever she was near me. I couldn't describe how I felt when I found her. I couldn't believe Allie was in my arms again.

I thought I'd lost her forever when she was gone for weeks. I failed to protect her and my heart felt like it shattered into pieces when I failed to find her.

Until that fateful night two days ago.

When I felt like I'd lost all hope after another day of searching, out of frustration I decided to take a long way home. I drove faster than the speed limit, and my knuckles were turning white on the steering wheel from my grip. I took a turn to a long, abandoned road with forests of trees on either side.

Not many people drove in this area.

It was dark, and the weather was terrible, but through the moonshine and my car lights I noticed someone walking on the side of the road, near the trees, so I slowed down to take a better look as I got closer.

Who would walk there at this hour, in the middle of nowhere in such weather conditions?

The woman turned around and looked at my approaching car. My eyes widened when the wind pushed her dark hair back, so I could start to see her face.

My car screeched to a halt, now in front of the woman.

It couldn't be. I was going mad from missing her. Allie was gone.

I stared at the woman for a few more seconds frozen in time, until I grabbed my gun in case of any danger around and carefully got out of the car. I never averted my gaze, until I could confirm that...

It was Allie.

I wanted to comfort her. I wanted to take her home, and tell her how much I missed her and how much I fucked up. My breathing picked up the pace as my chest heaved up and down. I felt emotional. I never thought I would find Allie again. I thought she was dead and gone.

Suddenly, I saw her panic. My instinct immediately told me she could have been in danger, and that she was scared of something. I reloaded my gun and looked around for any signs of anyone else.

But she ran.

Away from me.

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