Mad Mistletoe

Through the dark

Flames surround me. Ever higher they grow. Hotter and hotter. . . hotter.

"This is what you deserve sorcerer filth!" Arthur yells at me from the other side of the flames. What --

-- I'm tied to a pyre. No. No. No, what! When did Arthur find out about my magic? I can see all the knights laughing as I burn. Gwaine takes great glee in throwing a full tankard of mead at me, everyone 'oo-ing' as the flames burst upwards with the addition of the alcohol. They lick at my legs, reaching up towards my knees. Bubbling, blistering, burning.

I scream, and scream, and scream.

At the loss of my friends, at the betrayal, at the pain, at everything.

Salty tears rush down my face. They bring no relief.

My vision blackens once again, the flames and my friends fading away into nothing.

The burning feeling stays.

"Merlin," I hear a voice coo. Weary, I turn around. Wait, how am I still ali-- "Merlin!" The voice coos again.

"Arthur?" I ask when I see him appear in front of me, a warm smile on his face. "Arthur, what's going on?"

"Come here Merlin," Arthur beckons to me, leaning casually against his bed post, shirtless. Cautiously I walk towards him. "There is just something about you Merlin." He says over a sigh, bringing his hands to cup my face.

Butterflies rage in my stomach, battering against their cage. Arthur was so close. Face so close. I could count his eye lashes.

Slowly Arthur pulls my head towards his face. I stare down at his lips, glancing to his eyes every few seconds. This is what I had always craved, for Arthur to want me. For Arthur to even think of me like this, my heart soars.

Our lips are just about to brush together, ever closer they draw. I can feel our breaths mixing between us, warm, soothing heat. A sharp hot pain in my torso stops our progress. Gasping, I look down, only to find an ornate dagger has been plunged into my stomach, Arthur's hand still holding the hilt.

He whispers in my ear as red hot blood pours from the wound. "There is no place on this Earth for you sorcerer. No one to love you, no one to care. This has been a long time in coming, " Arthur's face morphs into Morgana's, evil smirk and all. "You're death, Merlin. Are you liking it, your own personal hell? "

Her cackles are heard as flames engulf me again, this time getting under my skin, into my body.

I see fire.

I try not to, but I scream.

∆∆∆ ∆∆∆

"Arf-r?" I hear Merlin whimper beside me, sweat still marring his brow. His brows furrow in confusion as I watch him. "No. No. No!" Merlin mumbles hoarsely, before his face contorts into another agonizing, soundless scream, coughing up blood once again.

"Giaus! Have you found anything in the magical text?!" I yell concernedly at the old man, who is currently pouring through ancient magical texts from the sealed, forbiden section of Camelot's library. I hadn't even known we had it. Just another thing my father has kept from me.

"I am trying my best, but these things take time."

"That's something we don't have!" I yell back, frantic. Merlin has been in this state for over half a day. He seems to be having nightmares, and terrible ones at that. Oh, I would take them away if I could. Take his place to stop his torment.

I can't though, that's the problem. I can't. All I can do is try and make him as comfortable as possible. Merlin is the last person to deserve this... this torture.

"Arthur, how is he?" Gwaine asks, bursting into the room, Lancelot close behind.

"He's getting worse I'm afraid. And we still have yet to find the cure." I reply solemnly, looking over to Giaus once again.

"We'll help look for it, right Lancelot?"

"Anything for Merlin." Sir Lancelot replies to Gwaine's question. I smile sadly at them both, shaking my head in disbelief. Merlin made friends of everyone didn't he?

"What about your knightly duties? I don't want you getting in trouble with the king, that's the last thing we need."

"Oh princess," Gwaine says with a smirk, "I told him that we went hunting with you, along with Sir Percival, Leon, and Elyan. They are out looking for whoever did this though, and doing some hunting so your father doesn't become suspicious,"

"No wonder the king hasn't been looking for me. Thank you both." I reply. Usually I wouldn't condone lying to the king, but there are exceptions, like saving Merlin.

"Now let's find this cure and get our Merlin back!" Gwaine rages, running over to Giaus and his books. Lancelot follows behind, turning to Merlin and I, he gives a slight nod of his head, frown marring his own face. Quietly all three talk and flip through pages of books. Every so often one of the three will sneak a glance at how Merlin is fairing, before turning back to searching the texts with a fierce determination.

I hold Merlin's limp hand the whole while. He's still here. He's going to be alright.

Tears escape Merlin's eyes in his latest nightmare, little choked sobs escaping his throat. Gently, I wipe them away, before whispering in his ear, "A dream Merlin, it's only nightmares. You're okay, you'll be okay."

He has to be.

∆∆∆ ∆∆∆

All around me my friends lie dead, killed by my own hand. My magic killed them. Mine.

Maybe I am a monster, I do deserve this darkness that keeps surrounding me. At least then I am alone, I can't hurt any more people I love. I can't hurt Arthur anymore.

His unmoving, cold corpse lies at my feet, cold eyes staring upwards into mine. What have I done!? Why would I hurt these people? Arthur? I love him, why would I- He is my destiny, mine to protect. I've failed, failed to protect my prince. I couldn't even protect him from myself.

What's happening to me?

I have to wake up, or am I awake? Are these terrible things actually happening to me? Does Arthur really hate me now, is he actually dead? Do the knights, are they? My best friends - no, my family, do they all want nothing to do with me? How am I supposed to protect them if they hate me, if they don't want to ever see me again, if they are dead?

They have all told me that countless times today. "Die sorcerer!" or "You're banished from this kingdom, never to return under penalty of death!" Also, maybe the worst, "You thought you could befriend us? A prince, knights, honourable men? No you cowardly peasant. Nothing but a servant, nothing more. Just a nobody. A sorcerer? A monster!"'

What was the point of living anymore if I was hated by all the people that I loved? All the people I cherished? How can I live like that? Am I even alive? I feel pain, the burning has never left, it's even increased. Am I dead? Am I already in Hell?

Faintly I hear a whispy, soothing, pleading voice in my ear, "A dream Merlin, it's only nightmares..."

∆∆∆ ∆∆∆

"I've found it!" Giaus yells excitedly, wrenching me from my thoughts of Merlin. "The mistletoe was used as an amplifier to the magic, a channel through which to make the spell more potent, more deadly."

"Well what is it Giaus? How do we cure Merlin?" I yell frantically, gripping Merlin's hand tighter in mine.

Grimly Giaus starts reading, "It's called The Kiss of Death."