Mended

15

Ethan's POV

My shoulders were stiff with tension as I followed Kaiden out to the balcony, leaving Izzy behind. He took a seat on one of the foldable chairs while I slipped into the other one, hesitantly glancing over at my brother.

I studied him briefly, noting the way his body was primed to run. His jaw was clenched with tension, and he refused to look at me. His demeanor made it obvious to me that he had no interest in being here, and that burned in a way I wished it didn't.

"No one is forcing you to be here," I snapped. Kaiden's gaze slanted over to meet mine; his charcoal grey eyes impassive. I bristled. "Go if you want."

"I do want to be here," he emphasized every word, his voice strained as he held my stare. I scoffed and looked away. "Why do you always assume the worst?"

"Can you blame me?" I muttered, reaching into my pocket to pull out a pack of cigarettes. I placed one between my lips as I lit it. "You said it yourself. I'm fucked up."

"That's not what I said." His response was immediate and sharp. I took a long drag, exhaling slowly as my lungs burned from the smoke. "Not that it fucking matters because you know I didn't mean any of it."

"Sure you didn't."

Kaiden released a long breath. I gazed off into the distance, staring at the city lights flickering ahead of us. The sound of traffic filled the momentary silence around us. "Ethan, I'm sorry," Kaiden spoke again, his voice quiet yet still slightly restrained. "I said what I knew would hurt you because what you said did. That doesn't mean it was true."

I lazily glanced over at him, searching his tense face. I could tell that being vulnerable like this was difficult for him because it was the same for me. Talking to Sophia had been one of the hardest nights of my life, and what I'd said to her had barely even covered the surface of what I truly felt like each and every day.

The effort it took to get out of bed every morning was reaching new heights. Exhaustion was a constant in my life; nothing could cure it anymore and I'd given up on trying to.

There was no point now.

"It's fine," I brushed him off, taking another drag as I shrugged. "I said a pretty fucked up thing to you. I deserved it."

"You didn't," Kaiden gritted out. "And why don't you stop with the I deserved it shit already? I'm tired of hearing you say that when you know it isn't true."

I smiled wryly, shaking my head. "It's fine, Kai. We don't need to have a heart to heart, alright? We're good. I forgive you."

I started to leave, but his voice stopped me. "Sit down."

My eyebrows rose. "What?"

Kaiden's eyes were like steel as he motioned to the chair. "I said; sit down. We're not done."

I groaned as I sat back down. "What now?"

"Do you believe me when I say I didn't mean it?" He asked, his gaze never leaving mine. "And don't bullshit me, kid. I know you better than you think I do."

"I believe you when you say you didn't mean it," I answered flatly. "Doesn't mean what you said isn't true."

"It isn't," he replied, his voice leaving no room for argument. "There's proof all around you. Has anybody given up on you? Given up on trying to help you?" He didn't let me reply. "No, we haven't. Nobody's left your side. You get on everyone's nerves every damn day with that bratty attitude of yours, but nobody has given up on you."

I glared at him and he chuckled, settling back in his seat. He shook his head, running a hand through his dark hair.

"See? You're getting angry, aren't you? You're pissed because you know I'm right and you know there's nothing you can say to tell me I'm wrong. You just can't admit it."