Mended

20

Izzy's POV

I couldn't stop crying.

Maybe Caleb couldn't either.

I didn't know. I couldn't see. I couldn't feel anything aside from this agony that had started small, but now it was building and crushing and suffocating me in ways I'd never believed pain could again. It was unbearable. I couldn't breathe; there wasn't enough oxygen in the air around me for my lungs to work properly.

My dad. My dad. My dad. My dad. My dad.

I didn't want to breathe. This hurt too much.

Letting them hate me for something I'd never done was easier than admitting the truth.

Strong arms wrapped around my frame. Caleb pressed his face into my neck and I felt his tears on my skin, mixing with my own. I didn't know if I was the one trembling or if it was him. I didn't know. Everything hurt too much.

My dad.

I don't want them to know. I can't tell them. How do I tell them?

My dad.

Elena and Freya looked exactly alike, but I'd always been able to tell them apart.

But I was drunk. I was hurt. I was tired.

My chest hurt so badly. I tried opening my mouth, tried telling Caleb that something was wrong with me and I needed help. I was having a heart attack. I couldn't breathe.

I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know.

"Dad— " a sob escaped my lips as I buried my face further in Caleb's chest, the letter clutched in my quivering hand. Caleb's arms tightened around me. "Dad didn't know it wasn't Mom—"

Elena pretended to be Freya.

My dad. He'd done everything for us; given us the entire world ever since we'd been brought into the world. My dad. He'd read me bedtime stories and put me on his shoulders whenever I'd asked. He'd held me when I'd had nightmares. He'd taken me ice skating whenever I'd asked.

He'd died thinking we all hated him.

But we hadn't known this truth. He'd never been given the chance to tell us.

"Caleb," I cried against his chest, unable to say anything else. The pain was vicious as it lashed out at me, hurting every part of my body; my mind.

Sorry. I wanted to tell my dad that I was sorry.

I was sorry that this had happened to him. Sorry that his own children had hated him until the very end. Sorry that he had to watch my mom suffer because of something she believed he'd done.

I was sorry that he'd never gotten all the good that he deserved. I needed to tell him.

But I couldn't.

He was gone and I couldn't tell him.

The realization that he would never know was crippling. A new wave of devastation flooded my chest and I curled up further, wishing I could disappear to a place where nothing could ever hurt me again.

A place where my mom and dad were still here. A place where my family hadn't suffered the way we had.

A place where my dad knew that we loved him more than we'd ever been given the chance to show him.

"I didn't know," I sobbed. Everything ached; my heart, my mind, my body, my spirit.

"I know," Caleb's voice was just as broken as I felt as he croaked, his face pressed against my neck. I felt his tears. "I know, Izzy."