Mended

41

Izzy's POV

I could barely see past my tears as I rushed around the room, picking up all my clothes and mindlessly shoving them into the duffel bag I'd tossed onto the bed. From the corner of my eye, I registered Julian hovering around, his concern radiating off of him in waves as he watched me stumble through our hotel room.

"Isa," his husky voice was soft as he attempted to stop me once more. "Can you come here please?"

I ignored him, my hands trembling so hard I could barely close the zipper. A frustrated grunt left my mouth and more tears filled my eyes as I started pulling harder at it. Julian reached me in two steps, his fingers wrapping around my wrist. I paused and let him remove my hand. He gently pushed me to the side and zipped up the bag, before throwing it over his shoulder.

Finally, I gained the strength to meet his azure gaze. A multitude of emotions stared back at me; concern, fear, but most prominent of all—love.

"Let me, okay? I won't be able to drive with you in this state," he said quietly. "Not with you breaking down like this next to me. I need you to take a moment to breathe."

My jaw trembled but I clamped my lips shut, staring at him through watery eyes. My hands clenched and unclenched by my sides, my brother's voice rushing through my head.

I love you so much, you know that?

"We have to go," I choked out. "You need to drive as fast as possible, please, please— "

Julian stepped forward and lifted his strong hands to cup my face, his thumbs bracing my jaw. "At this rate, you're going to have a panic attack," he murmured. "I need you to stop and breathe, love. Just for a few moments."

"I can't— " I couldn't suck in enough air. My chest felt like it was constricting; threatening to shrink until it turned my heart into dust.

"Just try," he interrupted me, his voice firm. "I'll drive as fast as I can, but first, I need you to be okay."

For his sake and for Ethan's, I did as he said. It took a moment, but I managed to remember Mariam's advice on what to do when I felt like this. I needed to close my eyes and breathe as I tried to isolate myself from everything I struggled with. Even if it only lasted a few seconds—anything was fine.

A few moments passed before my eyes flew open. Julian still held me, his thumb grazing my cheekbone.

"Alright?" He murmured.

I swallowed hard. "As much as I can be."

Considering the circumstances we'd been thrown into after Ethan's phone call, this answer seemed to be enough for Julian to let me go. His hand slipped down my arm until it reached my fingers. 

Julian's hold was strong around me as he led me out of the empty room and out of the hotel. He helped me get settled into the passenger seat of the car, buckling my seatbelt for me as if he knew I was incapable of being a normally functioning human being right now.

In a daze, I turned to look at him. Julian brushed my hair behind my ear and leaned forward, pressing his lips against my jaw. I closed my eyes at the comforting sensation, my throat constricting.

"He'll be okay," he whispered against the side of my head before he squeezed my leg and shut the door.

I let my eyes fall shut as my head rested against the seat. I curled my legs up against my chest, digging my fingers into my skin. The car rocked as Julian began driving. At some point through the drive, his hand reached over and fell on top of my leg. Mindlessly, I placed my hand over his, squeezing in silent gratitude.