This one is for you - Charles Leclerc ff. (In English)

• chapter 13

I've read hundreds of novels in my life, most of them claiming that love was the center of the universe. That it could heal any damage inside of us. That it was what we need to survive. From Darcy to Heathcliff I tought they were fools. That love was something fictional, only found in worn pages of a book. But all that has changed since I met my Elizabeth Bennet. I never thought I would find myself completely and utterly consumed by another until her. She took my hand and lead me out of the darkness and showed me that, whatever our souls are made for hers and mine are the same. You once asked me who I loved most in this world, it's you.

This is for those who have already been broken into a million pieces and still managed to be strong.

They say there's nothing more painful than having your old scars ripped open. They are lying. It hurts even more when new ones are carved in place of the old ones. The place of it already healed begins to bleed again. And it just bleeds and bleeds and bleeds. And you can't do anything about it. No matter how hard you try to survive, you are so helpless, you might not even be able to move.

I never thought that I would be influenced by the words of a certain boy, as much as my legs give up and scream when they collapse on the cold floor. There was only a knock, it was my knees. It let me know that I'm down again. I tried so hard to let everyone know that I am strong, that I can survive everything, but it didn't work. And now I'm sitting here alone, and the silence is only broken by my bitter crying. I thought he loved me. Maybe it was all just a show? Did he bet with someone? Did he bet that he would wait until I fall in love with him so much that even breathing is impossible without him, and then tell me that it was nothing? Or am I just overthinking it? It doesn't matter, because my train of thought is interrupted by the sound of the door opening. The curly-haired Belgian-British boy enters, searches me with his eyes for a second, and when he settles on me, a different mood settles on his face. Maybe...sorry? No, I don't want that. I don't want them to feel sorry. I can pull myself together, it just takes a little time. Lando starts to approach me, he suddenly crouches down next to me. I would push him away, but I notice that all the strength is gone from me. I can't move. The boy sits down, pulls him into his lap and starts to quiet me.

-It's okay! I'm here, it's okay!-he repeats.

-How could he do this?-I shout, but my voice is muffled. Before long, Rick also appears in a hurry at the door. He looks at me. I can't present a good view, my mascara must have smeared, my hair is a mess.

-Where is he?-he asks tensely, before I snuggle even closer to Lando. The curly shrugs as Rick rushes out. A lot of things are going through my mind. Would I be here if Lando hadn't pulled me out of my room that day? What would have happened if I just stayed at home?

Why did I want that fucking blonde prince?

The clock strikes six. I look at my bed where my suitcase is ready to travel. I'm flying home tomorrow morning. I had to make this decision, I had no other choice. Lando didn't want to let me go, but I was too stubborn. I'll meet the others today, then I'll go to sleep and when I get up I can leave. This is not how I imagined France. The place itself was nice, but Charles and his words ruined the overall picture. I put my suitcase on the cold floor and went to my closet to put on some wearable yet comfortable clothes before saying goodbye to everyone. It shouldn't be such a big deal, but the problem is that I can't let someone break me. I don't have the energy, time or patience for that. I can't allow it and I know that if I stay here, the boy and I will still see each other, so I have to go. I took out a pair of gray Nikes, then my white AF1s and headed down the stairs straight to Mick's room, because we agreed to meet everyone there. Before entering the room, I wiped my face and took a deep breath and knock on the door.

-Hi Sarah!- smiled Mick, then let me in. I returned the smile and enter, everyone was there except for Charles.

-Hello!- I said, when wveryone wrapped their arms around me and looked confused, with the exception of Lando and George, who alread, knew in advance what awaits them in a few seconds.-So...I called everyone together to tell you that I'm going home.-I said, and everyone's eyes widened.- And there's a high probability that I won't come back again.-I sighed.

-What? But why?-Esteban worried, and the cold ran through my body.

-Well..As many of you know, me and Charles were a couple.-I said, but despite my great efforts, my voice broke. My eyes were already wet with tears, I took a desperate breath.-So um, yesterday he said that-I said this while crying.-He said that it didn't mean anything to him and then he ran away.-I buried my eyes in my hands, my crying was as bitter as Charles' words the night before. There was silence in the room. I was completely closed in the depth of my palm when I felt an arm on me. I looked up to see Mick's supportive smile. Suddenly, the others started moving one by one and at the end there was a huge group hug, while I cried on their shoulders.-I am so...-I sniffed.-I am so grateful to you! Thanks. Thank you!-I said the last word already in a whisper, but this is how I thought every single word I uttered. These boys really meant a lot to me, even though I never thought in my life that I would ever have so many friends who weren't just any friends. Time passed, I said goodbye to everyone for the last time, and then I returned to my room. I looked in my closet one last time to make sure I didn't leave anything there, then I sat down on the bed. For about 10 minutes I just sat and looked ahead, completely alone in the silence. I was wondering what I could have missed or what I could have done differently when my thoughts were interrupted by a knock. I walked to the door and after taking a deep breath I opened my door. Lewis was standing in front of me.-Hi.-I greeted him.-Can I help you with something?-I asked softly, and the boy smiled.

-Hi, I came to you. Can I go inside?- he looked at me, and I moved away so that the mentioned boy could enter. He hopped onto my bed and patted the bed next to him for me to sit down. I looked at her curiously, I didn't know what he was up to.-You know Sarah, you are a very strong girl. But everyone has weak points or maybe days. I'm not going to tell you to stay and not go, because you clearly had a compelling reason why you made this decision and you feel it's the best. But I only want to ask you for one thing.-said the boy, and I nodded to let him know that he could continue.-Don't fall into another pile. Don't let others influence you. As I said, you are a very strong girl. Hold on, I know you can do it!-he said, then hugged me and jumped up. He stopped at the door for a moment, then turned back and looked into my eyes.-Don't let your limits define you!-he said, and then he was gone. My eyes welled up with tears again, but as I promised Lewis this, even if without words, I had enough strength in me not to let a single tear fall. I looked at the clock, which showed half past nine, so I walked and went to bed. I remember I thought about Charles when the dream finally suppressed me.

I woke up to a loud knock. The clock showed that it was three in the morning, yet someone was knocking on my door. Annoyed, I walked to the door, but when I saw who was standing there, I was completely shocked. Charles was standing there, his eyes were full of tears, it looked like he had been crying for a while. My heart let out a loud cry before it burst again.

-He's dead.-said the boy, his mouth trembling. I suddenly didn't understand what he said, so I asked him back.

-Charles, what happened?

-Sarah...He's dead.-he put his trembling hand to his mouth, tears just fell from his eyes.

-Charles, what are you talking about?-I asked back worriedly, squeezing his shoulders between my hands.

-He came after me and drove too fast. And another car drove into it and...-the boy was sobbing as I took his face in my hands.

-Who? Who died?-I asked, and I knew in advance that this would be difficult.

-Rick..Rick is dead Sarah!-As the boy said his name, another huge hole formed in my heart. This can't happen. I looked at Charles and saw in his sparkling eyes that he was telling the truth. A tear fell from my eyes, I felt a little dizzy, and then I looked at Charles again. I thought about what the next few years would be like. He will fall apart on his own.

-Come here!-I spread my arms, and the boy immediately hugged me. He cried as loudly in my arms as I cried in Lando's. I led him to the bed and laid him down. He clung to my chest and just cried bitterly. I couldn't stand it, the tears just fell from my eyes as if they were being poured from a tub.

-RICK IS DEAD.- shouted the boy.