Faithless

Chapter 3

My tremors were worse that day, as I sat restlessly through every class with that inhuman hunger pestering me incessantly. I tapped my pencil on the desk, trying my hardest to focus throughout English class but failing miserably. The day somehow passed through me without me noticing, and Avery was staring at me. I'm sure some other kids in the class were as well, but Avery's gaze was the strongest.

"Are you alright?" she said in a hushed whisper.

The sudden sound of her voice made me jump, and I slammed the pencil down on the table in surprise. I swallowed carefully, turning to look at her. "Yes, I'm fine. I'm... fine."

She pointed at my hands. "You're shaking a lot."

"It's a condition. I have... I have tremors." I wasn't sure what was making it so hard for me to articulate my sentences properly, and then tried to remember whether I'd taken my meds that morning.

"Oh, I see." It took a moment before Avery looked away, her eyebrows pinched together in a frown. "If you're sure."

I leaned my head on the desk, my heartbeat pounding in my head. I'd never felt this way before, my head spinning and my hands to my arms shaking wildly. Trying to keep myself still only made it hurt even more, so I was stuck with my jittering body. The worst part was the hunger. I'd never felt hunger like this, so persistent, so present that I couldn't focus. And then the words of the crow from the night before returned to me: "There is just one thing I need from you."

The bell rang and I shot up from my seat, knocking my chair over behind me. Harold looked at me, along with the rest of the class, and he said, "Looks like someone's excited for the three day weekend." The class produced a shared chuckle before starting to rise from their desks and gathering their things together. "Don't forget your reading. It should be done by monday."

I hurriedly shoved my things into my backpack and messily shoved my chair back into its place. I only stopped when Avery grabbed my sleeve. She looked up at me with that meek look she held in her eyes the day before. "What?" I said, more harshly than I intended.

"Are you busy today?"

"I'm going with Hannah to the music store." It was difficult to not stumble over my words. "You can come along, if you want."

Her grip fell from my arm and she lowered her gaze. "No thanks. I'm alright. We can hang out... some other time." I stared at her for another moment, but I couldn't remain still for long and I hurried out of the classroom.

Hannah was waiting outside with Nancy, like she always was, and I quickly tapped her on the shoulder. Turning around with an unamused look on her face, she said, "Hey, what's up?"

"You ready to go?" I said quickly.

She sighed. "Right." Waving at Nancy, she said, "See you at my place tomorrow, right?"

Nancy, still looking at me with her signature glare, replied, "Yeah, see you then."

Hannah hooked her arm around mine and we headed off away from the school. It was sunny that day, which certainly helped with my anxiety. But still, I could tell that Hannah was bothered by my constant trembling, since she eventually let go of me. She didn't say anything, but I caught her eyeing my hands that would not remain still. I instinctively shoved my hands in my pockets, which was what I always did whenever my tremors were this bad, but it didn't help that it was in my arms as well.

The music store was in the town center, a street with shops and restaurants and a small cinema that were all often frequented by the kids at my school. In the store, I didn't feel any better, but I was glad to have a distraction, looking through the records with Hannah by my side. We were digging through the rock section, looking for the album that she mentioned the day before.

Hannah lifted up a record with a printed hand on the cover, looking as though it were about to grab something. "I went to see this band with my dad in the city last month. They're pretty new. I don't like them though." She dropped the record back into its place.

"What's the band?" I asked.

"System of A Down, if I remember correctly. Their music is too weird for me."

I picked up the record and stuck it under my arm, considering buying it for myself. I hadn't listened to much music in the past couple years, due to lack of ample selection, so I figured it was time to try something new.

Hannah held up another record out of the rock section. "Do you think my brother would like a Nirvana record?" She stuck it under her arm without waiting for an answer. "They're that band from Seattle. I'm gonna get it for him."

I sighed, shrugging my shoulders. "I've never heard of them."

She looked over at me. "You don't know anyone." Her gaze went back to the shelf and her eyes lit up. "Oh, here's the Hole album." She dug a record out of its spot and looked at the cover for a moment. The cover art depicted the band in front of something burning behind them in monochrome. The title, "Celebrity Skin" was printed crisply on the top.

I followed Hannah to the checkout desk and paid for our records. While I did, she popped a piece of bubblegum into her mouth and started chewing it as we walked outside. She took the bag with her records inside and patted me on the shoulder.

"I don't need you to walk me home today," she said. "Thanks for the records, I'll see you at my place tomorrow, yeah?"

I nodded. "Yeah, sure."

Hannah smiled slightly before heading in the opposite direction from me. I watched her until she was gone and then turned to head home. As I walked along the street through my quiet neighborhood, I could not ignore the murder of crows watching me from above.