Faithless

Chapter 6

I don't know when or how, but I was standing outside of Hannah's house once again under a freezing full moon night. In a sleepwalking daze, where my actions hardly felt like my own, I made my way up to her front porch and forced the lock open with a screwdriver. The door came open so easily, and the dark house carried a stark contrast to the liveliness it had earlier that day. The stairs did not creak as I walked up them, slowly making my way back into her bedroom.

She lay peacefully in her bed, her body covered with her light pink sheets that appeared white in the pale moonlight. I wasn't sure how she managed to look so perfect, even as she slept. The screwdriver fell from my hands, and she stirred slightly as I walked over to her bedside. In a half asleep daze, she looked up at me with an absent-minded gaze.

"Jay...?" she sighed. "Is that... you...?"

I didn't answer her, and even if I tried, it wasn't like I had anything to say. And besides, she wasn't fully conscious anyway. None of it mattered.

"I'm... sosorry," Hannah said, her words blending together. "About Darren... it was... so... impulsive." She closed her eyes again. "I like you... but I love him even more..."

I tilted my head slightly, mildly taken by surprise. I wouldn't have ever thought that Hannah liked me. Not with the way she talked or the way she treated me in the past. At most, I assumed she remained in the relationship out of pity and utility. But not because she ever liked me.

"Open the window."

I turned my head to see the crow from before sitting on my shoulder, where I hadn't noticed it before. It was focused on the sleeping form of Hannah, though with the coldness in its eyes, I knew it did not care for the girl, but only for the girl's body.

Compliantly, I unlocked the window above Hannah's bed and pulled it open. Though she was sleeping, a shiver crept through her body and she settled deeper into her sheets. On the tree outside, crows had been waiting patiently on the bare branches. When the window swung open, they all flew inside, gathering in the bedroom in a flurry of wings and feathers.

If anything was going to wake her up, this would be it. Her eyes flew open as a feather drifted down to her nose, waking her up with a quiet sneeze. Hannah looked up and around at us, staring in utter disbelief. No words escaped her opened mouth, and it was better that way.

"We're just waiting on you," the crow said to me. "Your decision."

I understood what the crow meant without it explaining anything further. In one wretched gesture, I said, "Eat."

All of the crows in the room followed my words immediately. They dove towards Hannah, lying vulnerable in her bed, and feasted. Beaks and talons ripped and tore her flesh apart, all while she screamed and hollered in agony. I could hardly see through the blur of feathers, but I could see enough. The way her tongue ripped from her mouth, the way beaks penetrated her irises, and the way her screams were soon silenced as she began to choke on her own blood.

When the flurry calmed down and the crows peacefully ate their pound of flesh, I got a good look at Hannah's mutilated corpse. Her torso was ripped open, red insides exposed to the cold open air. A long wound extending down the front of her face, in between her eyeless sockets, exposed the white bone of her skull. Her skin clinged loosely to her muscles while birds tore away more pieces. Bits of her brain leaked from her empty eye sockets, and more crows licked it up in between their beaks.

I leaned over her corpse, and slowly lifted a piece of her body into my hands. As I set it in my mouth, chewing slowly and swallowing the flesh soaked in blood, realization set upon me. So I ate alongside the crows, consuming the dead corpse of the girl, slurping up her blood with it. And my hunger was finally satiated.

The following morning, I awoke in the dark of my room. For a moment, I was once again ready to dismiss the night's events as a dream. But with clumps of dried blood covering my hands and crusted around my fingernails, I could not have that luxury. When I saw my blood-soaked clothes and face when I looked in the mirror, it took everything I had to keep myself from screaming in terror. I crumpled to the ground in my bedroom, back to the floor-length mirror in my closet door.

Hyperventilating, and gripping the sides of my head, I wanted so badly for this to be a horrible nightmare that I could just wake up from. But no matter how many times I wished for it, closing and opening my eyes, waiting for it to all go away, nothing happened. This was my reality. I'd killed and eaten someone, and it felt good.

The tapping at my window began once again, and I knew instantly what it was that was there. Unable to ignore it, I pushed myself to my feet and walked over to my desk. I pushed the curtains open, letting in the pale morning light. On the bare tree branches sat the red eyed crow from the night before. Wordlessly, I opened the window to let it in. The crow fluttered to the front of my desk, and I slumped down into my chair.

I stared at the bird for a moment and then let out a long sigh. "That was real, wasn't it? We really killed someone?"

The crow nodded. "Yes. Yes we did."

I couldn't stop the pained laugh that escaped my chest. "Why? Just... why?"

"I asked you for nourishment, and that's exactly what you gave me. Part of our deal." It lowered its head and gently touched its beak to my hands. "And I gave you what I promised."

It wasn't until then that I realized there were no tremors in my hands. Even relaxing, there had always been some persistent twitching that I couldn't get rid of. But now, they were completely still in such a way that I wasn't used to for so long. I opened and closed my hands slowly and then looked back at the bird.

"So I'm guessing there's no going back, then."

"No, there isn't."

I leaned on my arms, staring at the crow sitting still on my desk. "What's your name?" I asked.

"I do not have one. It doesn't matter whether I do or don't anyway. Names lose their meaning with time."

"But I still need something to call you," I said.

The crow was silent for another moment. "If you insist. One of my first names was Krieth. That is how you may address me."

"Krieth," I repeated. "How does this really work?"

"I think you've noticed by now that your human food no longer satisfies you. That is a result of you no longer being human."

I sat up in surprise. "'No longer human'? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Krieth watched me with his surprisingly patient eyes. "Judging by your use of profanity, you must not have been expecting this."

"No, of course I fucking haven't. What do you mean by that?"

There was a hint of amusement I caught in the crow's expressionless eyes, and he simply dipped his head. "You will know in time what it really means. Now please, let me continue."

I crossed my arms and bit back anything in response. I knew by then it was better to listen than keep interrupting, as much as I wanted to.

"Now you must sustain yourself on human flesh, far more infrequently than humans need to sustain themselves. You continue to feed yourself and your crows, and you'll be granted health, physical prowess, and immortality. What many humans dream of for so long, only to die before ever achieving it."

"So why me?" I asked. "Why did you pick me and not anyone else?"

"Interest. Curiosity. Practicality. A human who hates humanity is a fascinating subject."

"I don't... I don't hate humanity."

Krieth tilted his head. "But you do. In your heart, you do. Unhappy among family, friends, even within your own self. You will benefit the most from me than all of my other options would have. For as long as you are willing to feed me, you will flourish." He turned to leave, readying his wings. "Do not worry about the girl's death. You are far from the first person anyone will suspect."

Krieth took off, departing from my window and disappearing into the sky. I stared up after him, considering everything that he told me. "No longer human..." I whispered to myself. I closed the window and stood up from my chair. It was time to wash this blood off my hands.