Orv oneshots

Missing you

(Listen to the song while playing, The idea is from it)

..

The night was young and Kim Dokja was lamenting, away from everything nice and the stars that lit up the sky. No, he was in his own dark room, hidden away from the world being in the mercy of his curtains that refused to rustle or move even an inch, to reveal the dim glow of the moon and the bright stars splattered on the dark blue painted canvas called the sky.

He felt dizzy, was it the alcohol? He thought as he walked down to the first floor of his house and oh how it felt empty, his skin felt cold due to a lack of warmth that would usually come from the kitchen. The room was dim and his head filled with all sorts of unnecessary thoughts.

'Is he ok? How long has it been since he properly ate? I miss his cooking..too bad I won't get to try it any time soon.'

He shook his head to stop thinking, it didn't work, they were too powerful. His legs gave out as he kneeled onto the ground, fingers clutching onto locks of his black hair that probably needed a good wash. His hands travelled down to the back of his neck, digging into it with his nails to an almost painful degree and it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to make him understand he probably felt worse and alot more in pain than he did.

'I miss him' He thought to himself, holding onto every bit of his strength to not let the tears roll down, eyes blinking several times.

'I miss him' His thoughts repeated in a sad voice, was he imagining that? The voice in his head sounded just as sad as him, was it repenting? Did it feel regretful and upset, just like he did?

He knew always what to say and did the right yet wrong thing. He talked him out of things that could possibly ruin him and he was always there, and Kim Dokja was there for him too or so it seemed.

He was nagging, caring and seemingly indifferent but Kim Dokja knew that he payed attention, indifference was just an exterior cover he put up to protect himself, he found it endearing but it wasn't so endearing anymore.

'Why couldn't he be truthful? I would've listened.. he must've been too hurt. Was it something I did?'

The way he said his name with his deep voice was soothing, like chocolate dipped in strawberries, it felt right in all ways and he craved for it, he enjoyed every minute of it.

"Kim Dokja, Thank you." What was he thanking him for? He hadn't done anything worth his thanks.

"I need you Kim Dokja." Yet I wasn't there when you needed me the most, when you were alone in your room, clutching onto that rope like it meant everything.

"You're a fool, Kim Dokja." He said with a rare chuckle and a humorous glint in his eyes but the fondness in his stare was not left unnoticed by him.

"I love you, Dokja-ya." He felt an almost shadow-like presence hugging him as if he was there right now, he wasn't. He wasn't here and he knew it and he hated it, he wanted him just as much as he needed him.

He held firmly onto his black coat that reminded him of his boyfriend. It hurt so much.

"Your boyfriend misses you, Yoo Joonghyuk." He said with a sad laugh, "He misses you so very much." His laugh was bitter and regretful, yet it held a sliver of pain. So many of his emotions where suppressed in a laugh when in reality, a scream would be the right way to portray him.

"I miss you, Yoo Joonghyuk."

His boyfriend was the best, he didn't deserve the world. He was too late and he left too soon, too early. Yoo Joonghyuk was someone he could confide in and he felt that the latter would feel the same way, but it seems that wasn't the case.

The warmth in his life, the kitchen was almost never empty and something was cooking, mostly hot dishes, because of him and nights felt much better with him.

The black to his white, the gift he had presented that gave him confidence, a simple coat which meant the world and every star to him.

His love, not even pictures could do him justice, one would have to see him for themselves to truly understand that he was the definition of "an artist's pride" and Kim Dokja was the artist, he was his love and pride.

He who didn't have to be perfect and deserved all of Kim Dokja's love, trust, appreciation and so.

His everything who he'd give anything, yet he couldn't be there for him. He wasn't trusted enough for him to tell the truth, how he felt about himself.

The sight of Yoo Joonghyuk's room that used to be their happy place where they did everything good and bad, was left empty on a sad note.

A small slip of paper, a letter along with himself who was laying limp in the air his feet barely touching the ground, along with a stool pushed away onto the side, the rope's threads holding onto his neck and his body tightly.

"I'm sorry. Thank you, for everything." written in the letter in black ink, his favourite colour and a fold on the edge, almost as if it was being crumpled.

"I miss you Joonghyuk-ah." He broke down with a small feeble voice.

"I miss you so much Joonghyuk-ah." Kim Dokja fell to the ground, curling himself into a ball, tears streaming down his face.