My Darling Wife

1

Sunnyvale. A small rural town nestled down in the rolling hills of Scotland. Zoro and Sanji felt quite out of place in the small town. "Why do I have to be the wife?" Sanji whispered harshly to his partner. "Because your physique makes you pass off as a woman." Zoro replied gruffly. "I can't breathe, and these heels are killing me." Whined the blond. "You can take them off once we get to our destination. Now shut up!" Sanji rolled his eyes and noticed a fat man approaching them. "That must be the realtor." Sanji gestured to the man. Zoro simply nodded and put on a fake act.

"You must be the Roronoas! It is so good to finally meet you in person!" The fat man said with a thick, cheerful Scottish accent. "That we are. I'm Zoro and this is my wife, Sanji." Zoro held out a hand and the fat man shook it. "My my, you've got yerself a beautiful lass." The man ogled Sanji. The blond stiffened at this. "Yes. I do." Zoro growled slightly. The fat man looked back at the green haired man and smiled. "Shall we go to your new home?" He asked and began walking towards a car. "I feel violated." Sanji growled and stalked towards the car. Sanji's ass caught Zoro's attention, and he couldn't help but stare. "Oi, Marimo!" Sanji snapped, and the greenette quickly followed.

The car ride was pretty short, but very uncomfortable. Sanji could feel the fat man's eyes on him constantly. Zoro was simply pissed off by it. They soon came upon a small two story house. With the car parked in the driveway, the two men scrambled out. Sanji quickly fixed his skirt so the fat man wouldn't get a look at anything. "Home sweet home!" The realtor exclaimed with a smile. "All the furniture is there, you'll just have to arrange it how you want." He added and handed three house keys to Zoro. "Welcome to Sunnyvale. You'll find the people here to be quite pleasant. Everything is within walking distance, but the nearest major town is about an hour away." Zoro nodded and looked at Sanji. He was constantly shifting on his feet, and he was slightly sucking on his nail. That was the first sign that he needed a cigarette. If he didn't smoke soon, then he would start to feel agitated and figidty. "Thank you for all your help. We feel right at home already." Zoro told the realtor, and then he pulled Sanji into him by the waist. "Isn't that right, lovely?" He purred and Sanji nodded with a fake smile. "Well, I'll be off now, I cannae imagine how much unpacking you two have." The realtor waved goodbye before he drove off. Sanji shoved Zoro away from him, and irritability stalked towards the front door. "Open the damn door so I can get out of this fucking corset and these damn heels!" He snapped at his now laughing partner.

The inside of the house was quite roomy. The entryway opened up into an open concept living room that led into a big gourmet kitchen. Behind the kitchen was an opening that led into a dining room. In the far left corner away from the entry of the dining room were stairs that led upstairs. From the kitchen facing the living room there were two French doors that led to the backyard on the right. To the left there was a small powder room. Sanji quickly kicked off his heels and rushed to the kitchen. "This is amazing! So much counter and cabinet space! Is this marble granite? Please tell me this is marble granite!" Sanji looked like a kid on Christmas. "How the hell would I know?" Zoro scoffed and walked over to the tarp covered furniture in the living room. "Give me my bag, I'm going upstairs to change into some more comfortable clothes." The blond demanded with his hand held out. His hip was popped out and his free hand was rested on it. "Go grab it yourself, dart brow." Zoro said nonchalantly. He pulled the tarp off of the couch and folded it. Sanji rolled his eyes and went to the entryway to grab his luggage. That was when the doorbell rang.