Always You - A Second Chance Romance

Chapter 11

Luke pulled out a chair for me and I sat down at the high top table. He had picked out a modern restaurant for dinner before my breakdown. He had offered to change the reservation to something more quiet but the drone of voices and music was comforting to me.

Luke sat down across from me and flipped through the drink menu quickly before ordering a whiskey. I ordered a margarita and our waitress left us to look over the menu. I scanned the menu quickly before deciding on some fish. When I looked up, Luke was looking at me intently.

"What?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"Nothing," he said with a shrug. "You look nice." I half smiled.

"Thanks," I replied. Silence fell between us and I fidgeted with my purse before pulling my phone out. A text from Nick flashed across my screen and the ball in my throat grew. I swallowed hard, blinking away tears. I couldn't bear to open it.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Luke asked as if reading my mind. I tore my eyes away from my my phone's Lock Screen.  I put my phone in my purse and shook my head. The waitress came by with our drinks and we ordered our food. I took a large gulp of my margarita, hoping it would slow my erratic heartbeat.

"Where did you work before?" I asked Luke in an attempt at normal conversation.

"I was designing at Lululemon," he said. "It was alright." I nodded.

"What about you?" He asked me.

"I was at Sony for awhile," I said. I had gotten my job there about a year before things between Luke and I ended.

"Oh," he said, his mind connecting the dots as well. "I'm glad you liked it there."

"It was a chill place to work," I said. "I've been on Chris' team for 4 years now." Luke nodded, taking a sip of his whiskey.

"You like it?" Luke asked me. I nodded.

"Chris is a good boss, he makes working for him easy," I said. Luke nodded again. The conversation fell flat and my stomach turned. My eyes scanned the restaurant, avoiding Luke at every chance. It was unlike us to have lulls in conversation, or at least ones that felt this uncomfortable. But maybe the time apart had changed us. Maybe this is normal for who we are today.

"Emily," Luke said softly. I looked back at him and raised my eyebrows. He opened his mouth to continue but the waitress came by with our food. She set our plates down before disappearing. I picked up my fork and poked at my fish, taking a small bite. It tasted good but my appetite was gone still. I set my fork down and looked up at Luke. Luke took a large bite of his burger before clearing his throat and taking a sip of his whiskey once more.

"I need to apologize," he said. "What I did was... it was unacceptable. I really have no words to express how much it has haunted me all these years. Hurting you was my biggest fear and somehow I managed to do it twice, and in the worst way possible. I had everything I could have ever asked for in my entire life, and I blew it all."

It felt like my heart stopped beating as I listened to Luke talk. Everything I had felt, everything I had held onto for almost 12 years boiled up inside me and then withered away slowly as his words sank in. My hands trembled under the table as he continued.

"I will never, ever, forgive myself for what I did. But I hope that you will eventually forgive me. Cheating on you in any way was the worst thing I ever did and I am so sorry," Luke said.

"Thank you for your apology," I said. "Seeing you again made me realize how much I was still.... bothered by what happened."

"I know, I feel the same way," Luke replied. He popped a couple French fries into his mouth.