No Escape from Ultra Deluxe

Epilogue

Tw: Knife, Blood

"Excuse me?!" You say as soon as you wake up. "What the hell was that?! I get that you don't need me anymore but what do you mean retire all this?! You want to get rid of me?"

"I don't know." The Narrator says. "I don't know what to think about any of this... Ironic isn't it. You ended up with more free will than I have."

"We've gone over this before I thought." You say.

"Sure." He says. "Are we friends? Enemies?" I don't know.

"Well..." You say. "There's one more ending I'd like to try."

"What's that?"

You move quickly as you get to The Bucket and bring it back to stand on one of the desks.

"Oh my- (Y/N) I don't understand how you get so much entertainment out of that stupid window. It's an empty void out there, literally."

"It's the only ending I haven't tried with the bucket yet." You counter.

"Whatever."

You jump out the window.

"Yes," whispered the bucket. "We've done it. We've escaped from that dull office and that pesky narrator. At last, out here in the white void, we are alone. Now, and for the first time, I can reveal to you my true self."

The Bucket began to tell you of its life and its history, of the countless wars it witnessed desecrating the land and lives of untold numbers of innocent humans and The Bucket's own complicity therein, of sadness and regret and the many years it spent dwelling on the actions it might have taken to curb the madness and the decay. If only it had been stronger. Of hope and redemption and its crusade to uplift the stock of life for the common man. To manifest justice where none existed and the bittersweet reality of time, to see one's dreams and wishes met halfway meted out in parcels like charity and abandoned as soon as the warm glow of inspiration begins to dim. The opportunities to do so much more. There was so much it could have done.

"Perhaps..." The Bucket wondered to itself. "Perhaps if it had seen its own darkness with a clearer perception..."

Your head was starting to hurt. "What are you talking about?!" You screamed. "You're a bucket!"

"Thank you (Y/N)! You get it now. The Bucket can't speak to you or-"

To this, The Bucket furrowed its brow. "No," said The Bucket. "Not since the evil wizard Gambhorra'ta first ensnared me in his machinations as payback for the sacred amulet I stole from his treasured vaults. I was young back then, and could not conceive the ramifications of -"

"The Bucket does talk?!" The Narrator exclaimed.

"NO!!" You screamed even louder this time. "This... is... stupid!! You... are... a... bucket!! This is so stupid! Why are we even doing this?!"

As you screamed and screamed and screamed, the bucket revealed its true form, transforming into a mighty beast of untold power, its fangs glistening like-

Before the transformation finished you threw The Bucket at the wall and stomped it down. It still made sound and though you're not sure where it came from you stabbed it with a knife. You step back, breathing hard as blood pooled beneath The Bucket.

"My god. (Y/N), you did it! You saved us from The Bucket! Thank god you already had all twelve Emblems of Sages and knew the incantations to summon their true power. Otherwise we would have easily been overwhelmed by the bucket's power. I'm speechless. You've demonstrated such bravery here today. Come, let's restart the game! And we'll agree to never again go trifling with this bucket, nor the dark magic cast away inside of it."

"I feel... Freer." You say.

"Me too." Says The Narrator.

You wake up at you computer and pause. It looks like a home screen. For The Stanley Parable? You grab your mouse and hover over epilogue. You debate for a moment and click.

You wake up again. You're laying in the sand, back in the desert and you're heart sinks. "No. No. No! Narrator!" You call out. The sound of the wind is the only response. "This can't be how it ends. Narrator! This isn't funny! Please!" You beg. "This isn't happening. All that stuff with The Bucket... It couldn't have been a dream." Than you think about it. "Well actually that would make a lot more sense."

You look around and decide to you have to keep walking. You're lucky to make yourself a fire that night, you sit in a chair and stare helplessly into the flames. "I'm sorry Narrator." You say. "I hope you're out there somewhere living that life you were talking about and you're not just dead alone somewhere because I abandoned you at the skip button."

You keep walking for days through sandstorms and tornadoes, spending some nights walking endlessly without warmth. Some days you miss the storms when you look around and see only nothingness for miles in all directions. Finally one day, after many many days you come to place a that looks broken but familiar.

"The memory zone?" You say. You run forward but pause when you see an escape pod not too far off. Your bucket is sitting inside. You feel your eyes water as you pick it up. "Hey buddy."

You than make your way inside the memory zone. You walk downwards through the partly buried building. You walk until you come to a review from Cookie9's blog. You chuckle as you read it.

"I told you, people's opinions on the internet don't matter." You whisper. "Look! Even they changed their mind, said the original was great."

You turn and continue down the path. You come to a room that tells you about how no more spinoffs or sequels will be made. You press the buttons scattered across the floor as you go.

"Jim."
"Jim."
"Jim."
"Jim."
"Jim."
"Jim."
"Jim."
"Jim."
"Jim."
"Jim."
"Jim."
"Jim."
"Stanley."

You freeze and press the last one again. "Stanley." Tears well up in your eyes. "Stanley." "Stanley." A sob slips by.

"I'll be your Stanley again. I'll do your endings. Please come back. Please, I can't be alone forever." You whisper to nothing. You stand up with a heavy sigh. "That's enough of the Jim button."

You press the button with your foot. "Stanley."

"And the Stanley button." You add and continue on your way.

You come to a room full of figurines and grab them all as you go. Thinking of how happy The Narrator was as you collected them all. When the last one is gone the world gets dark. You've never felt smaller. You look at the hole in the back of the room and slide down into the darkness.

(1126 Words)