No Escape from Ultra Deluxe

Cruel Jokes

"I say who needs the bucket." You say.

"I couldn't agree more (Y/N)." The Narrator says. You step out of the office. "Someone was following (Y/N). They was sure of it. If they checked over their shoulder now, they would surely catch them. It was only a matter of time."

You spin around quickly. "Why do you feel the need to do that?"

"I get bored too you know."

You continue forward to the two doors, ignoring the bucket on the way.

"When (Y/N) came to set of two open doors they entered the door on their left."

"What if I didn't though?" You say and head right.

"This was not the correct way to the meeting room, and (Y/N) knew it perfectly well. Perhaps they wanted to stop by the employee lounge first, just to admire it."

"It is my favorite room." You say.

"Is it better than the bucket?"

"... No."

"It was ok." The Narrator said.

"This room is more than ok! It's a gorgeous room! You wouldn't understand."

"Now listen (Y/N) it may be a gorgeous room but in the grand scheme things it's really only ok. It's just like any other employee lounge, in fact I'd argue it's subpar at best compared to most other lounges."

"What?! Narrator you just don't understand. It may be basic looking but deep down in the very heart and soul of the room itself, well, no other room could hold a candle to it."

"I have never met a person more obsessed with a room that you. I may joke about you being in love with the room but I'm beginning to think you really are in love with this room."

"I would never fall in love with something as inanimate as a room."

"Oh really? Than what was that whole thing with The Bucket than?"

"You're the one who said you were in love with The Bucket! Not me!"

"Oh really?! If I remember currently you and The Bucket got married."

"That was prank! On The Bucket."

"Sure (Y/N), sure."

You laugh and walk out of the lounge.

"But at last, they had enough of the amazing room, and so they took the first open door on their left to get back to business."

You stop for a minute and look towards the maintenance section. You continue forwards.

"(Y/N) was so bad at following directions it's incredible they weren't fired years ago."

"Fired from what?! By who?! No one's ever been here." You say.

"Well, somebody must of been here at some point."

"Prove it." There's silence. "That's what I thought."

You decide to drop down where you found the last Stanlurine. You turn towards the vent and go through.

"Stanley had now gotten himself so far off the beaten path, that it seemed the office had begun-"

The Narrator began to repeat like a skipping tape recorder. You walk up to the tape recorder and read some of the tapes scattered around. Narrator Dialogue.

"No..." You whisper turning off the tape currently playing. The Narrator's voice stops and your heart sinks.

"Haha! Gotcha!" The Narrator's voice laughed.  "You didn't think I was actually just a recording, did you?What a silly and trite explanation that would be! All the back and forth between you and me, all the absurd adventures we've been through, and it all turns out I'm just a tape recording?"

You laugh as relief washes over you. "Yeah, ok."

"It was all just in (Y/N)'s head!" The Narrator mocked. "I bet that's the kind of twist you think is revelatory! I bet each and every time you watch a movie where it turns out all to be in the main character's imagination, you must absolutely bolt off the couch in pure shock at the phenomenal and intricate storytelling."

"No-"

"It must be so simple to be you. Life being an unending waterfall of surprises and delights. How much more exciting you must find the world than the rest of us do."

"I wish." You say and it's quiet for a moment.

"Now I've become sad. Look what you've done to me. This is all your fault."

"My fault! This was your sick joke!"

"Sick joke?!" The Narrator exclaims. "It was supposed to be fun, but you just had to make it all serious. You also didn't have to go this way (Y/N)! No one made you! In fact I told you to do the opposite of what you've done."

"I'm sorry I took your joke too seriously." You said sarcastically. "Even though I didn't. I laughed it off you're the one who just had to go on about how my brain is simple for falling for it. You're jokes are always so mean."

"What do you mean?"

"No one would ever love me and I'm a useless man wasting away to nothing with only a mannequin to love."

"... You're taking this whole thing too seriously. It's all in good fun."

"Sure. Now. It wasn't funny the first time though!"

"Well I-"

THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS-

You wake up at your desk. Your room is dark and your computer is on. Uh oh.

"Was that supposed to be proof? All you did was fight."

"It's... Friendly banter." You say.

"It didn't look that way to me."

"What do you know?" You say. "When's the last time you had a friend?"

"..."

"Yeah."

"Never. The Narrator and you are the only people I've ever known, and The Narrator is cruel. That's my whole point. I know what fighting is when I see it."

"Friends fight."

"Do friends trap each other and pull cruel pranks on each other?"

"It wasn't that cruel. It was all in good fun."

"That's not what you said before. You said it was mean."

"That's not the prank I was talking about and you know it."

"You've proven nothing. The Narrator needs to go."

"No! Please give me one more chance!"

The office lights turned back on and the computer turned back to it's regular screen with no orders. You swallowed and looked up, how could you prove to Stanley that The Narrator wasn't so bad?

(1039 Words)