Broken Souls (Book 1 of Seasons of the Cycle)

Chapter 75 - Lura Syllana

I barricade myself within my room and attempt to bury myself in my bed. I can't even go down the halls without being shamed. They call me a whore, a witch for corrupting Orym, and worse. They think I should be banished from the church. That I am some kind of demon and that's the only reason I was able to pass so easily through the ranks.

I don't care about any of them. I want nothing to do with this place anymore. I hate it here. It used to be a place I wanted to call home and now it's become my own personal hell. The Light evades me, and all I find is darkness.

I just want it to all end. I just want to be back with Orym.

I have no more strength left inside me to carry on anymore. When night arrives and the cathedral is all but asleep, I head out to the halls to the place where the names of the fallen are written in stone. I find Orym's name and trace my fingers over the engraved letters. "I can't bear it any longer, my love. I don't want to endure this pain anymore. I realize I don't really want to die; I just want relief. I just want to be reunited with you, but that cannot happen within this life. Maybe it can happen in the next, whatever that may bring."

"Lura..." I turn around to see Ralodan walking up to me. "You're in so much pain..."

He walks up to me, but that smile that always brought so much warmth is nowhere to be found. "It hurts me to see you like this."

"There's nothing you can do," I say, pulling my eyes away.

"Maybe not, but I will not stand by while people hurt. I, too, know what it feels like to find that your heart wants to love. It is wrong to forbid such things," he says as walks up to the stone monuments and looks at the names engraved upon them. "I am in love with Melyis, and I will not let these laws forbid it of me. Neither can I let you be broken by them. It is not the way of the Light. This I know in my heart. And I can see the hypocrisy within the church. Not many abide by this rule yet only a few are punished for breaking it. It's unjust and unfair. Neither you nor Orym deserved this fate, and it angers me to see you endure it. Anger isn't something I'm used to feeling. It is foreign to me and I don't like it. I don't like it one bit."

"I don't know what you want me to do," I say.

He turns to look me in the eye. "Stand with me and fight this injustice. Help me change the rules and strike it down. Maybe it is too late for Orym, but that doesn't mean we can't honor him by righting this wrong."

I look away. "There's nothing we can do about it. We are but mere Accepted. Who are we to say what is the law?"

"Well, you are. I became a Brother not that long ago while you were grieving. But regardless, we are servants of the Light. That means we do what is right in the name of the Light. Don't give up hope. You may never find love again, but you can still honor the one you gave your heart to."

"I don't know... You're asking a lot of me, and I just don't have anything left inside of me," I say.

"I can understand, but promise me this; you must not give up. Don't give in to the dark. Stay strong and live on. Live for Orym. Live for your family," he says. His words seem to spark a light of hope inside me. My family... How could I forget about them? My entire purpose was to free them, yet even that seems so far out of reach. I can't even bring myself to see the flow anymore.

I look up at Ralodan. "I will try, but I can't make any promises."

"That is good enough for me. Now go get some rest. It is late," he says.

I nod, and he gives me that warm smile of his. I head back to my room and find Chalia sitting on my bed. She gets up when I enter and hugs me. "Oh, thank the light. I thought you went and did something drastic. I was worried sick about you."