amsterdam ( central cee )

13

I wipe the counter and start the next millionth pint of the day, exhaling a tired sigh.

This day has been odd. It is Valentine's Day. Valentine would have been nine years old today. Because it was his birthday, we never celebrated Valentine's Day again after he died, it was his day. It's odd spending it so far away from him. I haven't cried as much as I usually do, and I'm just waiting for the dam that's holding back my emotions to burst.

Guilt tastes sour on my tongue and it settles on the center of my chest, weighing on my lungs. I'm just a big ball of guilt, the feeling intensifying with the second.

If I were back home, we'd visit his grave, clean his stone and give him new presents. At least the day would feel like I've done something for him. But here I am, tapping beer for the daily drunks.

I'm curious what my family has been up to. Nobody, not even Marius, called me. I wonder if it's deliberate even though I know they struggle with Valentine's death and this day just as badly as I do. I can already hear my dad's excuse from miles away.

'We don't want to worry you.'

The door swings open making the little bell above it ring aggressively. Lexi walks in, instantly bringing more life and color into the pub as she was the complete opposite of everyone in this damned place.

Her head peaked from a large bouquet of roses and she smiles  at me. I rise my brows while shoving the pint toward the customer who gradually takes it out of my hand.

"Hey..." I say with a brow raised. "What you got there?"

Lexi chuckles, her face reading mischief. She climbs one of the barstools and shoves the bouquet in my face.

"It's for you." She shoves the roses against my nose, shaking them rather aggressively.

I squeal with excitement and take them from her hands. "Aww, Lex. What did I do to deserve this?"

Lexi shrugs. "It's Valentine's day today and we hooked up so it's kind of an obligation. Everyone I've fucked deserves some love."

I feel warmth flood my face and I feel stupid because of it. I shake my head at her and place the bouquet in an empty pitcher nearby.

"We didn't necessarily hook up."

"Oh?" Her face runs surprised. "Cause last thing I remember is you moaning my name like a little slut."

Her response is greeted with my giggle, and now I know for certain I'm blushing.

"You fucked Hannah, that's different." I wink at her and she rolls her eyes at me.

"Welp. If you see Hannah around, make sure to give her the flowers."

I laugh and push my hair behind my ear so that I can look at her. "I'll leave a memo. I dunno when she's returning though." I sigh.

"Anyways," she leans her head against her hands and looks at me from beneath her thick faux lashes. "I need sum' to keep me awake."

I look around the bar. It's near to empty, other than the usual daily drunks. My boss is in his office, my colleague is mopping up puke at the other side of the bar. So far so good.

"I have coffee?" I shrug, raising the lukewarm coffee jug. She lets out a bored whine and dramatically throws her head back in response.

"I'll accept the offer." I pour her a cup and give her an extra tea biscuit because she's my bestie. "Add a shot of Brandy to that."

"In it or...?"

I can see a race of thoughts in Lexi's eyes. "Put that shit in."

I have no time to worry about Alexia's well-being so I pour the shot into her coffee. I shove it toward her and she smiles.