amsterdam ( central cee )

epilogue

When the last curl falls off the wand I look at my reflection in the mirror, still not believing that the woman looking back at me is... me. I apply my usual lip combo with just a little more care than I usually do, hyperfocused until a warm hand is on the small of my lower back.

"Hey," I look at Oakley from my reflection. "How're you feelin'?"

"Excited!" I smile back.

"I know." He takes a look at my hair and pushes a strand behind my ear. "You look good, baby." He kisses me on the temple.

"So do you," I say with my mouth open, overlining my cupid bow. I catch a worried glimmer on his -very handsome- face, "Is daddy here already?"

"Yeah... We're gonna be late if you take this long."

"I ain't taking long, Oak. I just--..." I drop my supplies, retouching my hair again. "I'm nervous."

"What are you nervous about?" He asks gently, his lips lingering on the skin of my temple. "This is your day, ain't it? Whatever you're worryin' about, that shit gotta wait 'cuz we needa go."

I know he's right, so I don't argue with him. I finish my lips quickly and fasten the straps of my heels. Oakley is already putting on his shoes when I am racing downstairs.

"Ready?" Mom asks, with her hand on her hip, leaning against the post of the wall.

"Yeheees! Yall are acting like I've been getting ready for hours!" I say in Dutch, scrabbling the last bits together and stuffing them in my handbag.

"Imma just keep my mouth shut." Oakley mumbles, following my lead toward our porch. I don't say anything as I unlock the car, not realizing that he fully understands me just now.

When we were settled in the car, I turned to him. "Duo Lingo has been helping you out I see. Oakley shrugs as he presses the car to start.

"I'm just smart like that, you know."

I roll my eyes, attempting to brush off the surge of nerves racing through me. Oakley senses my tension and reassuringly places his hand on my thigh as he drives us towards my university.

*

The auditorium is abuzz with my -now former- classmates at the graduation ceremony. Everyone is seated with wide smiles, accompanied by a strong entourage of family and friends. Mom, Dad, Marius, and Oakley have taken their assigned seats. Following Oakley's request, they've chosen to sit towards the back - behind others - ensuring that all attention is focused on me. Additionally, from that vantage point, they would have a perfect view of the stage. We, the students, gather behind the doors of this auditorium. Mohammed stands before me, beaming, revealing all his teeth, as we await the diploma presentation.

"I'm nervous," he giggles girlishly. "How are you not nervous?"

"Girl, you don't even know."

His hands drop on my shoulders, shaking me a little. "If it were'nt for you, Han. I probably would've given up. . . Thank you for that."

The seriousness on his face is foreign, weird. It touches me so badly that I don't even realize the tears welling up in my eyes and my cheeks getting hotter.

Mohammed takes me into a short embrace, squeezing me at the shoulders. "I love you, Han!"

That made the tear roll down. When he pulls back he bursts out laughing at my teary face, frantically trying to wipe them off. "You're such a damn crybaby."

"You know I cannot handle shit like that, Mo."

He keens and squeezes me again.

"I love you too."