my guardian angel | peter parker x gn!reader

s e v e n

lost

The galaxy that used to comfort you so much, now only seemed like the home of your greatest losses. The ship that used to anger and suffocate you so much, now only saddened you. The face that used to irk you so much, was now a face that you missed with all your heart.

"It's your fault! It's your fault we're in this situation!"

Your own words hadn't stopped running through your mind since they had been said. A couple of weeks ago and yet it hadn't let go of your focus.

"You screwed up and we lost. It's your fault."

At this point, you'd run out of tears to cry. Your heart was as empty as the ship you sat in. It was as if when Thanos snapped 50% of living creatures from existence, he'd drained the life from all that remained. Without the Guardians, there were no early morning antics, no stupid arguments from across the ship, no persistent family issues. Without the Guardians, life wasn't interesting.

"Y/N Quill."

"He never said he had a kid."

As per usual, you found comfort in your dad's music, although now a tinge of heartache had been added. You lay on your bed, staring at the ceiling, empty just like you.

"Please, don't-" Before you were able to finish your request, Mantis had already placed her hand on your shoulder.

It was like her mood did a complete 180. From happy, to terrified. "...What are you so afraid of?" She slowly glanced over her shoulder toward your dad, seemingly putting the pieces together. Without another word, she shuffled back over to Drax, bursting into laughter once her hand had made contact with his skin.

You should find some way to distract yourself, you know. But you were too busy locked inside your head that even distractions couldn't help. You were gone. You'd dug a hole and now you couldn't get back out again. Once again, you were alone.

"You need to be more careful. You're just like your father."

Ronan proved a difficult enemy, but for a newbie like you? He was practically unstoppable. You had no idea how lucky you were with the Guardians by your side. Gamora had taken the responsibility to tend to your wounds: a split open lip and a large bruise on the left side of your torso.

"You're lucky you didn't inherit his pea brain as well."

Gamora. The first one to leave. The first one you failed. You clutched the locket in both hands, a habit you'd picked up since that day. The universe gave you a second chance at a mother, and you failed it once again. It's your fault she's gone. Not your dad's, not Thanos's, yours.

"Gamora wasn't the only one who saw that I was practically a prisoner in my own home."

"It's your fault! It's your fault we're in this situation!"

Your one chance at a biological family, ruined as well.

Dad...

I was so focused on making Mom proud, I forgot that I had someone looking over me the whole time.

I am so sorry.

Please...

Please, do what I never could do.

Please, forgive me.

"Y/N?" a robotic voice sounded from the doorway, startling you from your thoughts.