my guardian angel | peter parker x gn!reader

t h r e e

promise me

"You're not coming."

"What? But you said-"

"I know what I said but I'm rewinding and telling you that you're not coming. Thanos is way too dangerous for a fifteen-year-old."

The words played in your mind like a broken record on repeat. You told yourself you hated him, but all he was doing was reinforcing the thoughts you'd already been thinking.

"Face it, Y/N, you're not ready for this situation-"

"I've been ready for four years!"

"Look at yourself! You're too weak to even hold all that equipment; how do you expect to take on a massive titan?!"

Weak..?

You had run away when the sickly urge to sob began to claw at your throat. It wasn't anything to get upset over; you should've been used to seeing your hopes crushed before your eyes. And yet, your mind clung to it like a lifeline. Thoughts of all kinds circled your brain until you'd forgotten all other shapes in the world.

If your thoughts were really your friends, you should've ditched them a long time ago.

The silence grew louder, and louder, and louder until you might as well have gone deaf or insane. Your father's words scratched your brain in all the wrong places, leaving your senses overwhelmed to the point you could've broken down right there and then. But you didn't. Why get upset over something so trivial? Why be weak?

Hastily, you snatched the walkman from your bedside table. 'Awesome Mix Vol 1'. Your fourteenth birthday gift from your dad himself. One of the few times he showed care for you since meeting the Guardians. You liked to play it when you were alone, or on the verge of breaking down. Ticking both of those boxes, now seemed like the perfect time.

You plugged the earbuds in and pressed play. The intro of I'm Not in Love by 10CC started playing in your ears. It's ironic, isn't it; to escape from the shackles of protection your father had placed upon you, you listened to his music.

"I'm not in love,"

You didn't want to seem weak. Not to yourself, not to anyone. And what better way to eradicate something, than a distraction or to pretend it was never there in the first place.

"So don't forget it."

Your breathing was shaky, all you wanted to do was sob out your feelings, but it would only prove his point. So in through the nose, out through the mouth.

"It's just a silly phase I'm going through."

You shut your eyes, hoping the music would swallow you whole and spit you out in some paradise. Oh, the things you would do to get off this damned ship.

"And just because,"

But as always, hope never lasts long.

"I call you up,"

You were a fool to think you could possibly leave.

"Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made."

No, you were stuck here. You would be stuck here for the rest of your life.

"I'm not in love, no, no."