Catastrophic Clouds

The Beginning

The church bells rang
Seven times to be exact
I stood there in the rain
Streaks of lightning flashed across the sky
And I watched her walk away
I think I tried to call out to her
But either my voice didn't reach her
Or she ignored me
I could feel my heart shatter
My tailbone ached from the recent surgery
But bandages and stitches held that together
But nothing mended my heart together
I stood there and watched the girl I loved walk away
I gave her my first dance
I gave her my first song
I gave her my heart
And oh my God, we almost had sex
But I'm glad we didn't
Because that would just be another regret that I have
Whenever I think about her
But that doesn't really matter now
I cried in front of her, and she laughed
She turned a white soul into a black one
Nowadays I hate the rain
Because it reminds me of her
I hate the songs she used to sing
Because she had sung them to me
I hate being touched
Because of the way she used to hold me
I hate her
She damaged me
My heart shattered like glass
And now I'm afraid to even try again
Knowing it may end up like her
Only I don't think
Anyone could wrong me more than this story
Of her and I
Of the moments we shared
What I gave to her
I stood in the rain for quite a while
Walked home in the rain
Hoped to be struck by lightning
But God has cursed me
Because I cannot do it myself
I will just have to live
With a burning hate in my heart
For that one girl
That I loved
Then a year and a half later, you passed away
I'll never have closure of what happened between us
So many questions were left unanswered
I hope your soul remains at peace
As my soul remains in torment