Home for Winter

chapter 12

╔═══════ ❄ ◦ ❆ ◦ ❄ ═══════╗

chapter 12

I Wish You'll Cry

Everett

What do you do when you don't feel inspired to write?

Complain, and then force yourself to write. At least that's what I always do. But for today, I'm applying what Edward said, If exploring doesn't still work, subukan mong makipag-usap. I've talked to Olivia way too much every day. At this point she might be annoyed by my nonsensical musings.

Which is why I'll talk to the kids today. If you don't feel inspired to write, then work your ass off and find that inspiration. It's easy, totally easy, according to other people. Kaya 'yon ang gagawin ko ngayon.

Well, that's a load of crap. But do I have a choice? I'm tired of pretending to be motivated every time that I sit in front of my laptop screen.

Dahil wala akong nabiling libro no'ng pumunta kami ng plaza, dadalhin ko na lang 'tong Kindle ko kung saan ako nag-save ng mga eBook ng Children's book.

The problem is, how do I convince Olivia to come? Hindi raw pupunta ng café ngayon sina Nika dahil hindi umalis ang mama nila. Nakakahiya naman kung ako lang mag-isa ang pupunta do'n. I'm not that close with their mother, if anything, it's Olivia.

I open the door and step out of my room.

Ah... perhaps, I should tell her that I'll buy her some colorful yarns? Make coffee for her? Clean the café? Perhaps I'll buy a book that she'll like, but then again, she said she don't read—

"Shocks."

I look over my shoulder while locking my door. Standing across the other room's doorway is Olivia, dress in thick winter clothes with a tote bag on her shoulder.

Iniwas niya agad ang tingin. "Um... aalis ka?"

"Aalis ka rin?"

Tumango siya kaya tumango rin ako.

"Sa village," sabay naming sabi.

I scratch my brow, crap, I suddenly forget my excuse earlier. "So, as you can see, I bought a lot of Children's eBook and I, I think it would be nice to read it to the kids. 'Di ba gustong gusto nilang binabasahan. Baka mag-expire na next week kapag hindi ko pa binasa this week, so, yes, that. Though it's awkward to go alone, so..."

What am I even saying? Mag-eexpire? It's not like I borrowed it.

"Kung sabagay..." sabi niya. She caresses her elbow before saying, "Pupunta rin ako kasi nagpapaturo sila na gumawa ng... ng crochet, I mean. At, uh, baka magalit si Nanay kapag 'di ako pumunta. Nakakahiyang pumuntang mag-isa kaya... 'Tsaka sabi niya kasi, mag-luluto siya, ng sampelot..."

I find it amusing. How we're standing across each other so awkwardly, ashamed to tell the truth.

Napatingin siya sa 'kin. "Ba't ka nakangiti?"

"It's just... surely these are not white lies, right?"

The side of her lips curve. "I guess," she whispers.

❄ ❄ ❄

The elders are on the gazebo when we arrive. Lumapit agad si Olivia para batiin sila. I observe them while I wait for the kids on the other side of the gazebo.

"Ganito, tapos, ganiyan," the old woman with long white hair says while carefully following Olivia.

"May pinagmanahan nga ang apo ni Pacing," comments the old man with glasses, who's playing cards with another old man. I hear them call him Berto. "Kung sabagay pati anak niya naman magaling manahi no'n."