FAUX REAL

30

Lisa's POV

Memories are like ocean waves. They can be beautiful, soothing, comforting. But they can also be deadly, destructive, damaging. For over an hour, I was expecting the latter. I was anticipating a surge of repressed emotions to flow through me, to take me back to a few months ago. Back to a time when spending even a second in Taeyong's presence would make me crumble. But it didn't happen. I'm still standing.

And the only thing I feel right now is gratitude. I'm grateful I got to spend time with my friend. That's what he was to me. A friend. A friend I fell in love with. But always a friend first. Maybe we can be friends again.

"Thanks for the ride," I say, slamming the passenger door shut. He awkwardly shifts his weight, shuffling the gravel driveway with his shoes as he looks into the distance. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah-" He clears his throat, finally meeting my gaze, his blue eyes glistening from the porch lights. "Well actually, no, I'm uh- I've been thinking and-"

Oh no. I know that look. I've seen it. I fell in love with it. Please don't ruin this.

"Taeyong, don't," I whisper, slightly shaking my head. "Please don't."

He frowns. "Don't what?"

"You know what," I say, unable to look at him. "Don't say it. Please don't say it."

"I miss you, lice," he admits, his words like a giant wave crashing over my body. "I really do." He gestures at the car. "I miss driving around with you and listening to shitty music." He takes a step towards me, a gentle smile on his face as he flicks a piece of chocolate off the corner of my lips. "I miss watching you devour your weight in 3 Musketeers bars." His hand stays on my face as he whispers, "I miss it all."

Shit. Maybe we can't be friends.

"Taeyong-" I place my hand on his, lowering it slowly. "I said don't for a reason."

"You don't miss me?" he asks, his face falling. "Not even a little?"

"I do miss you but-" I bite my lip. "I don't think I miss you in the same way you miss me."

"Right." He nods, running a hand against the back of his head. "Right."

"Plus," I add cautiously, "You're with seulgi, remember?"

"Yeah, I know but it's just...she's not-" He sighs, closing his eyes. "She's not you."

"No, she's not," I agree, sucking in a small breath and pushing my ego aside. "But she loves you. And you love her too...right?"

He swallows, looking over my shoulder as he thinks. A little too long.

"Taeyong?"

"Yeah?" he asks, glancing at me with heartbreakingly sad eyes.

"I know it's not my place to meddle in your relationship but maybe you should figure that answer out sooner rather than later," I say, my own heart starting to hurt. "Because faking something...it doesn't make it real. Trust me."

He narrows his eyes. "What are you-"

"I'm just saying, be honest with what you want," I quickly add. "Because otherwise, someone's going to get hurt."

"Fuck," he breathes, jaw locking. "I shouldn't have said anything. I feel like a jackass right now."

"I mean, I did say don't say anything," I note in a semi-playful tone, hoping it'll cut through the super uncomfy tension in the air. "You should listen to me more often."