⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
Unwanted Thoughts
Gun
Death—————————————————-
After 3rd and 4th period, it's finally lunch! I look at my phone and see 10 miss calls from..MY DAD?! I start to panic, "what's wrong anya?" Becky asks, seeing me panic. I show her my phone, "what should I do!" I say, Panicking.
"Awww! He must be worried about you, even though you are at school" after Becky says that, she realises I am panicking "calm down Anya, you will see Loid after school so you can talk then!" Becky then gives back my phone.
I smile a bit, still worried. "Yeah.. I guess your right.." I put my phone away as we go to the cafeteria. I see Evelyn trying to flirt with damian again. like always, we sit in a normal spot.
Evelyn then sees me at the corner of her eye, she smirks Evilly. Getting up and walking over to me and Becky, damian and his minions follow. Wondering what is going to happen.
"Well well well..I thought rats where meant to be exterminated" Evelyn says, looking at me. "Same, so why are you still here?" Becky replies, being her sassy self
Evelyn turns to Becky and says "Tsk, I wasn't talking to you, miss brat"
I softly sigh, turning to face Evelyn "Evelyn, what do you want?", "heh, well" Evelyn leans towards me, "I know your secret." I look confused but in reality I am shocked
"What secret?" Becky and Damian ask at the same time, Evelyn turns to both of them, "well Anya use to be an ex-" I quickly cover her mouth. "-EXTREMELY SCARED OF THE DARK!" I nervously and panicky interrupted her
Damian and Becky look confused, before Evelyn could say another word after she pulled me away. The bell goes for are last class.
As everyone starts walking to class, Evelyn death stares me and whispers "I'm going to tell everyone that your a lab rat." She walks off, running to Damian.
Evelyn smirks and decides to grab Damian's arm, holding it into her chest. I walk with Becky. Panicking but Becky doesn't know that.
I have learnt how to hide my emotions after watching a secret training video on YouTube, I heard it was called..uh, bottling it up? Idk what it means completely but it helps!.... We are now in class. I'm afraid that Evelyn has told people..
Time skip
The bell finally goes , everyone starts going home or back to their domes. Me and Becky wave goodbye, saying; "I will see you tomorrow!". Not knowing it would be are last for a long time..
And with that, we go are separate ways, I walk to the bus. Taking a seat in a empty space, I had completely forgot about what Evelyn said aswell..it has been a long day, I had to study for are end of term
"I can't wait to see Mama and Papa, I also hope bond is ok. I heard mama was gonna feed him today, what a mess that's gonna be!" I think to myself.
after a few minutes, it starts to rain. I am almost home, just have to walk up some stairs, as I go up the steps. I hear thoughts and sounds from my apartment room. I sneak up the stairs as I get closer.
I hide behind a corner and see Loid laying on the ground, 2 SSS officers with big guns. One is holding Loid down with a gun to his head, it was..Yuri.
I'm shocked and feel completely frozen in that moment. Seeing my father about to die..but then, I unfreeze after seeing that Loid is looking at me. He then lips "run".
As with that, I run out of their. My heart and thoughts are running so fast, I keep asking myself.. "is mama ok?" "Is bond ok" "is papa gonna die?!" "Where are bond and mama" "what about the mission?" "Where do I go?" I then hear a gun shot.
I start sobbing and run out of the building. "this is all my fault!". I run to the point it felt like hours have past. I Found myself at an abandoned part of town where not many people live anymore.
I decided I needed to hide somewhere quiet and alone and most likely dark, I still had my bag with me so I could find somewhere to go and then..I found it!
An ally, a dark and cold ally. I sit down and cry with my back leaning on the wall behind me. "I'm so useless, I tired so hard and in the end they still abounded me!.." I think to myself as tears continue to go down my cheeks.
"Maybe I was just...never enough for them...or anyone....I always put people in danger..this is all my fault. I did this..all wrong.." as i continue to think to myself. I look at my hand, I realise that I am shaking. I cover my face and quietly sob, hiding my ugly crying face.
As it begins to rain more heavily, there is a big storm tonight which I forgot about.. I feel the raindrops fall heavily on my hair and down my whole body, I felt freezing and the heavy rain on my tired body.
"Maybe if I had stayed at that lab then I would have been loved, even if they were using me for their stupid world peace...Even if I had died their, I was at least wanted!....pfft...who am I kidding?...I'm just a freak, a monster. A lab rat, that should have died years ago.." I continue, making me shake more and more.
I didn't mean to think these things but I couldn't help it, no one loves me. They all just use me..."at this point, Becky and sy-on boy have probably found out. Well, of course they would have because it would be all over the news...the top spy died..and Evelyn would have aswell..They probably hate me, no. They do hate me"
I start hearing people come over to the abandoned buildings, "i need to run before they find me" I get up quickly and begin to run down the ally. I try to be quick and quiet but it was hard, I was able to run into a forest that was connected to the ally.
I decided to hide in the forest, deep in the forest. I found a tree to hide behind and sit down. I place my head between my knees, trying to calm down, just the tiniest bit. I couldn't, I didn't feel safe. I was alone, all alone.
"I deserve this pain" I mumbled quietly to myself, "maybe I even...deserve death" I look up at the trees as the heavy rain drops fall on my face, I try relaxing my body.
I have never felt so numb and so confused at the same time, I didn't know what to feel. I felt empty, it sounds dumb but I did. I only felt tired. I felt so tired, mentally and physically.
I softly closed my eyes as rain drops fall on my face and body.."im cold but I had been through worse. Food won't be a problem because grass is better than going back to the lab, I could also sell my phone and belongings for money. Yeah.." I think, drifting off to sleep...
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Words: 1272
I Hope you liked today's chapter! I worked hard on it and I have so many ideas for future chapters, I hope you have an amazing Christmas!<333
Cya!
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The Missing Subject | Damianya + Angst | Spyxfamily
Fanfiction⚠️TW⚠️ ‼️Self harm, Attempt, c-PTSD/PTSD, Fight scenes, needles, gore, angst, bullying and more‼️ ♥︎You have been warned!!♥︎ ----------------------- This beautiful angel is called Anya Forger. Her true name is 007, she is a test subject who survived...