Dear My Lover

May 16th, 2015

Dear My Lover,

I dont know if I deserve this. Honestly, I probobly do. Today your friend Hunter kiked me. Ive never been so sad before in my life. He told me you stole his girlfriend two months ago. Two months ago was the last time we talked.

He said you two are still together. He also said that shes not your only girlfriend, you have ten more. That makes me want to die because I wonder how many you had when you were with me. He said that u date 17 year olds.

I know I kissed one guy and am dating one, but thats more then what ive done.

Even though ive done things and so have you, I still fucking love you. I miss you, but I dont think im ready for you to come back. I want to talk to you like how we used to, but I know were gunna have to talk about what we did. I also wish I knew you didnt do those things. Now when I talk to you ill know that.

I wish I was with you. Im still not ready to let go of you. Honestly, if your gunna be gone forever, I want to be too. I just wish I was dead.

I dont think I can sleep anymore. I dont even sleep that much now. I guess ill just watch the sky go from black to light blue but I bet its now the same without you. I guess ill have to think about you because I dont feel so alone when I do. But at the same time, I do.

When I think of how we used to talk I dont feel alone. When I think of us right now, not talking, I feel alone. I just wanna leave and go somewhere. I swear I wont forget you. I will never.

At night I think of how we used to talk about being together. When I said that I hated sleeping alone you said you wished you could sleep next to me. When I look into the past I find us talking about our future, moving to florida or the bahamas and having kids. You saying we would never fight.I hate to say it but I think that the next time we talk that will change.

Right now I just wanna die but I also want to be in your arms.

When Hunter told me everything, I got so mad. I wanted to stab someone. Even myself. I want to stab all the girls u dated that wasnt me.

I definitely dont want to stab you. I fucking love you. I think that's the messed up part but I guess thats just how I feel.

You still have my heart forever.

Love, Heavenly