Body language

The Neck

The Neck

The neck is the weakest and most vulnerable part of our body. Everything critical for our survival-blood, food, water, electrical signals, hormones, air flows through the neck. Made up of numerous muscles intricately interwoven to hold up our head, hollow cervical bones that protect the spinal cord, with large veins and arteries that feed the brain, the neck is obviously very vital. And yet, the neck is often ignored when it comes to nonverbal communication, even though we know that our necks signal when we are comfortable, interested, or receptive to an idea or a person. We touch our necks, cover them, or we ventilate them, along with other behaviors and in doing so we tell the world what we are secretly thinking or feeling. Sensitive to the slightest touch or caress or even the warmth of a breath, the neck is also one of the most sensual areas of the body.

206. NECK TOUCHING -Beyond scratching an itch, neck touching serves as an excellent indicator of insecurities, apprehension, anxiety, worries, or issues. However slightly, we tend to touch our neck when something bothers us or we are concerned. Neck touching, in all its forms is often overlooked, and yet, it is one of the most accurate when it comes to revealing that something is bothering us.

207, COVERING OF SUPRASTERNAL NOTCH-Touching or covering of the "neck dimple" or suprasternal notch (the indented area of the neck below the Adam's apple and just above the upper chest) indicates concern, issues, worries, insecurities, or fear. Men tend to grab their neck or throat robustly or cover this area with their full hand as they adjust their tie or grab their collar. Women touch this area more frequently than men, and they tend to do so more point of the body signifies that something is at issue. Covering our neck when we feel threatened most likely evolved as a result of the countless encounters our species had witnessing countless acts of predation by large felines which usually go for the neck. For more information about this, see What Every BODY Is Saying.

208. TIE-KNOT TOUCHING-The tie knot covers the suprasternal notch and the neck, and touching it serves the function of protecting the neck and relieving anxiety. Men will often do this when they feel social awkwardness or mild anxiety. Some men will do this repeatedly as a pacifying behavior, much as a woman might play with a necklace when stressed.

209. PLAYING WITH NECKLACE -Playing with a necklace serves the same purpose for women as covering the neck dimple with the hand. It protects a vulnerable area and relieves stress through repetitive movement.

210. PLAYING WITH SHIRT COLLAR-Touching or playing with the front shirt collar serves to pacify or relieve stress in three ways: by covering the neck area; as a tactile repetitive behavior; and by moving clothing to ventilate the skin underneath.

211. NECK MASSAGING-People often massage the sides or back of their neck to relieve stress. It is easy for many people to dismiss this sort of behavior, but the fact is that people usually only do it when something is bothering them.

212. MASSAGING VAGUS NERVE-The vagus (Latin for "wandering") nerve connects the brain to our major organs, including the heart. Under stress, you might find yourself massaging the side of the neck, near where you check your pulse. There is a reason for this: stimulation of the vagus nerve results in the release of acetylcholine, a neurotransmitter that in turn sends signals to the heart, specifically the atrioventricular node, which causes your heart rate to go down.

213. SKIN PULLING-Pulling at the fleshy area of the neck under the chin serves to calm some men. Sometimes, under great stress, the pulling becomes extreme. It is rare to see in women. I have seen men under stress pull with such vigor, it makes their skin blanch.

214. VENTILATING NECK-When we are under stress, our skin warms, a physiological reaction controlled by our autonomic nervous system and over which we have little control. This often takes place in less than 1/250th of a second. By ventilating the collar and neck area we relieve the discomfort caused by the flushing or warming of the skin. Heated arguments or even discussions will cause individuals under stress to ventilate, as will hearing a word or a comment that is hurtful. Those of you familiar with the late comedian Rodney Dangerfield (movie Caddyshack, 1980) will remember him doing this in the movie and in his stand-up comedy routines when he didn't "get no respect" but especially when he was stressed.

215. HOLDING FIST IN FRONT OF NECK-Placing a fist at the front of the neck serves the same purpose as covering the neck dimple (suprasternal notch). It is an automatic, subconscious response to threats, fears, or concerns. This behavior occurs primarily in men, but I have seen a few women exhibit it when they are under extreme stress or confronted by something very negative. Many people mistake the fist for a sign of strength, when in reality, in this instance, it is a sign of defensiveness, anxiety, and dislike.

216. NECK VEINS PULSING-Noticeable pulsing of veins in the neck indicates stress or anxiety. When a person is fearful or angry, the pulsing can be very noticeable in some.

217. HARD SWALLOWING -A hard swallow is highly visible and sometimes audible. It is a spontaneous reaction to something unsavory, dangerous, or extremely stressful, and a reliable indicator of distress. The muscles and ligaments that surround the throat tighten, which causes the Adam's apple to move energetically up and down.

218, NECK STRETCHING-Neck stretching or cracking in a circular motion is a stress reliever and pacifier. This is often seen when people are asked difficult questions they would rather not answer.

219. NECK AND FACIAL FLUSHING/BLUSHING-Neck and facial flushing is an autonomic response to a stimulus and cannot be controlled. Many people blush when they feel threatened or insecure and in very rare cases when they are caught lying or doing something illegal. This behavior lets us know that the individual is troubled, whether by merely an innocent embarrassment or something more nefarious. Keep in mind always that certain drugs or foods can cause blushing.

220. ADAM'S APPLE JUMPING-If someone's Adam's apple suddenly jolts upward, chances are he's just heard something that has put him on edge. threatens him, or causes apprehension. This uncontrollable reaction also occurs when a person feels highly vulnerable or exposed. The medical term for the Adam's apple is the laryngeal prominence. The thyroid cartilage around the larynx (a part of the throat that holds the vocal cords) gives it its protruding shape (prominence). It is usually larger in men than in women. This area of the body is highly sensitive and reactive to emotional stressors.

221. NECK EXPOSURE -The canting of the head to the side, exposing the side
of the neck, is one of the most used yet least understood body-language behaviors. We instinctively tilt our head when we hold or even see a newborn baby-something the child recognizes and rewards over time with a smile and relaxed face. As we get older, the head tilt features in courtship behavior, as we stare into a lover's eyes with our head canted to the side, exposing our vulnerable neck. In personal and professional relationships this behavior also signifies that a person is listening and interested. It is a powerfully disarming behavior extremely useful during a confrontation. Coupled with a smile, this is one of the most effective ways to win others over.

222. NECK STIFFENING -When people are attentive and receptive, and especially when they feel comfortable, they will tilt their neck to the side, exposing more of the neck than usual. If the feeling of comfort fades, however, their neck quickly becomes rigid. A stiff neck signifies hyperalertness and vigilance, and might suggest that a person takes issue with something that was just said, or has a serious matter to discuss.

When a person goes from a relaxed state to a quick stiffening of the neck, it is a sure sign that something is amiss.