Body language

The Legs

The Legs

Our legs are unique in the animal kingdom as they point inward at the hips, allowing us to walk, run, sprint, climb, kick, hurtle, swim, and bicycle. We use our legs for locomotion, for protection, to establish dominance, and as a steady anchor for our children to hang on to when they are nervous or shy. Sinewy, long, or stocky, legs are as varied as their owners. Often ignored when it comes to nonverbals, they can communicate everything from elegance to nervousness to joy. And because our legs serve as a survival tool -they can help us escape-they can be very honest when it comes to how we feel about others.

361. SPATIAL DISTANCING --The anthropologist Edward T. Hall coined the term proxemics to describe the need all animals have for personal space. If someone stands too close to us, we are uncomfortable. Our spatial needs are based on both culture and personal preference. Most Americans feel comfortable in public spaces at a distance of 12 to 25 feet from others; in social spaces 4 to 12 feet is preferred; while our personal space is comfortable at about 1.5 to 4 feet. When it comes to our intimate space, anything less than a foot, we are very sensitive to who gets that close. These are of course approximations, as it is different for everyone and varies with culture, nationality, location, and even time of day. At night we might not feel comfortable walking near a stranger who is closer than ten feet. 362. TERRITORIAL STANCE-We use our legs as a form of territorial display by how we stand. The further apart our feet, the greater the territorial display. The breadth of a person's stance is telling: military men and police officers tend to stand with their feet farther apart than, say, accountants and engineers. The spread of the legs transmits clearly a sense of confidence and a subconscious claiming of territory.

363. TERRITORIAL CHALLENGE-During a heated argument a person might intentionally invade your personal space, getting just inches away from your face (figuratively "in your face"), puffing out the chest, and glaring. This violation of space serves to intimidate, and might be a prelude to a physical assault.

364. ANGLING TO THE SIDE -Most people prefer to talk to others from a slightly angled position, rather than directly face-to-face. When children first meet, they usually approach each other at angles for a reason-they get a better reception. I have found that when businesspeople stand facing each other at a slight angle, the amount of time they spend together increases. Note that when there is acrimony, it is always best to stand angled slightly away from the other person as this tends to help diffuse negative emotions.

365. WALKING BEHAVIORS -The way we walk communicates a lot. Some walks are intentionally sexy (Marilyn Monroe's for example), while others show strength and determination (John Wayne's). Some walks suggest that a person is on an important task, while others are more relaxed and casual, or intended to get a person noticed, like John Travolta's character's walk in the opening sequence of the movie Saturday Night Fever. And it is not just how we walk, sometimes we communicate our interest in others by how frequently we walk by to get a good look or to get noticed.

366. SETTING PACE DURING WALK-Whoever sets the walking pace in a group is usually the person in charge. We will speed up or slow down for the most senior person or group leader. Even teenagers will do this, deferring to the most socially prominent one among them by walking at that person's pace. This might mean the last person in a group is the leader and is setting the pace to walk no faster. In analyzing groups remember that it is not who is in front but rather who sets the pace that is in charge.

367. SITTING BEHAVIORS -Each culture sits differently. In some parts of Asia, people squat, buttocks low and knees high, while waiting for a bus. In other cultures, the legs are intertwined as you sit, as Gandhi did while working a loom. In Europe and elsewhere, people often sit with one leg draped over the opposite knee so that the sole points downward. In America, you will see a combination of sitting styles, including the figure 4, where the ankle is placed on top of the opposite knee, with the foot noticeably high. When it comes to sitting behaviors, it is important to follow both local customs as well as those of your host.