Body language

The Hand And Fingers

The Hands And Fingers

The human hand has no equal. It can hold a scalpel and perform delicate surgery or grasp a brush and paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Hands gently cradle us at birth and just as easily grasp an axe handle with enough force to chop down a tree. Our hands are indispensable for work, for play, and for our protection, and we rely on them every day to interact with the world around us. We also use them to communicate effectively-whether we are stopping traffic at a school crossing, conducting an orchestra, or signaling a friend to quickly come over. Our hands are constantly communicating to others our passions, our desires, our abilities, our concerns, and most important, through the gentlest of touch, our love.

257. CONDITION OF HANDS-You can tell a lot from a person's hands. Grooming, scars, and calluses might indicate what kind of work the person does; an office worker's hands look quite different from a cement mixer's. Similarly, arthritis as well as neurological disorders can sometimes be discerned from the condition of the hands as well as finger movement or agitation.

258. HAND GROOMING -Well-groomed hands are a sign of a healthy individual. Clean fingers, with nails of proper length, indicate that people care about themselves. This contrasts with people who have dirty or long nails, unkempt cuticles, or flesh that has been chewed off the fingers. In dating and even in the workplace, we often draw conclusions from how well-groomed or healthy-looking a person's hands appear.

259. FREQUENCY OF TOUCH-How frequently we touch others is a good way of communicating how we feel about them. While on some level the degree of touch is culturally determined, for the most part when we care about others we tend to touch them more often.

260. HOW WE TOUCH-A touch can be respectful, loving, playful, sensuous, reserved, tender, caring, or palliative. A light touch of the skin can send shivers down our spine, stimulating sexual desire. In fact, a light touch stimulates the brain differently than a heavier touch. The loving touch of a caring person with a full palm, warm from the presence of blood near the surface of the skin, can communicate so much to a newborn as well as a lover. And yet when our boss pats us on the shoulder with just the fingertips and says "Good job," our skin crawls because the gesture doesn't feel right; we know it is contrived and empty.

261. TOUCH AND SOCIAL STATUS-In most cultures, whom we can touch, and how, is dictated by social convention. In almost all societies, higher- status individuals will more often touch lower-status individuals than the other way around. In a work environment, you are more apt to see the boss giving a pat on the shoulder than to see an employee pat the boss. We must also be aware of when it is proper to touch, where it is proper to touch (arm or elbow, for instance), and when or if it will be appreciated.

262. PRESSING THE FLESH-This is a term that is often used by politicians to mean shaking hands, gripping an arm, hugging, holding or kissing babies. Hand shaking can be an opportunity for politicians to humanize themselves and establish physical bonds. The connection is literally chemical, as oxytocin (a powerful hormone that serves to socially bind us) is released when we touch others.

263. HANDS ON HIPS, ARMS AKIMBO WITH THUMBS BACK-Known as arms akimbo, when the hands are on hips, thumbs back, with elbows out, this is a dominance display. This signals that an individual is ready and alert, has something to discuss, or there is an issue. Airline agents tell me that if a person does this while waiting in line, you can bet he has a complaint. This is a very authoritarian look. This is not a good way to talk to one's children-it inhibits communication, as the parent looks like a military drill instructor.