Body language

The Shoulders

The Shoulders

Whether they are broad, narrow, athletic, slim, attractive, beguiling, or slumping, our shoulders speak volumes about us. Even from a distance, one cannot mistake the broad shoulders of an Olympic swimmer or the sinewy shoulders of a world-class ballerina. The padded shoulders of a business suit make its wearer stand out, just as the bare shoulders of a statuesque model grab our attention. Slumped when we are depressed or wide and pulled back when we're standing proud, shoulders communicate on our behalf. What they say about who we are, what we have achieved, or what we are thinking or feeling will surprise you.

223. RAISING ONE SHOULDER -One shoulder raised toward the ear as a person answers a question usually represents insecurity or doubt. In conjunction with other behaviors (hesitation in answering, arms drawing closer to the body), this is a good indication that the person lacks confidence in what he is saying. In negotiations, when one party raises a single shoulder in response to a query, such as "Is that your best price? it generally signals there is room for negotiation. A one-shoulder-up answer suggests a lack of full commitment to what is being said.

224. SHOULDER INTEREST-The slow, intentional rise of a single shoulder, coupled with a head tilt toward the same shoulder while making direct eye contact, signifies a personal interest. We mostly see this in dating situations, usually in women as they eye someone they like.

225. HOLDING SHOULDERS HIGH-When people raise and keep both shoulders high (toward the ears), they are likely feeling insecurities or doubt. This behavior is called the "turtle effect." In essence, the individual is trying to hide in the open. High shoulders are not a sign of confidence. You often see this when a speaker asks for volunteers from a large group or from a student who is ill prepared for a question.

226. QUICK SHOULDER SHRUGGING When people are asked and don't know the answer, they often raise both shoulders quickly and prominently. The quick upward movement is a gravity-defying behavior and those are usually associated with positive feelings-in this case they really don't know. This tends to be more honest than a slow shoulder shrug (as they answer "I don't know") or a shrug of just one hesitating shoulder.

227. SITTING LOWER AND LOWER-People who sink lower and lower into their chairs during a meeting are revealing apprehension or lack of Like the turtle effect, this is a way of hiding in the open- they might also be hoping not to get called on. But note also that in some people this might be simply a sign of indifference or disinterest. This behavior stands out because the shoulders are lower in relation to the table.

228. SHOULDER/CLAVICLE RUBBING-During intense or stressful interviews, interviewees will reach across their chest and press their hand against their opposite shoulder, then slowly move their hand across their clavicle toward the chest. Sometimes the hand will then hover pressed against the chest area, or the process may be repeated. The tactile and repetitive nature of the behavior help to relieve stress or apprehension.

229. SHOULDERS WIDENING-The amplification of the shoulders from relaxed to broad can be a perceptible display of authority and confidence that signals a person is in charge. We often see this with athletes and military personnel. This is why business suits have padded shoulders to make their wearers look more powerful and authoritative.

30. RAISING SHOULDERS WITH PALMS UP, HEAD CANTED-This is the "Please, why not?" look, performed with the palms of the hands up, head canted to one side, with one or both shoulders up. It is a pleading behavior. Children do this as well as adults, and you often see it with athletes when they want a referee to reconsider an adverse decision.

231. KOWTOWING-This is a slight bending forward of the upper torso and shoulders, which may be intentional or subconscious. Around the globe, it is performed in some variant in the presence of a higher authority. In Asia, people bow out of respect, just as the queen's subjects do in London. The origin of kowtowing has much to do with our primate legacy, where everyone bends lower to the alpha male-in our case, someone of higher authority. As a testament to its universality, when the conquistadores reached the New World, they found that Native Americans also bowed or kowtowed to their king, just as they themselves had done in Queen Isabella's court.