apocalypse | 18+

10.

cannibalism

i was writing in my notebook while he drove carefully down the road.

"hey," he said patting my knee. "how are you feeling today?" he asked softly.

"cold," i said breathily. he looked at me for more. i knew what he meant. "i'm okay today."

"okay good, we're okay," he said. it sounded mostly to himself though.

"are we okay?" i asked quietly. now he was seeing a different side of me. i had taken my last bit of medicine before i left home. i was now starting to feel the effect of my neurodivergence unmedicated.

"i think we're okay," he shivered. his car was moving slower and slower each day. "i think we're driving into a blizzard."

"we should go back then," i said.

i always knew you were a killer

he had glass for skin

and lonely eyes

i was writing about him. i was writing him a hymn. how me of me.

"i know i'm a dumb ass for saying this, but i just want to keep you safe. but i want to make you happy too. what's the answer scientifically?" he asked me. his voice was low and scratchy when he said this. he sounded shy almost.

i tapped my pen against my lips looking out at the frozen expressway. "i want you to be warm," is what i decided.

"i have a few ideas," he smirked, wiggling his eyebrows. idiot.

"never mind. suffer," i said opening my book again and turning the other way with a laugh.

"hey, don't be that way. i just need an excuse to hold you."

"i'm anemic. hugging me will do you no good. you need to find a girl with blood," i laughed.

"oh no. I prefer my women like fire. you are an exception," he mumbled. "i usually prefer dumber too."

I rolled my eyes, "I find that kind of offensive and flattering at the same time," i opened a new page.

we escaped to the wilderness and slept in the flames

"you're so smart. you deserve someone who's so good," he said with a sigh. "i have no idea why you are hanging out with me sometimes."

i leaned my seat back and put the book over my face to hide my stupid expression. a smitten smile. the kind i would prefer to hide behind. i would rather die than let any man know that i am even the slightest bit attracted to them. i do not trust. not until the very end.

and it is the end.

"i'm just here to study your personality. dissect your insecurities, turn you into a character in a random book ill write someday and never talk to you again. isn't that obvious?" i said with a laugh.

he laughed with. "will I ever read this book?"

i scoffed, "hell no. and if you do that means.."