apocalypse | 18+

31.

PETALS OF EVE

when i woke up i blinked from the sunshine coming from the window. i was warm in bed, covered in clean blankets that felt like flower petals. soft. clean. warm. i basked in the moment before realizing that i was alone

i looked around the room in confusion. it was early morning probably, but elias promised he'd be back before i woke up. i knew that maybe he was just downstairs doing God knows what probably.

i stood up and sleepily walked downstairs avoiding the muddy footprints we left in the carpet.

"eli?" i called out sleepily. there was no answer. i didn't want to panic. maybe it was really early. maybe he had just stepped out to pee or something. maybe he was just in the backyard or out front.

i wandered about the house, i ignored the creepy basement and kept looking. i looked in the kitchen, the garage, and peered out of the windows and there was no sign of him anywhere.

i didn't want to panic. i could not panic. i knew my eli. i trusted his promise. instead i ate a brown sugar and cinnamon oatmeal packet while looking out of the window. everything was calm and silent. the world seemed normal that morning.

instead of panicking, i pretended that we lived in a normal world with no imminent danger of losing each other forever.

my love was just out running errands. and i was just to relax and wait.

this was the only way for me to survive alone. to pretend.

i went upstairs and sat in the rose petal bed again. i opened up a book. there was one entitled forever written in the stars.

it was a nice book. i drifted into that world instead. reading to pass the time.

the main characters by names were isabel thomson and nashford reynolds. i thought it was cute because they both went by nicknames. he'd call her bella, bel, isabel when he was being snarky. he was a pretty mean guy in the beginning chapters, but like any good book of course they end up falling in love.

it was juicy because he kissed her on new years eve and it was a dare, which is totally fucked up, but a dare is a dare i guess. that was the moment that poor isabel realized she liked him. and the guy lived next door to her. they would climb into each others windows at night.

there's this book within a book in the book that the two main characters like. it's called the what if factor. it's non-fiction. a book that's mostly theory based that the nash guy is obsessed with. it states one important thing: the what-if factor is inevitable.

it's heavily explained in the book. the nash guy has one tattoo that says the word unless. i think it's pretty cool. he's deep. a very deep feeling guy with lots of mental issues. the book kind of alludes to the fact that he's bi-polar or schizophrenic. i haven't really read too much into it, but i'm sure it'll be revealed in the sequel or epilogue maybe.

i had read their love story intensely raveling myself in their thoughts and feelings. how could he just abandon her on the beach like that? after she tattooed his name? insanity. he's a fucked up guy. way too emotional for someone like her, she was emotional herself. in the book she struggled with self-harm and wanting to be perfect. apparently she was a really good student. the nash guy even gave her nickname "bella-two-shoes." alluding to the whole goodie two shoes thing.

the book is good. it's so good. i started tearing up at the cabin scene, they were finally together after so long. it had some steamy moments too, like when the bed kept creaking back and forth and they tried to stay quiet.

i laid on my stomach facing the window with a sigh. i finally noticed. the sun had gone away. and i was almost done with the book.

i swallowed hard trying to ignore it.

he's okay. i kept repeating to myself. i imagined him gathering water and food. and him rinsing off in a creek somewhere. maybe he fell asleep or needed to get rest before coming back to me. he would come back to me, right?

anyways. bella and nash. he was supposed to tell her his secret, about his mom that is. the reason why he was in a foster home till he was eighteen. the reason why nobody wanted him.

i felt tears well in my eyes and j just couldn't take it anymore.

i was afraid to be alone. extremely.
and i could hardly see my book anymore.

i reached in my bag and pulled out a candle from my grandmas and lit it in the corner of the room. i gathered all of my belongings and food and brought them upstairs. i started to get anxious so i locked the bedroom door and pushed the dresser against it. i was pacing in a circle in the bedroom. where was he? where could he be?

i decided to make a pallet in the walk in closet. i put pillows and blankets in there and pushed all of the clothes and shoes away. i set the candle in the corner and shut myself in. in a smaller room like this i started to feel less afraid. i needed to feel safe. i needed to finish the book.

i picked up the book with shaky hands and read next to the candle in the corner. tears fell down my face silently as i read, my teardrops staining the pages. nash. he loved her so much, and he was afraid that she wouldn't believe him. everyone in the foster homes believed that he stabbed his mom in the kitchen when he was kid, but she stabbed herself. she was schizophrenic and believed that she had to die in order to sacrifice herself to let him live. she ended up jumping from their apartment balcony when he was only seven.

nash peered over the other side witnessing his mothers dead body in the road and was never same after that. and his life changed due to one idiot witness that claimed they saw nash push her. he was trying to stop her.

i ended up sobbing from the book. it had such a beautiful ending. she accepts him, they ride the bus like they used to when they first met, and they move in together. it was so sweet and loving. i hugged the book to my chest and sobbed myself.

i needed him to come back soon or i wouldn't be able to hold it together any longer. i kept remembering in the book that nash abandoned bella for a while when he ran away from the foster home. nobody could find him.

i kept thinking of the worst scenarios that could possibly happen while laying there in the closet. i couldn't read anymore. i couldn't do that anymore. i decided to sleep. and i decided to spend most of my time in the closet so i couldn't see how long it had been. i wouldn't see the sun rise or fall. i'd just see books, clothes, and my candle.

i slept in the closet for three days.

THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE END.