Senior lies

Answers (his pov)

I don't want to talk to anybody right now so I just walked home and shut my door. Not long after I heard a knock on the front door. I didn't open it because I really just wanted to be alone. I walked into school the next day covered in bruises and having my just healed knuckles open again
"What happened?"
She asked me outbox concern. She cares about me?
"Nothing, my dog just attacked me."
I realized I was stupid for saying that right afterwards.
"You said your dog doesn't hurt anybody, and when a dog attacks you you don't get bruises or bloody knuckles, you get cuts. What really happened."
"Why do you care, I mean you hate me remember."
I remembered Jakes words so I had to find a way to talk to her less.
"I thought you wanted me to stop hating you, now I'm trying to worry about you and you say this shit?"
The bell rang. She walked away but I hated myself for acting the way I just did. At physics I went over to her table to just tell her something.
"I don't want you to hate me, you wouldn't understand how much I don't want you to hate me, I just can't."
I really just can't. I want to be able to kiss her but I can't. I have to keep these feeling to myself and it's eating me inside. I noticed she was looking at me while I walked away
At night, for the first time ever, she shined her flashlight trough my curtain. I peaked trough to see her concerned face and just closed my curtains again. I heard a knock on my door, it was my mom.
"Hey honey you want to eat something."
"Not now mom!"
Not long after I heard a knock on the front door I quietly opened my door to hear who it was.
"Hey sweetie come on in."
I could tell by the 'sweetie' that it was Larisa at the door. I quickly shut my door again.
I could hear her soft and gentle footsteps on the stairs and then walking towards my room. She knocked, I was already under my covers but got out and opened the door right before she could knock again. I tried to look shocked even tho I knew it was her.
"Thank you."
"For what"
I snapped back at her.
"For caring about me."
She hugged me, I could smell her amazing perfume, I never wanted to end the hug. That was when I remembered I couldn't ask her out for another 6 months. I pulled away.
"Larisa what are you doing?"
She looked shocked. I felt bad. All I wanted to do was hug her even tighter.
"I'm sorry."
She said it with sadness and confusion. I hate Jake. I really fucking hate him. I WANT TO KISS HER. I WANT TO HOLD HER.
10 minutes after she left I heard my phone rang. Jake, the last person I want to talk to right now. I still answered, the smallest part of me hoped it was Larisa who stole his phone.
"Hey Alden look I'm sorry"
Said an annoying Jake sounding voice.
"I know you're probably mad at me and all but I need you to come over and just hug her"
"Can I tell her I love her?"
"No, not yet. I'm sorry."
"Then I'm sorry because I can't hug her and not tell her how a feel without wanting to rip my eyes out. Why don't you go hug her?"
And just like that he hung up on me.
I kept smelling my T-shirt because the smell of her perfume was still on it. I felt like a baby when I started crying because I want to tell her I love her. I don't want to be mean to her but it's the only way that I can stay away from her thinking she doesn't want to be near me.