Senior lies

Im trying (his pov)

"What the hell?!"
She yelled at me.
"Why the fuck did you do that?!"
I stayed silent.
"If you won't give me an answer you can go the fuck away."
"Please Larisa 4 months, wait 4 months and I can explain everything."
"I'm not going to wait 4 months, I want an answer now."
I got a little more upset. She got closer to me and pressed her finger on my chest.
"You don't want me, Mark does. Then you scare Mark off. I want an answer. Why did you do that?!"
"You don't know what I want."
I looked at her deeply and then took a small step back away from her finger. The only thing I want is her. I can't tell her that for another 4 months.
"Larisa... in 4 months I can explain everything. From the ignoring you to cuddling you."
"I can't wait 4 months for you!"
"Fuck, Larisa I waited 12 years for you!"
It just slipped out, now she's really going to want an answer that I can't give her for another 4 months.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"It means if I can wait 12 years, can you please wait 4 months?"
"I'm sorry but I can't wait 4 months for an answer."
I was shocked and confused.
"Keeping a secret from me for 12 years is not the same as waiting for an answer for 4 months."
"Yeah, keeping it a secret was harder."
Then I ran off. I wanted to talk to her more than anything in my life, but I couldn't. I couldn't see her precious face anymore without kissing her or hugging her or telling her how much I want her, how much I need her. She doesn't understand I can't live without her.

3 months had passed. I stopped talking to Larisa, but I kept glancing at her. She definitely noticed that I did but if it meant being able to see her face, it was worth it. I overheard her talking to Raven.
"C'mon go talk to him."
"No way Raven, he doesn't want to talk to me."
"Maybe, by you surely want to talk to him."
She wants to talk to me. I want to talk to her. So we should talk, is what most people think. Most people aren't in my situation. Most people can talk to the person they want to talk to the most, I can't.
We had a test the next day, a big one. But Jake decided to throw a party at my house. Larisa came over and she could see I was drunk as fuck.
"Keep the fucking noice down Alden I'm trying to study. Something maybe you should do instead of partying."
"I can't turn the music down, it's Jakes party."
She got confused, I also still don't understand why he threw the party at my house and not his.
"Go to bed Alden."
"I can't."
"Just go."
"No I literally can't my room is the make-out room."
She wrapped her arms around my waist and went to my house. It felt nice. Our parents were all on a night out. She wanted to put me to sleep in Jakes bed but Jake had locked his door, he doesn't like when she snoops around. Her parents would kill her if I slept in their bed, and she couldn't let me sleep on the couch. She was so caring for me. She took me to her bedroom. She put me in her bed, tucked me in and put a bucket next to it.
"If you need to puke please do it in the bucket."
"Okay"
I said before turning on my side towards her. She was sitting at her desk with earplugs in, trying to study. She looked so beautiful, her hair fell perfectly over her chair. She was so cut when she was studying. When she finished she took her earplugs out, the music had gone a bit quieter. She layed on the floor with a thin blanket and a pillow.
"Larisa don't go sleep on the floor again like in the cabin, come lay in bed."
She was shocked that I was still awake. Her bed was a one person bed, but she tried to squeeze myself in. She took the wall side. So I could reach the bucket.
"Larisa?"
I sad to her.
"Go to bed now, try and get some sleep."
"Thanks for letting me stay here."
I hadn't talk to her in 3 months but she still let me sleep in her bed. She still took care of me. I turned to face her and quietly said
"I love you Larisa."
Her cheeks turned red. I meant it. I didn't just say it because I was drunk. Maybe it helped, I would've never had the courage to tell her that without the help of alchohol.
We woke up just like we woke up on the first night in the cabin. Her hands pressed against his chest. My hands on her waist and in her hair. Our foreheads pressed against one another. She checked her clock. She was worried we weren't going to get to school in time if we didn't wake up right away.
"Alden wake up, we have to get ready for school."
She wanted to get out of bed but I pulled her waist down.
"Thank you for waiting for me."
I said before kissing her forehead. She didn't say anything and got out of bed. This time I didn't pull her down. I went to my house to get a fresh pair of clothes and brush my teeth. She got ready and we met outside. I gave her a ride since she doesn't have a license.