Calm (GiyuuxReader)

Fifty-Two: Failure

*(Y/N) POV*

It didn't take long for Inosuke to find free Uzui's wives. Makio immediately unwound me and I went for my blade. 

"GO (Y/N)! NOW!" Suma yelled as she fought with Inosuke. I shook my head. I have to do this. 

You will fail.

My eyes narrowed. That damn voice again. I'll show them. 

I ran towards the fabric, pricking my finger. I felt the girls running behind me, but it was no use. I wasn't going to fail. My mind went blank and I fell to the floor. 

I felt someone lift me up and carry me outside. 

"Tengen, what just happened?" Suma. It was her voice again. I heard him relay his unknowing of the events while putting me down on the ground. "Stay with her, make sure she doesn't go anywhere near the demons. I'll be back." 

His wives agreed and I tried sitting up, slowly opening my eyes. I looked down and saw my arm covered in blood. 

No. What the hell happened? I looked up to the girls, their faces full of worry. "(Y/N), you didn't stop. The only way you stopped was when you depleted yourself of so much blood your body couldn't take it anymore." 

I looked at them confused. That makes no sense. My body is meant to regenerate quicker than a human. 

A sharp pain shot up my leg, my eyes drawing to the scar around my ankle. Makio spoke, "The demon.. It grabbed you by your ankle, remember?" I shook my head.

Of course I don't remember, I lost control. What does this scar have to do with anything. Out of nowhere a wave of dizziness came over me. My body started swaying from my upright position. Then darkness.

*GIYUU's POV* 

When the hell is she going to be home? I ran over to Mitsuri's as soon as I finished my tea. (Y/N)'s sister with me.

Mitsuri tried her best at reassuring me too, but it didn't help. "Her crow will notify you if anything is wrong. You know this." 

After that, I left her sister with Mitsuri. She would be able to watch her better than I can right now. 

I laid my head on my pillow, an arm draped over my face. I lost track of how long it's been since I haven't been able to sleep. 

A pounding on the door of my estate startled me up. I swear if it's Mitsuri bring (Y/S/N) back.

I got up from my futon, the pounding growing more intense. Opening the door I see Makio in front of me, clearly just back from a mission. 

She looks me in the eyes, and that's all the confirmation I need. I start running right to Butterfly Mansion. 

I go straight to the room she was kept in last time. My eyes falling on the bed she rested in. 

Damn it. I knew it, I knew something had gone wrong. I run up to her, assessing the damage to her body but see nothing. Confused I turn to the door about to run for Shinobu but see her standing there. 

"Excessive blood loss," she states, nodding her head at (Y/N). I furrow my eyebrows together. 

Blood loss? How is that possible? Her breathing form revolves around the use of her blood. The only way she could have too much blood loss is if - 

"Check her ankle Giyuu." I do as I'm told, pulling the blanket up. The scar now nearly reaching just below her calf. "I'm doing my best to find a way to fix this, but you need to make sure she doesn't go out on any more missions. I'm serious about this." 

I nod my head and hear the door close. I grab (Y/N) hand and hold it up to my lips. No matter how upset I am with her for this decision, her being here right now is all that matters. 

*(Y/N) POV*

Eye rapidly blink my eyes, trying to adjust to the light. Turning my head slowly, I noticed Giyuu resting his head on the bed beside me. I brush his hair back and sigh. This alerts him to my now awaken state and he sits up. 

"(Y/N), you're awake." I nod my head and go to speak but he stops me. "I only got here a few hours ago, you haven't been out long. 

I let out a breath. Thank god. I don't know what I would have done if I was out for as long as last time. 

I bring my eyes to meet Giyuu's and see the disappointment, frustration, and relief in them. 

The disappointment and frustration. The two that stand out the most and that I'm tired of everyone feeling with me. 

Giyuu sighs and goes to brush a piece of my hair away from my face. I turn my head a bit not letting him touch me. He looks at me confused and I know he would be. 

Taking his hand back he speaks again, "Uzui told me what happened." I roll my eyes. "(Y/N). This isn't something to get like this about. This is serious." He pauses before continuing, "We have to meet with Master soon about the journal and about -" 

"Don't." I stop him. His jaw tenses and relaxes in a split second. "(Y/N), you have to under -" "You didn't trust me. Uzui didn't trust me. No one trusted me. How was I supposed to trust myself?" 

Giyuu sighs and runs a hand down his face, "You know that's not what it is." "Really then what is it Giyuu? Because it sure as hell just seems like no one trusts me. If everyone believed in me, maybe I wouldn't have lost control. Maybe I wouldn't have given into the stupid voice telling me I would fail anyway."

His eyes snap to mine, "What voice?" "It doesn't matter now," I snap at him. 

Giyuu's eyes, now fully of worry, look down as he thinks. Slowly he trails back up and meet mine, "(Y/N), you need to tell me what voice. This could be related to -" I shake my head. 

"I don't want to hear about anything right now Giyuu." I stop myself for a second, my stomach dropping before continuing, "Honestly, if I don't even have you on my side what's the point of this anymore?" 

Again his jaw tenses, "What do you mean?" I close my eyes. "You know what I mean Giyuu." He tries to reach for my hand, but I cross it across my stomach instead. 

"(Y/N), don't do this," he whispers. I open my eyes and meet his again. "Master said it himself Giyuu. We don't have to be together. We never did. You're just the calm that I need on the field."

His mouth opens to speak, but no words come out. He closes it, thinking for a moment before responding, "(Y/N), you know I love you. You know I support you. You know I trust you. We wouldn't have made it this long if we didn't support or trust each other." 

I turn my head away from him. He doesn't trust me. If he did he would let me go out on missions alone without getting upset or angry. 

Staring at the wall in front of me I speak again, "Please leave Giyuu." I hear his chair slide out from underneath him, "No, that's not what you want (Y/N). I know that's not what you want. Just the other day -"

I stop him again, turning to look at him one last time, "It doesn't matter what I want. It's what I need."

He takes a step back like I just stabbed him in the chest. Maybe I did. But I can't keep doing this without everyones full trust. With everyone getting angry whenever I lost control of something I have no control over to begin with. 

I watch a tear fall fall down his face and he nods once before turning his back to me. He walks towards the door, and I feel the tears threatening to fall from my own eyes. 

Giyuu pauses before completely walking out, slightly looking over his shoulder, "I love you. You know that. But I'm not playing the back and forth game this time around." 

With that he walks out the door and my heart goes with him. 

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Hi everyone! Sorry, but umm, that kinda happened. 

I'm thinking of skipping the next arc, adding some more original story line, and going to Hashira Training. What do we think?

xx