vacant :: lrh

Chapter 25

Later that night, I decide to go talk to Luke again. I reluctantly knocked on his door, silently hoping he would answer, which he did.

This time, his eyes were duller than they were at out previous meeting. He looked down at me sadly.

"Grace, I don't want your charity," He sighed, his voice cracking in an awkward way.

"I know you don't, but I think you need it," I shrugged and gave him a sorry look.

"I really don't," He argued softly, "I just want some alone time, that's all."

I stepped forward, getting closer to him. I shut the door and then turned back around to face him, reaching up and putting my arms lazily around his shoulders and looking up to met his depressing gaze.

He shakily put his hands on my hips, making sure that they weren't in too low territory.

Now that I was closer, I noticed that his eyes were red, as was his face.

He had been crying.

I shook my head a little. He frowned and tilted his head, trying to make sense out of my small gesture.

"I didn't realized how much this effected you," I commented. He shrugged.

"I don't know why it bothers me so much," He spoke. His minty breath washed over my face. I momentarily had the urge to kiss him, but I knew that it would only make everything harder on him when I leave.

"You really liked me, huh?" I asked, though I knew the answer already.

"Is it that obvious?" He asked humorously, a sad chuckle leaving his lips as he said it. I let out a short laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

Once his chuckle died out, he frowned down at me, "This isn't making it easier," He said.

"But you're enjoying the moment, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, I am," He nodded.

"Then that's all that matters," I pointed out. He nodded again, showing me that I was right.

After that he just starred down at me as I aimlessly looked at his chest. After minuets of pure silence, he tapped his fingers on my hips, grabbing my attention. I looked up at him, he was already looking down at me.

He leaned in slowly and kissed me the same way. I didn't kiss back at first, which caused him to pull away and give me a hurt look. I pulled him back down to kiss me, I kissed him back this time. But after a few seconds, I realized how wrong it all was and pulled away again. I didn't dare to look at him.

I heard one soft sniffle come from above, I looked up to see that Luke was tearing up. I dropped my arms off of his shoulders and let my hands run soothingly along the length of his arms.

A single tear escaped his right eye as he blinked. He wiggled himself out of my arms and paced around the room. He had his face buried in his hands as he did so, probably not wanting me to see.

"You love him, not me, and it sucks, it sucks so fucking bad because I love you too," He muttered though sobs, "You come here and kiss me and then you're gonna leave me again. You're gonna leave me all alone again with nothing but my thought. And they aren't good thoughts either," He sobbed and stopped pacing, looking me in the eyes, "All I can think about is you and him being together, and I'm just stuck here on the side. I'm a fucking rebound."

He was right. There was nothing but conviction behind his voice as he spoke. He was just stating facts.

"Luke, you're not a rebound, I swear it's not like that," My voice cracked and I was on the edge of tears myself.

"Then what am I?" He asked, his tone wasn't soft and broken anymore, it was full of anger towards me, "What do you call this?" He motioned between the two of us as he asked that particular question.

"I..." I couldn't find the words. He was right and he knew it.

"I'm just your rebound," He finished for me. I didn't argue with him because there was nothing to say to that. "I just want somebody who'll stick around and be true to their word. I don't want to be a fucking rebound for you when you suddenly want me. Take it or leave it, because I'm not playing this game," His words were final.

"What about Calum?" I asked.

"I said, take it or leave it," He stated firmly, barely containing his anger as the words left his lips.

"I.." I didn't know what to say, "I want it.." I sighed, knowing that it was wrong of me, I was just going back and fourth now and I finally felt guilty for it.

Luke let out an exasperated breath and closed his eyes as he tried to get some of the anger out of his system.

"I'm not gonna be here next time you want me so I would be careful if I were you," He warned.

"Okay," I whispered, understandingly.

I walked out of his room and to the room where the other boys were, sleeping.

I went over to Calum's sleeping body and gently shook it, "Cal, wake up."

He groaned in response and opened his tired eyes, "hmm?" He asked.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked.

"In the morning, come to bed," He mumbled, patting the spot next to him.

"No, no. Cal, right now," I pleaded.

He huffed and sat up, rubbing his eyes before getting out of bed and walking out to the hallway with me following suit.

"What?" He asked softly.

"I just talked to Luke," I spoke, my voice shaking nervously.

He leaned up against the wall as he glanced at me, "and what did he say?"

"He thinks that he's just my rebound and he got all mad about it too," I explained vaguely, "and he said take it or leave it," I breathed shakily as I continued further, "I took it," I bit my lip as I finished, waiting for Calum's reaction.

Calum sighed and rubbed his face tiredly.

"Grace," He whispered, "you can't keep doing this." He was surprisingly calm, compared to what I was expecting.

"I know, Cal," I said sadly.

He sighed and let his hands drop back to his sides, "I'll leave you two to it then," He shrugged.

We both blinked tiredly, I started to tuen and walk to Luke's room.

Calum patted my butt, "see you."

"You too," I said and we parted.