A Life Without You

A Life Without You 2/3

I knew what I planned.

I knew exactly why I came out here.

I came to kill myself.

Luckily enough, there seemed to be nothing to stop me.

All was desolate in the town of South Park. Not a soul was to be seen, almost as if time had frozen. The night sky was the color of a raven and the snow fell mercilessly.

I shivered slightly, my body reacting to the outside. My breath was visible despite there barely being any light.

Memories had started to form images in my mind as I passed by certain spots. All the joyous times spent here, playing on the basketball court, pretending to be an elf king in the backyard's of friends, waiting at the same bus stop every single day.

Those were memories. Memories that all but stopped as soon as he was gone.

The final memory appeared.

"Fuck you Fatass!"

"That's the best you got stupid, filthy Jew? It's the truth isn't it? You're nothing but a rotten piece of-"

"Shut up! God damn it you racist piece of shit! Why can't you just fucking leave me alone! I HATE YOU!"

Hot, salty tears ran down my face as I continued to walk, my pace a bit faster.

That's it.

That was one place I needed to go. The place I had last seen him alive.

It was fitting, as that was going to be the last place I will be alive.

The crunching of the snow was all that was heard. It seemingly echoed through the endless snow covered streets of the town.

I couldn't feel my feet, probably already numb from the cold.

That wasn't enough to stop me. It was never going to be enough. My mind set on what I was prepared to do. The numbing cold slowly creeping up on my body had no affect on my steady pace.

I walked, knowing exactly where I was going.

__________

It wasn't very long before my destination was in my sight.

Stark's pond.

The icy water went on for miles, bobbing back and forth occasionally.

I smiled.

I was done.

The guilt and despair that hung over my head was finally going to go away.

I pushed myself onto a nearby tree, my body slowly shutting down from the cold. The pjs I wore and the ushanka I always had on my head wasn't going to be enough to save me from the weather.

Slowly, yet surely, I began to be unable to feel my limbs. First my fingertips, then my hand, then my arm, and so forth.

I took a hard breath. The cold air sharply pricking the back of my throat. My lungs began to burn. It was a sign. The sign that It'll all be over.

Soon enough, frost began to pile itself on to me. Tiny bits of snow fell from the darkness above. Each unique in their own way. They never stopped, never hesitated to fall to the ground.

It's kind of peaceful.

I continued to watch them fall, forcing my mind to focus on something other than the cold. A sudden drowsiness overcame me.

I sat down, the freezing snow touching my already numb bottom. Unable to move anymore, I'm stuck. There was no turning back from the state I'm in.