When the Water's Dried

The Birthday Dilemma

A/N: Hey everyone! I'd like to start by saying (late) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year's Eve! I had an amazing 2022 and I hope everyone has a good 2023! Now onto some great news.

I am happy to announce that there will be an official cover for this story. I was at Holiday Matsuri a couple weeks ago, and I commissioned someone in the artist alley. I am currently working the details out with them, but it should be finished late January/early February. So stay on the lookout. 

Happy New Year!

Just as usual, Wolf and Snake were sitting at their favorite diner, laughing and talking while they ate. Thanks to the terrified crowd in the corner daring not to make a move, the two were able to have their conversation in peace. That conversation just so happened to be about Snake's birthday, which was today.

"Stop," the reptile spat.

"I'll stop asking if you just explain it," Wolf smirked.

"Would you please drop it?" Snake groaned.

"Alright, fine, consider it dropped," Wolf replied as he stirred his coffee. "It's dropped. It's on the ground."

"Good."

For some reason Wolf couldn't fathom, Snake despised birthdays. It was the one day of the year where he could get presents, do all kinds of cool things, and most importantly, have cake. He needed to talk some sense into his cold-blooded best friend.

"But come on!" Wolf pressed.

"Ugh!"

"Everybody loves birthdays. You've got balloons, decorations, parties, and CAKE. Remember how happy Luna was on hers last year? She just couldn't get enough! She said it was the best birthday she ever had!"

While Wolf thought this would work, Snake just rolled his eyes. He thought back to last year, when Luna turned sixteen. The place was decked out with black balloons and streamers. She sat at the table, wearing her favorite black dress, surrounded by the gang with the cake in front of her.

"Yeah, and what doesn't help is that she has the same birth month as me," Snake hissed. "It almost looked like a funeral to me." He glanced over at the booth behind them, which was where he and Wolf saw Luna for the first time. A year and a half went by ever since they took her in, and everyone had grown fond of her over time, including him.

"Look, I don't need presents, I don't want decorations, and I'm not a cake guy," he continued. Instead, he had a rather unconventional preference.

You're not a cake guy?" Wolf asked in disbelief. "Name one food better than cake."

"Guinea pig," Snake replied, smirking.

"Again with the guinea pigs!" Wolf groaned, rolling his eyes. "Come on! I bet if I blindfolded you, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig."

"Wrong," Snake hissed as he picked up a container of sugar. "Snakes have impeccable taste buds. I can taste air." He stuck his tongue out as he filled his coffee with the sugar before putting it back.

"Air?" Wolf asked sarcastically.

"Yes, air. Mm, nice!" Snake joked as he stuck his tongue out once more.

"I don't know," Wolf replied. "They're a little, uh, too cute for my taste."

"That's what makes them so delicious!" Snake pointed out, picking up the now lonely T-bone off his friend's plate. "You're not just eating food, you're eating pure goodness. It's not about the pig, it's about what it symbolizes on a deeper level!"

"So you can taste air? What else you got?"

"Forget about it."

"Can you also hear color? Can you also see sound?" Wolf pressed on. He was definitely enjoying this. "Cause we should really be capitalizing on these skills."

Snake began to cough, and when he finished, his mouth opened to reveal an old-fashioned alarm clock.

"Look at that, 4 PM. Now I know the exact moment our friendship died."

"Let's bounce," Wolf said, laughing, unfazed by what the reptile just said.

Swallowing the alarm clock back down, Snake slithered out of the booth and followed Wolf up to the counter.

"Tastes like you're going to stick me with the bill. Again," Wolf noted.

"Well, it is my birthday," Snake grinned.

"So now you play the birthday card," Wolf called him out. "That's interesting." He looked around, but didn't see anyone behind the counter. "Can we get the check when we get a chance please? Hello? Checkity-check?"

Silence.

Taking some cash out of his wallet, Wolf put it on the counter. "You know what? We're just gonna leave the money here, okay?"

"You know the one good thing about this place?" Snake asked.

"What?"

"We never have to wait for a table."

"Isn't that every place?"

Turning to the crowd trying their best to hide in the corner, Snake grinned. "Hey man, how have you been? I haven't seen you in–snake attack!" He suddenly shrieked, baring his fangs. This made the already terrified patrons try to back away even further, much to his amusement. He was even more delighted when he noticed what was next to the register.

"Ooh! Mints!" Not wasting any time, he gulped them all down.

"Sorry folks!" Wolf reassured the customers. "I'm switching him to decaf."

Pushing the doors open and stepping out into the city, Wolf and Snake looked at each other.

"Let's do this."